Brave New World.

anthorn

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I've just written a brief piece, out of writers block with my other work. I am not sure where I am going with it. Could be either Zombie or Vampire Apocalypse. Just a 1st draft, nothing much.



Brave New World.​
The newspapers were filled with it and the reporters full of it but this time it wasn’t ****. At 9:30 am, on the first Monday of February it was announced world wide that the scientists at Newcastle University had discovered a cure for AIDS. The next week they announced the vaccination, and by October it was available to everyone; or would have been if not for the dictators and corporations. For the most part the news resulted in day and night parties and worldwide celebrations, marred only by the ill-advised comments by some Italian priest that the cure was a sign that God had forgiven the gays for being, well, gay.
Other than this it was the sign of a brave new world, a new era in medicine and science.
By the end of the year humanity was over.
 

Warren_Paul

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Definitely zombies! :D

sounds potential, you should redo it in 1st person with a character's personality and viewpoint.

the character remembering how it all started etc
 

Mouse

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It sounds familiar, isn't this how I am Legend starts? (The film, at least.)
 

Karn Maeshalanadae

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It sounds familiar, isn't this how I am Legend starts? (The film, at least.)

Mouse beat me to the punch on this one. :rolleyes: Except with I Am Legend it was a cure for cancer, not AIDS.


In either case, I think both zombie apocalypse and vampire stuff is being overdone. This has an interesting premise, but whatever happened to post-apocalypse along the lines of The Stand or Mad Max?
 

Hex

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I'm a little concerned about the gap between announcing the cure and producing the vaccine. When I read it I thought -- it took them a week to develop and test a vaccine? How?

Then I realised I was being silly and they obviously already had the vaccine -- but then why wait a week?

Um and also not to be picky, but Newcastle has an massive and excellent medical facility which is regularly involved in clinical tests. The idea that they would produce a poorly tested vaccine that (I assume) does something awful to people within 7-8 months (allowing for the time it would take for things to get worldwide and to give the changed ones an opportunity to kill everyone else) doesn't work for me. Universities do have pressures to make money etc but the pressures are much more intense in industry...

... I'd find it much easier to believe that a company released a poorly tested cure for AIDS onto the world. I'm not saying a university wouldn't, but I think you'd need to come back later in the book and explain the pressures that caused it to happen -- with a company you have: rush to the market to get lots of money (therefore poor testing, fudging of results etc etc) without needing much of a back story.

OK, that's super-picky (sorry) but it was what bothered me.
 

anthorn

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I had actually thought about that, and I had the idea that it was involved in terrorism, with terrorists manipulating the vaccine.
Either that, or the corporations fiddling with it themselves so as they could charge a lot of money for their own cure.

If I continue on with it I am either going to start it. Post Outbreak, as in a few years later.

Or Just After Outbreak. Which would be set in a uk holiday resort.


Zombie pensioners in wheelchairs.
 

Warren_Paul

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I think both zombie apocalypse and vampire stuff is being overdone.


Zombie apocalypse is being over done? I'll have to look around because I have not seen many fiction novels based on zombies at all. I know of like 4.


I was actually tinkering with the idea of one, sci-fi based on another planet.
 

The Judge

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For the most part the news resulted in day and night parties and worldwide celebrations
I don't want to seem callous or anything, but frankly most people are going to care if there's a cure for AIDS since most people, in the Western world at least, aren't affected by it even peripherally. This is not a disease which afflicts everyone nor are most people ever likely to be in danger from it. If you want something which is going to affect everyone you need a disease which is prevalent among all classes of people in all societies.

marred only by the ill-advised comments by some Italian priest that the cure was a sign that God had forgiven the gays for being, well, gay.
Leaving aside the disrespect shown by your wording, and which you might wish to reconsider, this ain't going to happen. That you should even think it shows an incredible lack of understanding of the Catholic church and its attitudes not only to sex and homosexuality but its whole conception of how God operates within the world. It is far more likely that the cure would be denounced and more speeches made about abstinence.

Incidentally, the places where AIDS has the greatest toll are in underdeveloped countries, eg in Africa, where it is largely transmitted by heterosexual contact. So not only is the issue of the Catholic church's attitude to gays irrelevant, but it's another reason why people in the West just aren't that bothered. (I'm not saying that's right or moral, just that's the way it is.)
 

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Just from a business point, getting published, it sounds too similiar to a lot of what has been done before. I would be very surprised if an agent would take this on in its current form, regardless of how good the work is. However Zombie stuff is going to be popular for quite sometime to come. World War Z (its a book, I have read and liked) is being made into a movie, so you're writing is in a very commercial area and will be for a few more years. If you like writing zombie stuff, stick with it. Why do you have to even know where the zombie bug came from, if the world fell apart as a surivor, would you even know. The good thing about a zombie book is that, you can just do zombies, it starts, munch munch, your hero's world is created.

New title as well, Huxley may be dead, oohhh, is he..... arrhhh, run.....
 

HareBrain

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New title as well, Huxley may be dead, oohhh, is he..... arrhhh, run.....

There's no copyright on titles (and in any case it's a quote from The Tempest). But yeah, it does seem unwise to give your story the same name as an existing classic.
 

Vertigo

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I would go with The Judges's comments. Specifically I wouldn't go with AIDS if you want a cure that would stir things up worldwide then make it cancer. After a very tiny bit of googling it would seem AIDS kills around 2 million a year worldwide and cancer around 7.5 million (2008). In fact something like 40% of all premature deaths worldwide are due to cancer.

However I would also go on to say that well meaning biological research that results in an epidemic that will/could wipe out humanity has been done rather too often already. As mentioned above Legend springs to mind but there have been many others.

A slightly different take might be to make the "cure" be genetic, maybe based on some controversial research such as stem cells taken from embryos. Then have that condemned by one or more religions so only those who follow those religions faithfully survive.
 

Mr Turtle

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I've just written a brief piece, out of writers block with my other work. I am not sure where I am going with it. Could be either Zombie or Vampire Apocalypse. Just a 1st draft, nothing much.



Brave New World.​
The newspapers were filled with it and the reporters full of it but this time it wasn’t ****. At 9:30 am, on the first Monday of February it was announced world wide that the scientists at Newcastle University had discovered a cure for AIDS. The next week they announced the vaccination, and by October it was available to everyone; or would have been if not for the dictators and corporations. For the most part the news resulted in day and night parties and worldwide celebrations, marred only by the ill-advised comments by some Italian priest that the cure was a sign that God had forgiven the gays for being, well, gay.
Other than this it was the sign of a brave new world, a new era in medicine and science.
By the end of the year humanity was over.

Apart from the comments already made regarding an AIDs vaccine, you should consider a cure for cancer - although again, the others have already said that borders on a retelling of I am Legend....

Your comment about the gays - that's just offensive, plain and simple. Offensive towards the church, offensive to the gay community, just plain offensive. I can't really put it better than judge did, so I won't try.

You might just be able to get away with it if a character is telling this as a story, but if he (or she) was the main character, I wouldn't read it. I'm sure there are people out there that like reading books where the main characters walk around, offending everybody and being rude, but personally that doesn't float my boat.

Also, I don't understand the comment about dictators and corporations. If you're trying to imply they withheld it from the population, that's cool, but if they did, how did the virus spread so quickly in three months?
 

Bowler1

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I'm back, a bit pooped from all my running....bloody zombie.

I just thought the title was a poor choice, copyright never entered my mind.

I'm off again, ZOMBIES, they just keep coming......
 

Grimbear

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In either case, I think both zombie apocalypse and vampire stuff is being overdone. This has an interesting premise, but whatever happened to post-apocalypse along the lines of The Stand or Mad Max?

Yep - I think you would need some kind of new slant for it to stand out.

On the other hand an empty world is always fun to play with - like in The Stand or Gone.

That would be more interesting - the group dynamics when civilization has broken down etc...Day of the Triffids style.

Or - you could make it a satire or a farce like Christopher Moore.
 

anthorn

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Here it is with changes.


Brave New World.​
“The newspapers were filled with it and the reporters full of it, but this time it wasn’t ****. At 9:30 am, on the first Monday of February, it was announced world wide that the scientists at Newcastle University had discovered a cure for Cancer, and not just any Cancer, all cancer. The next week they announced the vaccination and by October it was available to everyone; or would have been if not for the dictators and corporations. The news resulted in a day and night parties and worldwide celebrations, for they now said Cancer was no more a threat than the common cold. This was the beginning of a brave new world.”
The boy shifted uncomfortably in his fathers arms. Outside the noise was deafening, the sound of fierce winds battering the doors and boarded windows, and the growls of the hungry and desperate. “Why are you telling me this?” he asked.
“Because by the end of the year humanity will be dead,” the father said.
 

Hex

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Hi anthorn -- I do like this idea. How about Alzheimers if you want something different from cancer? (or Parkinson's, since Newcastle are specialists) It wouldn't have much of an effect in the developing world but the 'North' would be happy.

I'm afraid in my opinion the above doesn't sound like someone speaking. Not yet... But I like the idea and I like the way you've made it so direct and immediate.

'Fathers arms' should have an apostrophe -- 'father's arms' (the arms belonging to the father)

@anthorn again -- I don't really read this kind of thing. I loved 'I am Legend' (the book) but only got half way through World War Z. So I don't know. I would think there'd still be space for an individual twist on it -- I believe zombies are still very... er... sexy (ick).
 
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anthorn

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okay, thanks. Yeah Alzheimers could be an idea. Same with Cancer they would give injections based on probably chances of catching it.

Yeah. I have been thinking of keeping it much more local. Probably would be best. Not many novels let alone zombie novels set in the north east of england.

Do you think the just after infection has been done to death?
 

Mouse

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Brave New World.​
“The newspapers were filled with it and the reporters full of it, but this time it wasn’t ****. how old is the boy he's talking to, to be using a curse word? At 9:30 am, on the first Monday of February, this is very specific, but then why is no year mentioned? it was announced world wide that the scientists at Newcastle University had discovered a cure for Cancer, and not just any Cancer, all cancer probably don't need a capital C. The next week they announced the vaccination and by October it was available to everyone; or would have been if not for the dictators and corporations. The news resulted in a day and night parties (24 hour parties would be less clunky maybe?) and worldwide celebrations, for they now said Cancer was no more a threat than the common cold. This was the beginning of a brave new world.”
The boy shifted uncomfortably in his father's arms. Outside the noise was deafening, the sound of fierce winds battering the doors and boarded windows, and the growls of the hungry and desperate. “Why are you telling me this?” he asked.
“Because by the end of the year humanity will be dead,” the (his?) father said.

I agree with Hex in that the first bit doesn't sound like dialogue.

I don't mind zombie stories. Yeah, there's a lot of them but there's a lot of everything. But cancer and the whole vaccination thing is still a tad too close to I am Legend for my liking.

Making it a local thing would be cool though. Have you ever seen the film Doghouse? It's a comedy, but might be worth checking out as it's about zombies in only one very small area of England (and they're all female zombies!).

I've written a zombie story myself (in May December's Hell Hath no Fury anthology) and that contains very localised zombies too.
 

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