Thanks for the feedback and I'm sorry to have caused offence, that certainly wasn't my intention.Add me to those who were totally lost by "blood book." I had the idea that it was a kind of cage match to the death, no holds barred, warrior thing. I thought the main character was going to move up the rankings in some kind of sports statistics. (Maybe that should have implied gambling to me?) ---- On the whole I felt your work was a little short of being a story, and I was appalled by the picture of someone fighting with a chainsaw. It was a picture I did not want in my head.
Here's a summary as I wanted to convey:Shot studied the dossier. Stabbed had apparently gone rogue. The mission: terminate with extreme prejudice.
In Istanbul, Stabbed's last known sighting, Shot headed for the safe house. Evidence of activity, but no Stabbed. Same story in Casablanca and Moscow.
On entering the Paris hideaway, the intense aroma of Stabbed's favoured Gauloises hit Shot just before the blackjack.
Shot awoke, trussed up, head pounding.
"Sorry partner." Stabbed unsheathed her stiletto. "Seems we have the same mission."
Personally, as you state at the end, I don't think it went wrong at all . I think it's best to challenge yourself with these competitions - and if votes and mentions come along, then that's a nice bonus.Where Did It All Go Wrong?
What could/should I have changed to garner more mentions/shortlists/votes?
Curses! You sussed me out. I confess it.I really didn't like "Shot" and "Stabbed" as names for the characters...So it appeared to me you were using the name "Shot" simply to ensure you came within the theme
That did occur to me, but I went with it anyway because of the cliche that all good Bond villains always explain their motives first when it would be so much easier to kill him straightaway.why does she blackjack him and truss him up first instead of killing him at once?
These two things, for me. The names annoyed me, and there wasn't any of the theme without them. Otherwise, yes, the story structure was great!
- I really didn't like "Shot" and "Stabbed" as names for the characters; even as code names they fell short for me -- something like "Glock" and "Stiletto" would surely make more sense if they were named for their favourite weapons. So it appeared to me you were using the name "Shot" simply to ensure you came within the theme, which put me off.
- if we eliminate the name "Shot" then I can't see the theme there at all, so for me that needed to be brought out a lot more eg shooting, or taking photographs.
No, that would be fan fiction from Men in Black.I remember reading my Dad's copies. As it happens I was back home recently and they're still there, mainly from the 1960s. Must get them valued.
Maybe I should have called my protagonists Agent Black and Agent White
No need to be generic -- most any names will do, but they sort of need to be ...well... names. If you see what I mean. This was like naming chefs Avocado and Mushroom or something. Placeholder-ish.* Note to self. In future stick to Smith and Jones
I would agree, there could be some value there. A lot of us found them to be hilarious back in the day.I remember reading my Dad's copies. As it happens I was back home recently and they're still there, mainly from the 1960s. Must get them valued.
My, aren't we testy? Actually back then they probably sold for $.50 or a $1.00. I don't know, I never bought any, but I did ream them in the rooms of my dorm mates. (Yes, I am older than dirt!)If those Spy vs Spy books were read anything like mine were, the value is approximately 37 cents.
Err... testy? I meant that my brothers and I read ours to death, just like all the comic books, so they're too worn out to be worth anything to a collector. Alas for the #6 Spider-Man comic book and its compatriots, and all the Peanuts books. We loved them too well.My, aren't we testy? Actually back then they probably sold for $.50 or a $1.00. I don't know, I never bought any, but I did ream them in the rooms of my dorm mates. (Yes, I am older than dirt!)