Total Spoilage>>>
Typed while watching this, in 2D.
The Amazing Spiderman 2012
20 mins. character development, Peter at school. Uncle Ben, Aunt May.
A mysterious satchel left by Peter’s father… a Mcguffin?
At 22 min. the radioactive spider bites Peter.
Less than a minute later later he sticks to the roof of the train car he’s riding in. Nobody seems to notice that, instead a punch-up starts when he can’t unstick himself from a girl. Ohhkay.
27 min. – discovers super strength, wrecks the bathroom.
35 min. Pete smashes the basketball backboard and puts down Flash.
37 min. super-Peter goes skateboarding.
A couple minutes to explain the interspecies genetic science stuff.
52 min. Uncle Ben dead, Peter’s fault, a few gangsters beaten up, Spidey costume and gadgets underway.
54 min. Spiderman lives.
Spidey makes monkeys outa 38 NYPD. Good action.
Movie slows down. Petey and Gwen hang out.
At 1:11 he tells her he is Spidey.
At 1;13 da Lizard appears onna bridge in NYC. He gets away as
Spidey holds up a burning car hanging from the bridge to save Jack the kid!
Reward offered for the vigilante Spidey.
1:22 ooh Freddy the lab mouse turns into a carnivore.
Rumours of a giant dinosaur in NYC.
Spidey hangs in the sewers with a lot of little lizards.
1:27:34 the Lizard attacks! Spidey uses his super swimming ability to get away.
Gwen patches him up…kissing and mush…violins… he takes her for a swing around the city.
The Lizard talks to himself….rants…he knows Pete is Spidey.
1:34 Lizard smashes up through the latrine at Peters’ school!
The Lizard is approx. ten feet tall and he chucks Peter around, busting up much of the school. Pete gets his Spidey costume on and manages to rip the Lizards tail off. It grows right back, poof, just like that.
Lizard has Spidey pinned! Gwen appears and bashes him with a school trophy!
Spidey wraps the lizard up with many webs, throws Gwen out the window on a web to save her. Lizard breaks free, and Spiderman says: “Uh-ohh. Somebodys been a bad lizard.”
They trash the school library, funny scene with the oblivious librarian listening to classical music on headphones.
Gwen’s Dad the NYPD officer has the school surrounded but Pete chases the Lizard into the sewer. Gwen goes for the serum that will turn the lizard back into Prof. Whatsisface.
Wow… the cops blast the Lizard about a thousand times with machine-guns. He’s down…woop he’s up with gas canisters… green gas of course,
1:41 Gwen cooking antidote at corporate HQ… her Dad and his men try to machine-gun Spidey but he runs sideways along various buildings and the bullets all miss him and tear up NYC some more….gosh…they hit Spidey with a taser and he falls, trashing a few taxi cabs in the process.
He is stunned..they cuff him.. Gwen’s dad pulls his mask off, and Spidey wakes and beats hell outs NYC’s finest. He knocks them all out, except for Gwen's Dad, and Peter explains what’s what to him..they head for the showdown at Oscorp Tower, where Gwen now hides…
one minute till the serum is ready.. oop. huge lizard comin’ through the wall… she hides, Lizard finds her but she has a mini-flamethrower handy!
The injured Spidey rests up… Cops evacuating the area… crane operators unite to help mangled Spidey get to the tower!
Gwen escapes with the serum… Lizard sets up a machine to infect the entire city…turn ‘em into lizards I reckon. Spidey gets there and major battle ensues….wowee… geepers… Lizard has Peter beaten…mask off…the Lizard launches into a monologue…a mistake as it turns out because Gwen’s Dad arrives and boom! there went the liquid nitrogen tank, and Spidey grabs it and hoses the Lizard down while Gwen’s dad shoots him… Lizard falls in nitrogen tank and starts snapping off like glass, like in I forget which other movie… Gwen’s dad keeps shooting the lizard to bits but no, he’s fine, he’s growing back and he apparently kills Gwen’s dad but there’s ten seconds to detonation and Spidey is on his way so Lizard chases him.
5-4-3-2…lizards grabs Spideys leg! The projectile launches. C/U Evil smile from the Lizard.
But…waitaminit…what.. the Lizard falls..he didn’t like the gas that came from the projectile…it was the antidote! now the whole building is falling over .. Spidey jumps aaaand the Lizard grabs him! Saves him, becos he is cured, he is the good scientist doctor guy again… but he is still half lizard and his arm is tearing as he tries to save Spidey. Man.
1:57 Spidey is saved. Gwen’s father is alive and he gaspingly monologues ‘I was wrong about you Peter…city needs you…people will get hurt…keep Gwen out of it.” He expires. (Sad music)
Cue: Hopeful piano chords) > touching scene with Aunt May and Peter hugging.
Very sad scene w/ Gwen and Peter in the rain.
Back at school…jokin with Flash. Sadness…wait..
Wow! English class teacher – “There are only ten different plots in all of fiction.”
Peter walks in late for class as teacher days: “Wrong. There was only one plot: Who am I?”
Gwen and Pete make up in class and by 2:07 Spidey is back out scouring the rooftops of the city, wow look at that high angle shot. (Spiderman theme music plays.) Wow, Steve Ditko would be proud. (No it doesn’t, not in this movie anyway but this is some terrific Spiderman action, even in 2D, so I can hear it playing.)
Wow, great wall-climbing shot... (Actually it’s fairly typical hero movie music…triumphant-sounding starwarsy heroic kinda stuff….datDahdat-daaaH!) More good action.
Directed by Marc Webb (no relation)
Well that was OK. )
…with Martin Sheen. And Sally Field. Music composed by James Horner (No relation)
WaiT. It’s back on, at 2:09:27 aaaaand done at 2:10:12 a brief set up of the next movie. No spoilers. *
