I thought this one fitted better in this thread than the standard commenting one (and you were hoping it would drop off the bottom of the list, and out of people's thoughts, weren't you?)
My muse was over enthusiastic with suggestions this time, and so I wrote each one up:–
“We were lucky to find that channel”
Even if I agreed totally with Her Diplomacy, I had heard this a thousand times already. I was struggling, not with my new body, with which I had been training for cycles, but with the bizarre accoutrements that surrounded it. If one had to be a biped, and on this planet that seemed the only option, much as I would have appreciated being a dog, why add complications to an already fraught balance ?
We’d turned the ship towards this planet when radio waves coming from it indicated it had reached a level of technology interesting for an interstellar trader; when a race develops television, they are ripe for exploitation. When the flux lowered, as it almost always does as more sophisticated techniques replace pure brute power, we knew the orbit, and our drone flew ahead of us, ready to relay the new information when it attached itself to one of their satellites.
While it flew we investigated the signals we had recorded, worked out how to decode their images, found colour values by spectroscopic analysis of their atmosphere, prepared.
Then it was there and new information poured in; but this one channel, with slightly different coding, had proved the jackpot – simplicity in action, low diversity and high repetivity of dialogue, clear veiws of both how the bodies looked, and how they functioned. Probably, we estimated, a training course for juveniles.
It is always wise to send a forward scout before revealing the presence of the ship itself, and I, in this new body and having been saturated with the training film, existed for that. They’d never notice me, precisely copying both the costumes and the actions they’d been transmitting.
I watched a final episode as I fitted the body and its accessories into the custom-built lander, before the screen brought up the final, cryptic symbols :
CERTIFICATE XXX.
And then, cut it down till it fit…
We had been lucky to find the channel.
Actions simplified, vocabulary reduced while able to see exactly how the body I wore would look, move. Probably an instruction program for youngsters, it met our requirements exactly.
I watched one last episode while loading myself and accessories into the stealthed landing craft.
They’d never detect me, I’d practiced continuously.
Episode ended, the usual cryptic message :
XXX RATED
I didn't mention it though because almost every piece has been worth mentioning and I am too lazy for that! I am however considering my top five. Considering, considering....
