Hey guys. This is my first ever forum post but about the 5th version of my chapter. Ive only put the beggining in but please have a read through and give me some advice on where i can improve. Any comments welcome XD Cheers
Marcus woke with a jolt. Bear stood in the doorway, the moonlight pouring in through the open door.
“It is time” he said. Marcus swiftly rose, collecting his dagger and bow from the back of his room. He followed Bear out into the moonlight and breathed in the crisp, night air. From his rooftop shack, Marcus looked into the night sky and prayed to whatever gods kept him safe to watch over him tonight. He looked to the North towards the wall around Cerdas’ middle class housing and markets. The silence of the night would soon be broken. Bear slid down the ladder to the ground. Marcus followed quickly and was immediately hit by the stench of the slums open sewers and rotting landscape. Bear led him uphill towards the wall and to the edge of a small courtyard by the gate. Marcus could see others now. More and more men hiding in the shadows and around street corners, waiting for the signal. Marcus drew his bow and knocked an arrow.
A few minutes later, a large man strode out of the shadows and headed towards the gate. In his hand he held a long sword. Immediately the guards drew their weapons and prepared to defend themselves. The man tapped his long sword on the ground three times and all hell broke loose. Marcus fired his arrow, along with many others who then charged through the gate and into the city. Marcus drew his dagger and followed. He was almost surprised by how many men had come. He knew the White Dogs clan was big but this was nearly a thousand men! Bandit, the leader of the White Dogs, had done a good job of convincing people to join them in their conquest for Cerdas. Bandit, the man with the long sword, shouted orders and directions for different groups of men. Marcus was about to follow the closest group to him but as he turned to follow them, a strong hand gripped his shoulder. He turned to see Bandit grinning at him.
“Now boy, how good is your aim?”
Wolf smiled a wolfish grin. The chaos caused by the White Dogs uprising was extremely entertaining. In the few hours since their attack had started, they had taken the middle class section and were on their way to attack the Governor’s house in the centre of Cerdas. The large mansion had high walls and only one entrance for the Dogs. Inside was a large courtyard where the available town’s guards had positioned themselves. Wolf had perched on a roof just by the walls and had a perfect view of the scene below. From within the darkness of the streets, a man shouted the charge and the Dogs poured into the courtyard. The Dogs crashed into the Guards line and brutal conflict began. Slowly the Dogs pushed forward but they paid heavily for each step they took. As the guard’s line reached the steps to the front entrance of the Mansion, the door opened and a robed man stepped out. The doors closed eerily behind him. In the chaos, a Dog fired an arrow above the guards and it flew straight towards the robed man. Instead of ripping through the man’s flesh, the arrow halted in midair just in front of the man. The fighting stopped and the Dogs took a step back. The robed man pulled back his hood and smiled arrogantly. Wolf sensed an unnatural disturbance in the air. All of a sudden, fire exploded from the robed man, flying directly into the awestruck Dogs. Panic resumed as some Dogs ran and others charged. The addition of a Mage to the Guards defences had shaken the Dogs’ morale. However, Wolf could tell the mage was a weak one. After his initial outburst, the Mage had backed down, reducing his attacks to one or two feeble fireballs every few minutes and deflecting incoming arrows with a shield.
Then Wolf spotted what he’d been looking for all along. Bandit raised his sword high and shouted a battle cry. The Dogs immediately rallied to his call and took up the charge. The guards were pushed back a little more until the Mage released another outburst of fire, killing many Dogs and regaining their lost ground in seconds. Wolf picked up his bow and readied an arrow. Before Wolf could fire, Bandit raised his sword and pointed to the rooftop opposite Wolf. Puzzled, Wolf glanced over and spotted a boy, slim build with dark hair, no more than seventeen, crouching on the rooftop with a bow. He was aiming at the Mage! Wolf almost laughed aloud at the feeble attempt. Wolf returned his aim to Bandit but as he did silence crept over the chaotic scene. Wolf looked towards the Mage and gasped. An arrow was protruding from his chest. Wolf looked back towards the rooftop with the boy on but there was no one there. The Mage slumped to the ground and the Dogs let out a cheer. However, instead of pressing forward, Bandit shouted orders to pull back. Swiftly the Dogs fled into the streets and alleyways outside the mansion and Wolf lost sight of Bandit. He cursed, picked up his gear and began to pursue the retreating Dogs. However, all he could think about was how the boy had managed to get his shot through the mage’s shield. Something wasn’t right here and Wolf was sure he’d get to the bottom of it.
Marcus woke with a jolt. Bear stood in the doorway, the moonlight pouring in through the open door.
“It is time” he said. Marcus swiftly rose, collecting his dagger and bow from the back of his room. He followed Bear out into the moonlight and breathed in the crisp, night air. From his rooftop shack, Marcus looked into the night sky and prayed to whatever gods kept him safe to watch over him tonight. He looked to the North towards the wall around Cerdas’ middle class housing and markets. The silence of the night would soon be broken. Bear slid down the ladder to the ground. Marcus followed quickly and was immediately hit by the stench of the slums open sewers and rotting landscape. Bear led him uphill towards the wall and to the edge of a small courtyard by the gate. Marcus could see others now. More and more men hiding in the shadows and around street corners, waiting for the signal. Marcus drew his bow and knocked an arrow.
A few minutes later, a large man strode out of the shadows and headed towards the gate. In his hand he held a long sword. Immediately the guards drew their weapons and prepared to defend themselves. The man tapped his long sword on the ground three times and all hell broke loose. Marcus fired his arrow, along with many others who then charged through the gate and into the city. Marcus drew his dagger and followed. He was almost surprised by how many men had come. He knew the White Dogs clan was big but this was nearly a thousand men! Bandit, the leader of the White Dogs, had done a good job of convincing people to join them in their conquest for Cerdas. Bandit, the man with the long sword, shouted orders and directions for different groups of men. Marcus was about to follow the closest group to him but as he turned to follow them, a strong hand gripped his shoulder. He turned to see Bandit grinning at him.
“Now boy, how good is your aim?”
* * *
Then Wolf spotted what he’d been looking for all along. Bandit raised his sword high and shouted a battle cry. The Dogs immediately rallied to his call and took up the charge. The guards were pushed back a little more until the Mage released another outburst of fire, killing many Dogs and regaining their lost ground in seconds. Wolf picked up his bow and readied an arrow. Before Wolf could fire, Bandit raised his sword and pointed to the rooftop opposite Wolf. Puzzled, Wolf glanced over and spotted a boy, slim build with dark hair, no more than seventeen, crouching on the rooftop with a bow. He was aiming at the Mage! Wolf almost laughed aloud at the feeble attempt. Wolf returned his aim to Bandit but as he did silence crept over the chaotic scene. Wolf looked towards the Mage and gasped. An arrow was protruding from his chest. Wolf looked back towards the rooftop with the boy on but there was no one there. The Mage slumped to the ground and the Dogs let out a cheer. However, instead of pressing forward, Bandit shouted orders to pull back. Swiftly the Dogs fled into the streets and alleyways outside the mansion and Wolf lost sight of Bandit. He cursed, picked up his gear and began to pursue the retreating Dogs. However, all he could think about was how the boy had managed to get his shot through the mage’s shield. Something wasn’t right here and Wolf was sure he’d get to the bottom of it.
