Dante
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- May 5, 2009
- Messages
- 59
I liked the pace of the story and got a good sense of the main character from that short excerpt. Like the others, I'd say the piece is well-written.
I'm a bit confused though as to why Ma Tirrien has such a heavy accent compared to Mama and the narrator. I would assume they both lived in the same village since Mama's shop seems to be a small local business. If the two had not always lived in the village than this would actually be a good hint as to that fact.
I would've also liked to get a better sense of Mama. Most of what I learn about her is what the narrator projects onto her through her thoughts. If the narrator had not mentioned Mama was a skilled salesman or a sharp listener, those qualities would not have come to my mind as I read.
I'm a bit confused though as to why Ma Tirrien has such a heavy accent compared to Mama and the narrator. I would assume they both lived in the same village since Mama's shop seems to be a small local business. If the two had not always lived in the village than this would actually be a good hint as to that fact.
I would've also liked to get a better sense of Mama. Most of what I learn about her is what the narrator projects onto her through her thoughts. If the narrator had not mentioned Mama was a skilled salesman or a sharp listener, those qualities would not have come to my mind as I read.