GAME: Hook my first line and sink her in to a paragraph!

[sule]

"3...2...1... Move it! Move it now!"

Gertrude forced herself to dance, moving in rhythm to the sound of eighties music blaring out of massive stereos. Sweat streaked down her forehead and soaked into her hyacinth headband. The robotic exercise instructor--for some reason programmed to behave like a deranged Richard Simmons--gyrated frenetically at the front of the class and stared with dead red eyes directly at her. Gertrude's pulse quickened, not a healthy development for someone well into her twelfth decade. Why was he staring at her?

"Gertrude Franklin, you are one-sixteenth of a second out of sync. You will correct this behavior or be removed from the class."
----------------------

My ship knifed through the asteroid field with the poise of a shark hunting prey.

 

[Don]

My ship knifed through the asteroid field with the poise of a shark hunting prey.

Ahead a point of light flickered; vacillated as if to send coded message. As the distance between ship and source closed, the point of light clearly became a rotating small planet with pools of quicksilver, which reflected light from its system's central star whenever the viewing angels lined up. A braking maneuver ever so slowly put the ship into a position to land, tail first.

---

As the ship descended it inadvertently found itself above a pool of quicksilver, into which it slowly sank.

 

[Mad Alice]

As the ship descended it inadvertently found itself above a pool of quicksilver, into which it slowly sank, red lights flashing and sirens blaring. Our alien hosts amassed anew All battles systems engaged.
"Attention All Alien Tourists Now Congregating amongst our Quicksilver Breeding Pools. Please put down your thermometers and release all other captured quicksilver wildlife you have taken into your possession. This is your final warning!".
I dropped the capture net. Blimmey. Those coppers from the alien bunko squad after us just for trying to lift a few quicksilver fish to market on e-Galaxy Bay. What's a feller to do without a few flash goods?



A shark here at the convention?

 

[Joshua Jones]

"A shark here at the convention?"

"Wilhelmina, stop staring! It's rude."

"But George, he's from a different class..."

"Shhh! Bringing your prejudices to the convention... This is supposed to be a place where all are welcome!"

"But surely not... his kind..."

Suddenly a voice rang out. "I call to order the 78th Annual All Whale Convention! Krill, seal, and calamari will be served at the Shellfish Café and Bistro." The host, a sperm whale known for his long-winded nature, continued for hours as porpoises played in the aisles. George and Wilhelmina had nearly tuned him out when he said, "And now, introducing our guest speaker. The first whale shark to grace us with his presence..."
----------------------------------

I really need to get some work done.

 

[Kharn]

"I really need to get some work done."

"You sure do," the dark figure said from the corner. "That hole isn't going to dig itself."

"No, I mean I have actual business to attend to. I can't keep covering for you."

The figure took a step toward him, the lamp on the desk making his form waver a bit. "We have a deal. I help further your career and you dig the graves."

"When I asked to be a politician, this wasn't what I had in mind. I wanted to unite people, not eliminate my opponents."

"You wanted political power, you never specified how you got it. Now, hurry up, my agent is heading to Dallas as we speak."

He threw down his pen and gave up on writing his speech. "Fine, but this is the last one."

The figure retreated back into the shadows. "We'll see about that, Mr. Johnson."

-----‐----------------------------------

Finally, after all these years, we've discovered the cure!

 

[Joshua Jones]

Man, its like you guys know I have a zombie apocalypse WiP featuring Leah and Marius and are subtly prompting me to write more... btw if anyone has feedback, either positive or negative, feel free to post it or PM me!

-----------------------------------
"Finally, after all these years, we've discovered the cure!"

"Doc, we gotta get out of here," Marius said as the steel door bent. The door couldn't hold them much longer.

"Hey Mar, what do you think?" Leah asked, walking up and doing a little turn in her new body armor.

"I think, if you don't want a zombie eat us," a blue hand burst a hole in the door, searching for the interior handle, "you'll stop the fashion show," Marius opened fire into the arm and through the hole, "and get your newly shiny a** over here!"

"Knew you'd like it," Leah said with a wink as she chambered a round into her SMG. "And I knew I'd like this baby..."

The steel door exploded off its hinges, becoming a faucet of undead. Marius and Leah opened fire.

-----------------------------------

The mighty Storm Bird screeched and plummeted to the ground.

 

[Kharn]

Not sure if this was intentional based on my handle, but if not, I ran with it anyway.
---------‐-------------------------

The mighty Storm Bird screeched and plummeted to the ground. With a thunderous crash, the transport dug itself into the soft ground, taking down trees as if they were toothpicks in a hurricane. The red and gold livery of the World Eaters had been chipped down to bear metal in some spots and splattered with mud in others but the cargo it carried were largely unharmed.

The front ramp had jammed in place, forcing the World Eaters inside to use the side hatches. As they piled out, they set up a perimeter around their downed craft before their Captain came out. He was a hulking monstrosity even for a Legionary, his red and gold plate bearing so many battle scars it was almost considered beyond repair. His left arm was bare and the muscles flexed as he hefted his chainaxe Gorechild onto his shoulder.

"Couldn't avoid it, Lord," the pilot said, bowing deeply. "They jammed our sensors."

Kharn looked at the wreckage, rage ever building inside him. It was the only thing he had felt for decades now.

"Such a loss to the legion," Kharn said, "is beyond forgiveness." With one swift motion he activated the chainaxe on his shoulder and swept it through the pilot. The man fell, bisected at the waist.

"There is killing to do!" Kharn cried, raising his axe high.

----------------------------

I feel funny, what was in that drink you made me?

 

[Joshua Jones]

Not sure if this was intentional based on my handle, but if not, I ran with it anyway.
---------‐-------------------------

The mighty Storm Bird screeched and plummeted to the ground. With a thunderous crash, the transport dug itself into the soft ground, taking down trees as if they were toothpicks in a hurricane. The red and gold livery of the World Eaters had been chipped down to bear metal in some spots and splattered with mud in others but the cargo it carried were largely unharmed.

The front ramp had jammed in place, forcing the World Eaters inside to use the side hatches. As they piled out, they set up a perimeter around their downed craft before their Captain came out. He was a hulking monstrosity even for a Legionary, his red and gold plate bearing so many battle scars it was almost considered beyond repair. His left arm was bare and the muscles flexed as he hefted his chainaxe Gorechild onto his shoulder.

"Couldn't avoid it, Lord," the pilot said, bowing deeply. "They jammed our sensors."

Kharn looked at the wreckage, rage ever building inside him. It was the only thing he had felt for decades now.

"Such a loss to the legion," Kharn said, "is beyond forgiveness." With one swift motion he activated the chainaxe on his shoulder and swept it through the pilot. The man fell, bisected at the waist.

"There is killing to do!" Kharn cried, raising his axe high.

----------------------------

I feel funny, what was in that drink you made me?

Actually no, I'm nearly completely unfamiliar with Warhammer 40K, but I like where you took it!

-----------------------------
"I feel funny, what was in that drink you made me?"

"What do you mean?" I said, feigning ignorance.

"My head... pretty colors..." She was already delirious. It was working fast.

"Just close your eyes and it'll be over soon."

"But I don't... don't touch..."

I touched my finger to my lips as she closed her eyes and body went limp. After pulling her blanket over her, I pulled out a syringe of green fluid and injected it in her arm. With those nanomachines, she at least stood a chance to fight the virus. But her fever and delirium didn't bode well.

Good luck kid.
-----------------------------

It was not the best of times; merely the worst.

 

[sule]

It was not the best of times; merely the worst. Craig had assumed that when the robot sharks leveled New York and the mega-typhoon wiped out Tokyo that things had peaked. Of course, that was before the earthquake in Paris unearthed several of the elder gods and they'd converted Europe into a smoking ruin within minutes.

The compound was square and squat and grey. A tall man in a thick red robe stood outside with a pen poised above a vellum manuscript. His eyes shined golden from underneath his hood as he stared into Craig. "And what offering have you brought for the sublime tentacled One?"

Craig coughed. "Myself," he said.

If you can't beat 'em...
------------------------------------------------

"Today's the day, S'qrrlm!"

 

[J Riff]

"Today's the day, S'qrrlm!"
All his friends were there - Skklrt, Pfflrgh, Gllbrz, Fnorgk, Spxxxz, Znfght and Pflluie, as well as the girls -
Brhzftey, Jsidsud, Sdosgq; and the kids - Trfhai, Ksodisdu, Boaiwue, and their dogs - the highly-trained Zzzghstrf,
Wosoiewu, and of course Terodssdosdsisq. It was a wonderful surprise party and S'Qrrim's tentacles blushed moistly as
he boarded the space-train to home. Home, his home planet, the loveliest planet in the Galaxy, the incredible planet Enuncisiadusiudisaosasians - HgddfFkliien39-DSaosidAWOOQertyzk - (TBC)

The Time-Catapult was rarely predictable.

 

[Guttersnipe]

The Time-Catapult was rarely predictable. The recently deceased man who invented it had terrible penmanship that rendered the instructions nearly illegible. Some were shot too far, past the lifespan of Earth, while others wound up splattered. Apparently, the machine was reproduced and tinkered with, as well as renamed; there were Time-Giant Slingshots and Time-Big Boomerangs. These were just as unpredictable. On one occasion, a man from the present collided with a man from the future. But not to worry; posthumans eventually invented time-armor.

The giant mime swallowed a handful of jalapeños.

 

[Provincial]

The giant mime swallowed a handful of jalapeños. Suicide looked like the best option at that moment, especially if he could take the whole of the sweaty crowd of ignorant, opinionated, tiny critics with him. He glared at the Earther scum and performed the actions of someone fleeing from mortal danger, but as always they just laughed, and some... well, some of them clapped. Clapped! As if it was a compliment!






Days like this were few and far between, gifts to be treasured.

 

[J Riff]

Days like this were few and far between, gifts to be treasured. Squimbley sat back in his comfy armchair and watched the sky, and not a single giant purple reptilian bat-thing was to be seen. Neither were there any of the odd 3-wing killer Pterodactyls evident, or even the ubiquitous winged Octo-mice. Something had drawn them all away, to the other side of the planet, and he was alone - alone to sit and read his beloved science-fiction books, brought from old Earth by his Grandmaw. The stories were so normal, so sensible and ordinary, and Squimbly drifted into a lovely fantasy about a simple rocketship adventurer who explored unknown planets where terrible things sometimes happened - but nothing so terrible as Squimbly was subject to on an almost-daily basis... and he read blissfully onward, until a gigantic swarm of Alligator-sparrows the size of Winnebagos appeared over the horizon and immediately attacked his small trailer - and things were back to normal.

The small dot in the sky grew rapidly larger.

 

[Iwroteathing]

The small dot in the sky grew rapidly larger. Squint, and less dot-like features could be realised; a pair of enormous yellow wings, a rounded tail, a chunky neck, and a bulbous pot-belly. Like an inverted arrowhead falling straight from the heavens, he spun downwards and surrendered to the magic of gravity, letting it find a path to the earth for him instead. And much like a terrible marksman, the small dot had missed his target. He didn't bother fighting the wind, and neither did he fight the current as he splashed in the ocean, several hundreds of miles from his dreery lair. He floated back up to the surface a few minutes later, and sobbed weakly as he bobbed up and down. What a small dot indeed.

King Hedgehog had lost his crown, and couldn't find it anywhere.

 

[Provincial]

The small dot in the sky grew rapidly larger. Kieran worked the paint into the canvas with rapid, confident strokes, pulling shadows out and sketching spots of light in without changing the colour even once. Within a minute I could see that the dot was an aeroplane, banking at an extreme angle. Then there were other dots in the sky, rapidly evolving into a number of smaller aircraft, which appeared to be... following the larger plane? Fighter planes pursuing a passenger jet? Fighter jets firing rockets at a passenger jet? Was this beautiful piece of performance art, being broadcast live on national TV, going to prove to be nothing more than a bit of stealth advertising for a rubbish movie?

The way I remember it, Kieran has just put the finishing touches on the image of a rocket crashing into a tall building - which bore more than a passing resemblance to the studios we were broadcasting from - when the lights went out.




As always, the boy refused to share.

 

[Provincial]

King Hedgehog had lost his crown, and couldn't find it anywhere. The last time he’d seen it was when he took it off to go to the loo, during an ad break in the middle of Killer Traffic Live. He blamed it on the curry he’d had earlier. It had smelled delicious when he’d found it on the floor next to the bins during his normal nightly patrol. He knew that being King meant he was supposed to be above scavenging, but you have to move with the times, or so he’d rationalised. He had certainly found himself deeply moved later on, on the loo. But his subjects were likely to be moved to violence if they found out he’d lost the crown. How else were they supposed to keep in contact with the aliens who were promising to rescue the whole of the Hog Nation from their persecutors?



As always, the boy refused to share.

 

[Mad Alice]

As always the boy refused to share. He ran right home to his family, to the palatial mansion of the lord high governing wizard. The boy was the only unmagical person in his home, and was subject to any and all his possessions being riffed away from him. They were counting on that. The entire package of sleep weed infused candies would be taken from the boy as were all the boy's confections always taken away by his bullying siblings. Then the family's matriarch would seize the candy from the siblings and later distribute them as after dinner treats for the governing wizard council members. The maids and cooks and other household staff would steal their own pieces and in short order everyone but the boy would be asleep for the better part of forty-eight hours. Then the overthrow of the governing wizards would begin. By the time the lot of them awoke they would be safely ensconced within the magic null zone island prison. Except for the boy. The boy would finally be given a chance to live without fear of beatings, starvings and the other cruel punishments his family inflicted upon him simply because he was different. The same kind of different as the entirety of the rest of the kingdoms beset upon population. Revolution was sweet.



Across the ancient path of stars a chill blue light slowly pooled.

 

[Boneman]

Across the ancient path of stars a chill blue light slowly pooled. Some said it foretold of the return of the ancients and some said it was a confluence of planets that produced reflected light. Some even said it was werelight, and the undead would rise up and claim the planet. Cults rose and fell, and people died fighting for their beliefs when challenged. It took two centuries, but finally the spacecraft that emitted the light passed by. The light bathed the people for twenty days, and nobody who encountered it felt any different. Except for one girl, who felt an awakening, deep inside her. She packed her meagre belongings, and headed to the enclave of the rulers. It was time.


The wolves of the forest retreated to the mountains, and the wildcats followed.

 

[J Riff]

The wolves of the forest retreated to the mountains, and the wildcats followed. Ere long, most mammals, pretty much any larger than shrews, had made their way to the foothills, and they rested there before continuing on up onto the mountain proper. It was a long haul, and many a marsh rat collapsed and had to be carried by Beavers or Hedgehogs. Eventually some Reptiles figured out what was going on, and soon slithering masses filled the roads and gullies. Given enough time, the largest insect hives became conscious of a need to move, and great swarms blackened the sky for miles around. By noon of the next day the mountain was full, and only the humans had failed to heed the unspoken subconscious warning that had persuaded all the critters to get to higher ground. We all know what happened next.

The flaming asteroid came down in the Atlantic ocean, travelling near 20,000 MPH.

 

[Guttersnipe]

The flaming asteroid came down in the Atlantic Ocean, traveling near 20,000 MPH. The planet was reduced to a cinder. Luckily, humankind had long been prepared, and watched the spectacle from Mars. There would be no more paradises, no more wonders of the world--only ersatz biomes dotting the cold, unfeeling rock. Historians recorded. Poets lamented. Rulers quivered. It was as the death of a mother to her children. And the last generation born on Earth wondered: How long will this new world last?

The detective answered his telephone and heard what sounded like Elfish on the other end.