Seth God Of Chaos
A God In My Own World
I have a few of these so if you want more just ask.
You know i think i have the greatest job in the world, i mean what other jobs allow me to kill people and get paid for it. Granted im not as good as id like to be and some of the kills ive stuffed up would make someone who works in a slaughterhouse puke. Take my most recent kill for example....
It had been a bad few weeks, not only had i spent the remainder of my money on a bottle of stuff guaranteed to make me drunker than id ever been before - which later turned out to be windex, that was the worst night ive ever spent - and i had become addicted to some rather strange substances - most of which are only available in iran - and that was when my employer turned up, slapped me awake and asked how much it would be to kill her husband - jealous spouses make up about 90% of my business. She was hideous beyond belief and i wondered briefly how she had managed to get a husband in the first place, then i heard her offer and i realised exactly how she had gotten a husband, she was as rich as hell. It seemed to be an easy job all i had to do was kill him. That might sound odd but most people want some kind of trophy, one women wanted her husbands dick believe me that was my worst job ever, it turns out he wasnt dead yet, you ever had someone wake up while your cutting his dick off trying not to puke, lets just say that he wasnt happy. So because all i had to do was kill him it was my choice how and i quickly decided that my method would be as wierd as hell, failing that the uh "substances" decided and i just agreed. Anyway im known in the circles for my wierd executions. So after a few days with half my payment - which i spent on things i needed to survive ie: vodka and cheeseburger's - then suddenly it hit me, or rather the alchohol hit me, if i injected enough pure alchohol into him he'd die, and all the tools id need would be a big ass syringe and some pure alchohol. So the plan was complete all i had too do was get close to him and stick my needle in him. Ok that didnt sound good. Still the man was going to be killed by alchohol, i mean theres not a better way to go. So now that the plan was made all i needed to do was put it into action. That should be simple enough, Right? Wrong. Do you have any idea how hard it was to get a bottle of pure alchohol. I mean WHERE can man find a bottle of pure alchohol. I mean i checked the bottle shop, zilch, i checked the chemist, nada, i even checked MY uh "Chemist" and he couldnt find it anywhere. Eventually however i did find it, at the HARDWARE store i mean the HARDWARE STORE WTF. So once id found the booze -and kept myself from drinking it. i mean its 100% it must be STRONG AS HELL- my only job was to get a needle and i have them lying around all over the place to uh i mean there for my insulin injections, so back on topic, once id got my equipment i just had to find and kill the guy, simple. All i had to do was ask his wife where he was going tonight, turned out he was going to some bar, it was called the phallus, well i went to the phallus turns out that the guy didnt have a mistress, he had a boyfriend. And did you know that black leather overcoats are apparently intensley attractive to other men, so back on topic. Once id found the guy i had a simple time convincing him to get really drunk with me, my exact words were "hi, im buying, you up for 20 or 30 shots" and next thing i knew i was being beaten in a drinking competition by my target, once we'd drunk all our shots and yes he beat me by 3 shots, i suggested we go out in the alley and i dont know what he thought i wanted to do but he was eager as anything. So once id got him in the alley it was work of the moment to hit him over the back of the head with a trash can lid, i however had missed and hed fallen over. I proceeded to pull down his pants so i could inject him with the alchohol. I flipped him over and tuck the needle right in his butcheek and as i thought he was unconcious his cries of "HEY NOT SO ROUGH" kinda scared me. I proceeded to pick up the lid and flailed blindly around until i felt it connect with the back of his head. I then injected the rest of the alchohol and wandered back to the bar. The next day i went and collected the other half of my fee from the mans widow and spent it all on a large supply of illegal things which lasted me about three days. Well another job well done and another three weeks living on cat food and NyQuil. So basically life is back to normal and my addictions have stepped up another notch.
You know i think i have the greatest job in the world, i mean what other jobs allow me to kill people and get paid for it. Granted im not as good as id like to be and some of the kills ive stuffed up would make someone who works in a slaughterhouse puke. Take my most recent kill for example....
It had been a bad few weeks, not only had i spent the remainder of my money on a bottle of stuff guaranteed to make me drunker than id ever been before - which later turned out to be windex, that was the worst night ive ever spent - and i had become addicted to some rather strange substances - most of which are only available in iran - and that was when my employer turned up, slapped me awake and asked how much it would be to kill her husband - jealous spouses make up about 90% of my business. She was hideous beyond belief and i wondered briefly how she had managed to get a husband in the first place, then i heard her offer and i realised exactly how she had gotten a husband, she was as rich as hell. It seemed to be an easy job all i had to do was kill him. That might sound odd but most people want some kind of trophy, one women wanted her husbands dick believe me that was my worst job ever, it turns out he wasnt dead yet, you ever had someone wake up while your cutting his dick off trying not to puke, lets just say that he wasnt happy. So because all i had to do was kill him it was my choice how and i quickly decided that my method would be as wierd as hell, failing that the uh "substances" decided and i just agreed. Anyway im known in the circles for my wierd executions. So after a few days with half my payment - which i spent on things i needed to survive ie: vodka and cheeseburger's - then suddenly it hit me, or rather the alchohol hit me, if i injected enough pure alchohol into him he'd die, and all the tools id need would be a big ass syringe and some pure alchohol. So the plan was complete all i had too do was get close to him and stick my needle in him. Ok that didnt sound good. Still the man was going to be killed by alchohol, i mean theres not a better way to go. So now that the plan was made all i needed to do was put it into action. That should be simple enough, Right? Wrong. Do you have any idea how hard it was to get a bottle of pure alchohol. I mean WHERE can man find a bottle of pure alchohol. I mean i checked the bottle shop, zilch, i checked the chemist, nada, i even checked MY uh "Chemist" and he couldnt find it anywhere. Eventually however i did find it, at the HARDWARE store i mean the HARDWARE STORE WTF. So once id found the booze -and kept myself from drinking it. i mean its 100% it must be STRONG AS HELL- my only job was to get a needle and i have them lying around all over the place to uh i mean there for my insulin injections, so back on topic, once id got my equipment i just had to find and kill the guy, simple. All i had to do was ask his wife where he was going tonight, turned out he was going to some bar, it was called the phallus, well i went to the phallus turns out that the guy didnt have a mistress, he had a boyfriend. And did you know that black leather overcoats are apparently intensley attractive to other men, so back on topic. Once id found the guy i had a simple time convincing him to get really drunk with me, my exact words were "hi, im buying, you up for 20 or 30 shots" and next thing i knew i was being beaten in a drinking competition by my target, once we'd drunk all our shots and yes he beat me by 3 shots, i suggested we go out in the alley and i dont know what he thought i wanted to do but he was eager as anything. So once id got him in the alley it was work of the moment to hit him over the back of the head with a trash can lid, i however had missed and hed fallen over. I proceeded to pull down his pants so i could inject him with the alchohol. I flipped him over and tuck the needle right in his butcheek and as i thought he was unconcious his cries of "HEY NOT SO ROUGH" kinda scared me. I proceeded to pick up the lid and flailed blindly around until i felt it connect with the back of his head. I then injected the rest of the alchohol and wandered back to the bar. The next day i went and collected the other half of my fee from the mans widow and spent it all on a large supply of illegal things which lasted me about three days. Well another job well done and another three weeks living on cat food and NyQuil. So basically life is back to normal and my addictions have stepped up another notch.
