mickaelx99
New Member
- Joined
- May 2, 2009
- Messages
- 3
Requiem Of Sin
My past was filled with horror. It was a never-ceasing nightmare that I could never wake up from. Day after day, the sins of my past would be remembered, and everyday would be like having a dark shadow lingering over me. Whenever I would look up to the heavens for support or forgiveness, I would once again be devoured by my subconscious, telling me that what I did would not go without punishment. For the longest time, I was trapped in a state where self-inflicted pain would be the only thing keeping me sane, or somewhat at least. The finale to my darkened days was a grim one, and was filled with torment, dipped in a cold-blooded fear. It's a story I have to tell -- to end the hellish storm raging inside of me. Hate. Violence. Pain. All features of my rebirth, and my quest for self-liberation in my darkest hour...
.::Six Months Ago::.
I stared out of my window. It had been raining for two weeks straight. Thunder. Lightning. Rain. It was anything but pleasant for most people. For me, it didn't matter. My contract in CWX had just expired, and thus, I was always at home -- stuck in my dirty, broken-walled apartment for hours on end. I had hardly any food in the cupboards, no television, no computer -- only a dirty mattress in the corner, my modified Bowflex with an assortment of blades attached to it, and of course, my knives, scattered all over my blood-stained floor.
I gazed towards one of the knives -- stared at it, gazing into its reflection and half my face being mirrored in its blade. I had specially modified the handle of that knife by using another blade I had thrown away shortly after. The date: 06-22-09 was carved into the wooden handle of the knife. My eyes now gazed at the date, locking onto it and not letting go. It pained me, like a burning sensation now inflamed my irises. I tried to look away, and move my eyes to a different location -- the wall, my mattress, anything -- but alas, my eyes kept on finding a way to zone right back onto the date, zooming in on it, keeping focus.
"Stop..." I muttered to myself, trying to close my eyes. I tried with all the might I could muster in my eyes to close them, and did for about a second. Then, however, my eyes would reopen yet again, and find themselves gazing at the date. "Please... stop," I said again, but it didn't work; I began to remember the date. Images began to flash into my mind.
A single tear dripped from my right eye and rolled down my cheek onto my blood-stained floor.
_______________________________________________________
Roses. So many of them. All of which were burning. Their petals flew in the air, while on fire, and littered the sky in flames. It was a peaceful place. At least, it -was-. In the country with only a few guests. One of which was me. A wedding. My sister, Natasha, and her would-be husband, The Necro Newborn, engaged -- about to be wed in holy matrimony. I, of course, could never allow anything like that to happen.
The echoing of gun fire rattled my eardrums. The high-pitch screams of my family members were heard from all around. I ran back into that church, knowing everything had gone wrong. My debt had not been paid. I didn't know how they had figured it out, but now, my whole life was getting turned upside down. Like a transformation was ensuing.
"Stop! Please stop!" I screamed, as I could see a sight that has haunted me since. Everyone covered in blood on the floor. A few mob members holding their guns in their hands, lightning up cigarettes, and blasting away at the fallen, just barely-living people. My sister, Natasha, lied on the floor, blood soaking her wedding gown. The Necro Newborn, her would-be husband, clutching his chest in pain, and then falling to the floor. Believe me, I thought he was dead.
"Next time... don't **** with us," one of the mob members said, taking a glorious puff of his cigarette. "You **** with one of us, and you're going to sent to hell."
"Then kill me! I can't live like this!" I wanted death at that moment. Believe me, I wanted death more than you could possibly imagine. I wanted to be shot over and over again, have bullet enter and escape me, experience the pain that I deserved.
"No, Mike... don't die..." I turned my head and could see my sister, just barely standing, trying to say something. My jaw nearly dropped. "I don't want you to di--" and just like that, the shells dropped to the floor, and she was decorated in bullet holes. Each shot rattled her. More blood exploding from her body, drenching the already painted-red-in-blood walls in even more bloody paint. I cried out in vain once again. My screams escaped my lips, and have never left me to this day.
"Stop! Please stop!" but they continued to fire. She was dead before she hit the floor. I screamed again, despite knowing it was too late. "Stop! Please stop!"
________________________________________________________
"PLEASE STOP!" I gazed at the knife in my right hand, and my now lacerated left arm. I held the knife tightly, squeezing it with all I could muster. Yet, I didn't feel any better. The same sadness-driven madness that I always felt. My blood dripped from the knife and onto the floor. A bloody floor. Like the one on that day so long ago.
I dropped the knife, and stood up straight. My eyes felt heavy. I needed rest. I was beginning to feel worse than I ever had in my life -- lately, my pity had become even more hate-driven, and the memories were rising from the dead, despite being buried in my mind for so long.
"I have to end this," I said. "**** sleep. **** my one rule about living with this. It is time I finally die. No career. No passion. No life. All of it -- wasted. To hell with all of it. To hell with my life!" I dropped to my knees where a small chest was. Opened it with my two hands and took out something I had been saving for when the pain became too much. For when I needed it the most. For when my time to end my miserable excuse for a life had finally come. My revolver. Loaded with a single bullet. Its polished shine glistened with energy. Glistened with a false hope.
"It's time... to pay for my sins," I stood up, holding the gun in both of my hands, and stared down at it. Imagining where I would go once I was gone. Heaven would never condole my actions, and its gate would never open. Hell would have no caged inferno that could contain me. I would be trapped in-between this world and purgatory for all eternity. At least then my past would never haunt me. I would return to the place where my insanity began. Roam the spot where the sea of roses and a church used to be. I would be trapped there -- trapped in a mindless, yet impossible-to-escape from place where my sorrow would die.
I put the gun to my head.
"I can't take it anymore. For the last time -- Natasha, May, everyone, I am so sorry for what I let happen to all of you. Your father, if you remember him, Kyle -- was a weak man. Don't grow up to be like him. Be stronger than that, wherever you are," I said, hoping my final few words would somehow find their way to the people I had failed and let down. To the people I had let die on that fateful day. They were all changed. Contorted. Everything.
I began to squeeze the trigger...
_________________________________________________________
I had a dream the night after the wedding massacre. A single body rose from the rubble. Surrounded by bodies of the dead, this one faceless man began to rise. I never saw what he really looked like. I only saw powerful sparking tears escape his silhouette face and light up the abyss from behind him, exposing more blood on the walls, and more bodies. He began to whisper her name.
"Natasha... where are you? Natasha?" he ran through the rubble, tripping over bodies and other debris. The sparkling tears still escaping his face. "Where are you? Please be okay!"
The man stumbled for what seemed like hours until he finally found who he was looking for, oddly enough, close to where he first rose from the ashes. He fell to his knees, and held up her bloodied right hand in his left. Slowly, he began to shake his head, and mumble a few worthless words to a body that no longer had a beating heart.
"I will always love you!" he held her tight. Not letting go. "I remember when I first saw you. Whips and leather, bah, I saw right through what you tried to be and saw the real you. You were never a dominatrix at an S&M club, you were meant for me! You promised to keep me in line... I should have done that for you. With you gone... I am dead!!" he roared loudly, letting the whole countryside hear his words.
And he dropped her hand...
"I promise, my love. I promise you, that what happened here today will not go without justice. How can they do this to you?!" and he fell to the ground, breaking out in more tears, letting it all escape him. No longer did he feel sane or capable. He felt broken and alone.
He stayed there for awhile, but in due time, the fire department, ambulances, and police arrived. They nearly dragged his body away from her as he held on, refusing to let go.
"Sir, I know it's tough, but we have to clear the area. You have to be checked out, you have been shot."
"Don't leave her alone!"
They began to pull him away. He lost his grasp.
"I have nothing left! Nothing!"
_________________________________________________________
My door opened, just as I began to press down on the trigger. I was greeted by a dark silhouette of a man. The same man I had seen in my dream so long ago, the night after what I had witnessed.
"You're not the only one with nothing left," there he was. The Necro Newborn staring at me, right as I was about to leave the world that had given me nothing but sorrow and grief. My eyes widened, and my mouth hung open. "Put the gun down, Park."
"It's not fair," I cried, shaking the gun in my hand now, too afraid to pull the trigger all-of-a-sudden. "It was over. It was about to end. Everything. Why, Necro? Why now? Why, when I have finally had enough, you return. Why, when my vessel to leave this world was ready to set sail... you... you return?"
"I want to help you. Put the gun down," he said, moving in closer. Tears began to roll down my eyes now, as the gun continued to rattle in my hand, making hard for me to concentrate. "Please, Mike! I know what you've been through!"
"NO YOU DON'T!" I screamed, now pointing the gun straight at Necro's head, as he was only a few feet away from me. "You son of a bitch! You're the reason I asked for help from the mob! You're the reason all of this **** happened! If it were never for you, I wouldn't be here. I would be with May and away from these four walls I call an existence! I should do what I wanted done so long ago!"
I aimed the gun right at his forehead. I wanted to end what should have been done that day. I wanted to end his life after what I had let him do to my wife. I wasn't going to let him marry my sister. After all that had happened -- it all came down to this. One single shot.
"Park, before you pull the trigger, there is something you should know," he said, in the calmest voice imaginable.
"Shut up. Shut up!" I cried.
"I went through the same thing as you, but someone came to see me. She helped me change. She made me a better person. I was feeling pain for so long, Mike. I know, what happened on that day killed us all inside," he said, coming in closer.
"I'm more dead than anyone. I can't be changed. I CAN'T!" I roared, as the gun began to shake in my hands, preventing myself from getting a clear shot. It wasn't letting me finally end what I had let happen.
"Mike, do you want to see her?" he asked.
I said nothing. I dared not to speak. But as I finally positioned my shot again, and prepared to pull the trigger, she walked in. Her black hair was captivating. Her face looked airbrushed. Her blue eyes glowed in the darkness, providing a pure light. A pure hope. She entered the room. My long lost wife who I hadn't seen in close to a year. May Tain.
"Mike... I'm so sorry I wasn't there."
_________________________________________________________
"Go wait in the car, Kyle," I said to my son, taking one last look at him as he headed towards May's blue caravan. I stared into her eyes and she stared into mine. In the distance, on the old country road, we both stood for the last time, together, as one.
"What happened, Mike?" she asked me. We weren't under the best terms. If nothing had happened at the church, then chances were that a divorce was imminent. Her red and green dress looked wonderful on her, and her black hair blew in the wind. I stared down at her feet that were placed in black high heels. I couldn't bring myself to look her in the eye. "What happened?"
As it the blood all over my clothes wasn't enough. Only an hour ago, I had called her from the country house that Kyle and I were staying at and told May to come right away, and to be expecting Kyle to live with her for awhile. Our relationship, once flawless, had become one giant cluster ****.
"I'm sorry, May," I finally said, shaking my head. "I'm sorry I let him do that to you."
"That's done with, Mike. What's done is done. The past is the past. What happened? What happened just now? Why did you call me out here? It's such a long drive," her words were crisp and beautiful. Even on a day like this, I could never forget her and why I loved her. Everything about her... so perfect.
"I'm going away for a long time. Forever, actually. I can't live like this anymore. I can't, not after what I had let happen," I said, digging into my pocket, just before May could ask once again, 'what happened?'.
I took a single rose out of my pocket. It was a bit burnt, but still as beautiful as the woman before my very eyes. I placed it into her hands and finally gazed her in the eye. Tears forming in mine.
"I will always love you. Remember me, May. Don't come looking for me. I won't be the same."
I could still remember the look on her face. Her own tears rolling down her cheek. Sparkling as the setting-sun brought them to life. I longed to see her again, but I turned my back to her. I could remember her last words so clearly too. Even today, like I had just heard them moments ago...
"I'm sorry, Mike. I'm sorry I wasn't there."
_________________________________________________________
I stared at May, standing along side the man who I had seen rape her while she was being sold for sex in Mexico. Why was this happening? I dropped my gun, and it fell to the floor, nearly breaking through the poorly-built wood. I began to shake my head slowly, and walk towards her, each step becoming so hard to take.
"May... I... I missed you. I just want it all to end. Look at me!" I pointed to my pale face, and waked towards her. I nearly fell to my knees, but kept on moving towards her. "I want to be free of all of this!"
"I know, Mike. I know," she said, as I could no longer stand. I was too tired to keep on going. I fell to the floor. Dizzy. Fatigued. Hungry. Thirsty. Hurting. Crying. Everything, it all came at me from about fifty different angles. I could remember May dropping to her knees and looking up at me, staring into my green eyes, while her blue ones gave me a bit of strength and hope.
"We're getting you to a hospital. You're going to be alright! I promise you, I am not going to let you die!" she turned towards Necro. I began to become deaf, but I could read her lips, just before I passed out completely from the pain and sudden shock of all that had happened. "Can you move him?"
I could remember being picked up by my long-time foe and nemesis. I could remember having my whole word spin faster and faster, round and round, over and over. My eyes rolled into the back of my head, and all I could see was white. My heart began to beat faster and faster, thumping and thumping. My life was in their hands now, and in a way, it felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I was now free. Free, after such a long time of enduring misery and having a forsaken past creep throughout my mind. It was only when I was about to lose even more, that I finally felt home, and away from what had caused my life to spiral out of control and enter the abyss.
My hungering for self-sacrifice was no more.
Sins... now cleansed.
Requiem Of Sin: Epilogue
I had been locked in a room for hours. I stared up at the ceiling above and its infinite number of white plastered dots. I did not blink, nor move; I just lied there, like I was waiting for something to happen. Aside from staring up at the ceiling, I realized that I recognized this room, or at least, some parts of it. Many of the items in the room: a nightstand, a tall mirror, some out-of-place clothes -- they belonged to someone I knew for a long, long time. May, my wife. And I was lying on her bed, sunk into the mattress, without any sense of reason or meaning. Just a few hours ago, I was finally going to do it: end my miserable excuse for a life after all the sins I had committed. I could remember holding a gun to my head and preparing to pull the trigger, awaiting to enter a new dimension and embrace a new existence. Yet, once again, I found myself drawn out of it by an unexpected force. She had returned for me, and alongside her was the man who had caused me to commit the sins that never left me and circled my head for days on end, breaking me down and drowning me in a sea blood.
My blood.
My blood bled black for six long months. The scars on my arms, legs, everywhere, they were all caused by my craving punishment. Craving atonement and release. Trying to bleed out the past. Yet, here I was, lying on her bed with her voice echoing in my head. It was her. She had returned once again.
"They say you're going to be okay. I... I brought you something," I looked up at her and smiled at her grace, her purity. Her black hair with a thread of golden-blonde highlights captivated me -- made me feel like I was dreaming. But alas, I couldn't bring myself to smile around her, not ever. My lips returned to their hollow expression. "They say you need to eat, though," and she placed a tray with a plate of fruit on my lap along with a glass of water. It all looked so colourful when compared to the greyness that surrounded the room I was in. "Well, eat up."
I didn't say anything back to her. I just stared at the tray and the food she had prepared for me. The fruit had been cleaned in the sink, as tiny drops of water dripped from the top of the fruit and onto the plate. The water in the glass looked so clean and clear. It was pure.
"Pure..." I whispered just enough for her to hear. She looked me in the eye, and for the first time in what seemed like an eternity, we gazed into each other's soul, seeking out hope. Her blue eyes only made my partly-green black eyes open wider. I began to think back to how things once were, and the first time we had met, so very long ago...
_________________________________________________________
The children played in the park. Running throughout the sand-filled playground, going up and down slides and pushing each other on swings. The sun beamed in the sky with its own charismatic shine and uniqueness. The clouds were formidably full of grace and wonder. I had returned home after a hectic work week. I was a rookie in the world of wrestling, but found myself steadily gaining popularity and drawing fans. It was a better time for me, though -- well-known, yet I didn't have everyone come up to me and say, 'hey, didn't I see you on TV last night?'. It was a time where I could still be that little boy who wanted to be like his father before him and make it big. Have dreams. Not needing to fulfil them no matter the cost. Some dreams... turn to nightmares.
As I walked on the recently-watered grass, enjoying a walk on my day off, I could notice someone looking at me. Maybe even... staring at me. Eyeing me carefully. Checking me out. I stopped walking for a moment and turned my head towards one of the park benches where a woman sat, gazing at me from afar. Her black hair, air-brushed face, and smile of serenity not only brought me near, but they were what attracted me further.
She waved towards me, in such a sense that she wanted me to go and see her. I slowly raised my right hand into the air, still in awe while looking on at her seemingly endless majestic attributes. The way her hair blew in the wind. The way she crossed her legs. Everything. It was all-consuming.
Everything about her... so...
My past was filled with horror. It was a never-ceasing nightmare that I could never wake up from. Day after day, the sins of my past would be remembered, and everyday would be like having a dark shadow lingering over me. Whenever I would look up to the heavens for support or forgiveness, I would once again be devoured by my subconscious, telling me that what I did would not go without punishment. For the longest time, I was trapped in a state where self-inflicted pain would be the only thing keeping me sane, or somewhat at least. The finale to my darkened days was a grim one, and was filled with torment, dipped in a cold-blooded fear. It's a story I have to tell -- to end the hellish storm raging inside of me. Hate. Violence. Pain. All features of my rebirth, and my quest for self-liberation in my darkest hour...
.::Six Months Ago::.
I stared out of my window. It had been raining for two weeks straight. Thunder. Lightning. Rain. It was anything but pleasant for most people. For me, it didn't matter. My contract in CWX had just expired, and thus, I was always at home -- stuck in my dirty, broken-walled apartment for hours on end. I had hardly any food in the cupboards, no television, no computer -- only a dirty mattress in the corner, my modified Bowflex with an assortment of blades attached to it, and of course, my knives, scattered all over my blood-stained floor.
I gazed towards one of the knives -- stared at it, gazing into its reflection and half my face being mirrored in its blade. I had specially modified the handle of that knife by using another blade I had thrown away shortly after. The date: 06-22-09 was carved into the wooden handle of the knife. My eyes now gazed at the date, locking onto it and not letting go. It pained me, like a burning sensation now inflamed my irises. I tried to look away, and move my eyes to a different location -- the wall, my mattress, anything -- but alas, my eyes kept on finding a way to zone right back onto the date, zooming in on it, keeping focus.
"Stop..." I muttered to myself, trying to close my eyes. I tried with all the might I could muster in my eyes to close them, and did for about a second. Then, however, my eyes would reopen yet again, and find themselves gazing at the date. "Please... stop," I said again, but it didn't work; I began to remember the date. Images began to flash into my mind.
A single tear dripped from my right eye and rolled down my cheek onto my blood-stained floor.
_______________________________________________________
Roses. So many of them. All of which were burning. Their petals flew in the air, while on fire, and littered the sky in flames. It was a peaceful place. At least, it -was-. In the country with only a few guests. One of which was me. A wedding. My sister, Natasha, and her would-be husband, The Necro Newborn, engaged -- about to be wed in holy matrimony. I, of course, could never allow anything like that to happen.
The echoing of gun fire rattled my eardrums. The high-pitch screams of my family members were heard from all around. I ran back into that church, knowing everything had gone wrong. My debt had not been paid. I didn't know how they had figured it out, but now, my whole life was getting turned upside down. Like a transformation was ensuing.
"Stop! Please stop!" I screamed, as I could see a sight that has haunted me since. Everyone covered in blood on the floor. A few mob members holding their guns in their hands, lightning up cigarettes, and blasting away at the fallen, just barely-living people. My sister, Natasha, lied on the floor, blood soaking her wedding gown. The Necro Newborn, her would-be husband, clutching his chest in pain, and then falling to the floor. Believe me, I thought he was dead.
"Next time... don't **** with us," one of the mob members said, taking a glorious puff of his cigarette. "You **** with one of us, and you're going to sent to hell."
"Then kill me! I can't live like this!" I wanted death at that moment. Believe me, I wanted death more than you could possibly imagine. I wanted to be shot over and over again, have bullet enter and escape me, experience the pain that I deserved.
"No, Mike... don't die..." I turned my head and could see my sister, just barely standing, trying to say something. My jaw nearly dropped. "I don't want you to di--" and just like that, the shells dropped to the floor, and she was decorated in bullet holes. Each shot rattled her. More blood exploding from her body, drenching the already painted-red-in-blood walls in even more bloody paint. I cried out in vain once again. My screams escaped my lips, and have never left me to this day.
"Stop! Please stop!" but they continued to fire. She was dead before she hit the floor. I screamed again, despite knowing it was too late. "Stop! Please stop!"
________________________________________________________
"PLEASE STOP!" I gazed at the knife in my right hand, and my now lacerated left arm. I held the knife tightly, squeezing it with all I could muster. Yet, I didn't feel any better. The same sadness-driven madness that I always felt. My blood dripped from the knife and onto the floor. A bloody floor. Like the one on that day so long ago.
I dropped the knife, and stood up straight. My eyes felt heavy. I needed rest. I was beginning to feel worse than I ever had in my life -- lately, my pity had become even more hate-driven, and the memories were rising from the dead, despite being buried in my mind for so long.
"I have to end this," I said. "**** sleep. **** my one rule about living with this. It is time I finally die. No career. No passion. No life. All of it -- wasted. To hell with all of it. To hell with my life!" I dropped to my knees where a small chest was. Opened it with my two hands and took out something I had been saving for when the pain became too much. For when I needed it the most. For when my time to end my miserable excuse for a life had finally come. My revolver. Loaded with a single bullet. Its polished shine glistened with energy. Glistened with a false hope.
"It's time... to pay for my sins," I stood up, holding the gun in both of my hands, and stared down at it. Imagining where I would go once I was gone. Heaven would never condole my actions, and its gate would never open. Hell would have no caged inferno that could contain me. I would be trapped in-between this world and purgatory for all eternity. At least then my past would never haunt me. I would return to the place where my insanity began. Roam the spot where the sea of roses and a church used to be. I would be trapped there -- trapped in a mindless, yet impossible-to-escape from place where my sorrow would die.
I put the gun to my head.
"I can't take it anymore. For the last time -- Natasha, May, everyone, I am so sorry for what I let happen to all of you. Your father, if you remember him, Kyle -- was a weak man. Don't grow up to be like him. Be stronger than that, wherever you are," I said, hoping my final few words would somehow find their way to the people I had failed and let down. To the people I had let die on that fateful day. They were all changed. Contorted. Everything.
I began to squeeze the trigger...
_________________________________________________________
I had a dream the night after the wedding massacre. A single body rose from the rubble. Surrounded by bodies of the dead, this one faceless man began to rise. I never saw what he really looked like. I only saw powerful sparking tears escape his silhouette face and light up the abyss from behind him, exposing more blood on the walls, and more bodies. He began to whisper her name.
"Natasha... where are you? Natasha?" he ran through the rubble, tripping over bodies and other debris. The sparkling tears still escaping his face. "Where are you? Please be okay!"
The man stumbled for what seemed like hours until he finally found who he was looking for, oddly enough, close to where he first rose from the ashes. He fell to his knees, and held up her bloodied right hand in his left. Slowly, he began to shake his head, and mumble a few worthless words to a body that no longer had a beating heart.
"I will always love you!" he held her tight. Not letting go. "I remember when I first saw you. Whips and leather, bah, I saw right through what you tried to be and saw the real you. You were never a dominatrix at an S&M club, you were meant for me! You promised to keep me in line... I should have done that for you. With you gone... I am dead!!" he roared loudly, letting the whole countryside hear his words.
And he dropped her hand...
"I promise, my love. I promise you, that what happened here today will not go without justice. How can they do this to you?!" and he fell to the ground, breaking out in more tears, letting it all escape him. No longer did he feel sane or capable. He felt broken and alone.
He stayed there for awhile, but in due time, the fire department, ambulances, and police arrived. They nearly dragged his body away from her as he held on, refusing to let go.
"Sir, I know it's tough, but we have to clear the area. You have to be checked out, you have been shot."
"Don't leave her alone!"
They began to pull him away. He lost his grasp.
"I have nothing left! Nothing!"
_________________________________________________________
My door opened, just as I began to press down on the trigger. I was greeted by a dark silhouette of a man. The same man I had seen in my dream so long ago, the night after what I had witnessed.
"You're not the only one with nothing left," there he was. The Necro Newborn staring at me, right as I was about to leave the world that had given me nothing but sorrow and grief. My eyes widened, and my mouth hung open. "Put the gun down, Park."
"It's not fair," I cried, shaking the gun in my hand now, too afraid to pull the trigger all-of-a-sudden. "It was over. It was about to end. Everything. Why, Necro? Why now? Why, when I have finally had enough, you return. Why, when my vessel to leave this world was ready to set sail... you... you return?"
"I want to help you. Put the gun down," he said, moving in closer. Tears began to roll down my eyes now, as the gun continued to rattle in my hand, making hard for me to concentrate. "Please, Mike! I know what you've been through!"
"NO YOU DON'T!" I screamed, now pointing the gun straight at Necro's head, as he was only a few feet away from me. "You son of a bitch! You're the reason I asked for help from the mob! You're the reason all of this **** happened! If it were never for you, I wouldn't be here. I would be with May and away from these four walls I call an existence! I should do what I wanted done so long ago!"
I aimed the gun right at his forehead. I wanted to end what should have been done that day. I wanted to end his life after what I had let him do to my wife. I wasn't going to let him marry my sister. After all that had happened -- it all came down to this. One single shot.
"Park, before you pull the trigger, there is something you should know," he said, in the calmest voice imaginable.
"Shut up. Shut up!" I cried.
"I went through the same thing as you, but someone came to see me. She helped me change. She made me a better person. I was feeling pain for so long, Mike. I know, what happened on that day killed us all inside," he said, coming in closer.
"I'm more dead than anyone. I can't be changed. I CAN'T!" I roared, as the gun began to shake in my hands, preventing myself from getting a clear shot. It wasn't letting me finally end what I had let happen.
"Mike, do you want to see her?" he asked.
I said nothing. I dared not to speak. But as I finally positioned my shot again, and prepared to pull the trigger, she walked in. Her black hair was captivating. Her face looked airbrushed. Her blue eyes glowed in the darkness, providing a pure light. A pure hope. She entered the room. My long lost wife who I hadn't seen in close to a year. May Tain.
"Mike... I'm so sorry I wasn't there."
_________________________________________________________
"Go wait in the car, Kyle," I said to my son, taking one last look at him as he headed towards May's blue caravan. I stared into her eyes and she stared into mine. In the distance, on the old country road, we both stood for the last time, together, as one.
"What happened, Mike?" she asked me. We weren't under the best terms. If nothing had happened at the church, then chances were that a divorce was imminent. Her red and green dress looked wonderful on her, and her black hair blew in the wind. I stared down at her feet that were placed in black high heels. I couldn't bring myself to look her in the eye. "What happened?"
As it the blood all over my clothes wasn't enough. Only an hour ago, I had called her from the country house that Kyle and I were staying at and told May to come right away, and to be expecting Kyle to live with her for awhile. Our relationship, once flawless, had become one giant cluster ****.
"I'm sorry, May," I finally said, shaking my head. "I'm sorry I let him do that to you."
"That's done with, Mike. What's done is done. The past is the past. What happened? What happened just now? Why did you call me out here? It's such a long drive," her words were crisp and beautiful. Even on a day like this, I could never forget her and why I loved her. Everything about her... so perfect.
"I'm going away for a long time. Forever, actually. I can't live like this anymore. I can't, not after what I had let happen," I said, digging into my pocket, just before May could ask once again, 'what happened?'.
I took a single rose out of my pocket. It was a bit burnt, but still as beautiful as the woman before my very eyes. I placed it into her hands and finally gazed her in the eye. Tears forming in mine.
"I will always love you. Remember me, May. Don't come looking for me. I won't be the same."
I could still remember the look on her face. Her own tears rolling down her cheek. Sparkling as the setting-sun brought them to life. I longed to see her again, but I turned my back to her. I could remember her last words so clearly too. Even today, like I had just heard them moments ago...
"I'm sorry, Mike. I'm sorry I wasn't there."
_________________________________________________________
I stared at May, standing along side the man who I had seen rape her while she was being sold for sex in Mexico. Why was this happening? I dropped my gun, and it fell to the floor, nearly breaking through the poorly-built wood. I began to shake my head slowly, and walk towards her, each step becoming so hard to take.
"May... I... I missed you. I just want it all to end. Look at me!" I pointed to my pale face, and waked towards her. I nearly fell to my knees, but kept on moving towards her. "I want to be free of all of this!"
"I know, Mike. I know," she said, as I could no longer stand. I was too tired to keep on going. I fell to the floor. Dizzy. Fatigued. Hungry. Thirsty. Hurting. Crying. Everything, it all came at me from about fifty different angles. I could remember May dropping to her knees and looking up at me, staring into my green eyes, while her blue ones gave me a bit of strength and hope.
"We're getting you to a hospital. You're going to be alright! I promise you, I am not going to let you die!" she turned towards Necro. I began to become deaf, but I could read her lips, just before I passed out completely from the pain and sudden shock of all that had happened. "Can you move him?"
I could remember being picked up by my long-time foe and nemesis. I could remember having my whole word spin faster and faster, round and round, over and over. My eyes rolled into the back of my head, and all I could see was white. My heart began to beat faster and faster, thumping and thumping. My life was in their hands now, and in a way, it felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I was now free. Free, after such a long time of enduring misery and having a forsaken past creep throughout my mind. It was only when I was about to lose even more, that I finally felt home, and away from what had caused my life to spiral out of control and enter the abyss.
My hungering for self-sacrifice was no more.
Sins... now cleansed.
Requiem Of Sin: Epilogue
I had been locked in a room for hours. I stared up at the ceiling above and its infinite number of white plastered dots. I did not blink, nor move; I just lied there, like I was waiting for something to happen. Aside from staring up at the ceiling, I realized that I recognized this room, or at least, some parts of it. Many of the items in the room: a nightstand, a tall mirror, some out-of-place clothes -- they belonged to someone I knew for a long, long time. May, my wife. And I was lying on her bed, sunk into the mattress, without any sense of reason or meaning. Just a few hours ago, I was finally going to do it: end my miserable excuse for a life after all the sins I had committed. I could remember holding a gun to my head and preparing to pull the trigger, awaiting to enter a new dimension and embrace a new existence. Yet, once again, I found myself drawn out of it by an unexpected force. She had returned for me, and alongside her was the man who had caused me to commit the sins that never left me and circled my head for days on end, breaking me down and drowning me in a sea blood.
My blood.
My blood bled black for six long months. The scars on my arms, legs, everywhere, they were all caused by my craving punishment. Craving atonement and release. Trying to bleed out the past. Yet, here I was, lying on her bed with her voice echoing in my head. It was her. She had returned once again.
"They say you're going to be okay. I... I brought you something," I looked up at her and smiled at her grace, her purity. Her black hair with a thread of golden-blonde highlights captivated me -- made me feel like I was dreaming. But alas, I couldn't bring myself to smile around her, not ever. My lips returned to their hollow expression. "They say you need to eat, though," and she placed a tray with a plate of fruit on my lap along with a glass of water. It all looked so colourful when compared to the greyness that surrounded the room I was in. "Well, eat up."
I didn't say anything back to her. I just stared at the tray and the food she had prepared for me. The fruit had been cleaned in the sink, as tiny drops of water dripped from the top of the fruit and onto the plate. The water in the glass looked so clean and clear. It was pure.
"Pure..." I whispered just enough for her to hear. She looked me in the eye, and for the first time in what seemed like an eternity, we gazed into each other's soul, seeking out hope. Her blue eyes only made my partly-green black eyes open wider. I began to think back to how things once were, and the first time we had met, so very long ago...
_________________________________________________________
The children played in the park. Running throughout the sand-filled playground, going up and down slides and pushing each other on swings. The sun beamed in the sky with its own charismatic shine and uniqueness. The clouds were formidably full of grace and wonder. I had returned home after a hectic work week. I was a rookie in the world of wrestling, but found myself steadily gaining popularity and drawing fans. It was a better time for me, though -- well-known, yet I didn't have everyone come up to me and say, 'hey, didn't I see you on TV last night?'. It was a time where I could still be that little boy who wanted to be like his father before him and make it big. Have dreams. Not needing to fulfil them no matter the cost. Some dreams... turn to nightmares.
As I walked on the recently-watered grass, enjoying a walk on my day off, I could notice someone looking at me. Maybe even... staring at me. Eyeing me carefully. Checking me out. I stopped walking for a moment and turned my head towards one of the park benches where a woman sat, gazing at me from afar. Her black hair, air-brushed face, and smile of serenity not only brought me near, but they were what attracted me further.
She waved towards me, in such a sense that she wanted me to go and see her. I slowly raised my right hand into the air, still in awe while looking on at her seemingly endless majestic attributes. The way her hair blew in the wind. The way she crossed her legs. Everything. It was all-consuming.
Everything about her... so...
resent Day::. 
