No-Life....it started off as a short story, throw in Half Life 2 and you got...

Swilly

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Jan 12, 2010
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something...its four chapters so far and I've been trying to avoid making this seem like a fan-fic. It's set near City 04, or what used to be Philadelphia. The main characters, except for the Vortigaunt, are REAL people. The main character is myself, egotistical but I constantly bash myself down to an extent so I'm figuring I could at least give it a shot. That and since September that mutual friend has been haunting my dreams EVERY FRICKIN' night, but I digress. I was looking for a book that was similar to Half Life when I found that random thread from a guy looking for a story similar to Half Life....this is my response to the books my school tried to shove down my throat and suffocate me with. I need critiques, this is first rough draft, so I'm attempting to get the storyline down before I move on to grammar and functionality. I would post the link, but I need 15 posts -_-, send me a message if you want to take a look....
 

The Judge

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I confess to being mystified as to what Half Life is, or was (please - no need to explain) but I did understand your final two sentences.

If you want your work critiqued, tidy it up and post about 350-500 words in the critiques forum HAVING READ THE STICKIES FIRST. If you don't want people to critique your grammar/spelling/punctuation etc, you will need to say so, because otherwise if there are flaws they will be pointed out. (They might be pointed out even if you do say so -- we're not known for taking direction!)

If your work appeals to people, you may well find someone willing to take a look at the whole of what you have written.

J
 

Sapheron

Making no sense.
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To enlighten you, your honour, I can betray the secret that Half Life is a video game franchise. Quite a famous and popular one, in fact.

Anywho, besides that I can't offer much more. Follow advise given above.
 

The Judge

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To enlighten you, your honour, I can betray the secret that Half Life is a video game franchise. Quite a famous and popular one, in fact.

And there was me thinking it was something to do with radioactive isotopes and carbon dating. Such a lack of basic education what I have had.

J
 

Xelah

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And there was me thinking it was something to do with radioactive isotopes and carbon dating. Such a lack of basic education what I have had.

J

If it helps, the protagonist's "day job" involved that sort of stuff... before the black mesa incident ended civilization as we know it.
 

TheEndIsNigh

...Prepare Thyself
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And there was me thinking it was something to do with radioactive isotopes and carbon dating. Such a lack of basic education what I have had.

J

Carbon dating - Is that the opposite of speed dating J.

I too am mystified. I assume it's one of those platform games where the frog has to jump onto the lily pads to get across the pond :)
 

dustinzgirl

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Apr 28, 2005
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Half-life is one of the best games ever. I love that game. I don't like fan fiction.

Also, playing video games before you go to bed makes you dream of them. Try cutting down on your hours of play.

Also, you can post an excerpt of your story here if you would like to share it and have comments given. Most of us aren't going to go to an external link to read a story when you can just post it here. We are not that full of initiative or ambition.
 

Sapheron

Making no sense.
Joined
Nov 9, 2006
Messages
850
Ah, there are more gamers than me here after all. Excellent.

Judge: Carbon is for pansies. Its half life is only a few thousand years. Crap like Uranium, Thorium, Potassium; that's where the real scientists go. Of course, by real scientists, I mean geologists, and geology is essentially the science of getting drunk and then pretending to find deep meaning in the properties of rocks, but that doesn't make me any less of a scientist at heart.
 

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