Favourite quotes from Dark Tower Series


Aug 8, 2007
thought i'd start this up cos theres just so many great lines!
Some that spring to my mind:

'The Man in Black fled across the Desert, and the Gunslinger followed'(of course)

'I don't like people, they **** me up'- Jake Chambers

'Go then, there are other worlds than these'- Jake Chambers

'but not for you Gunslinger, never for you. you darkle. you tinct. may I be brutally frank? You Go on.' - The Voice of the Tower

'First, fight the giant lobsters! Next, ride the psychotic train! And then, after a visit to our snackbar for a popkin or two-' - Eddie Dean

'at least I jack off with my left hand'- Roland after losing fingers on his right hand

'Do you have a cartomobile, a truckomobile, or a tacksee?'- Roland Deschain

"Officer Benzyck! It's good to see you and there's some jam right there on your collar, praise God!'- Rev. Earl Harrigan

anyone else got any favourites?
I think that maybe not the most eloquent as such, but definitely one of the most funny parts has to be when Jake just goes bananas on the driver of the car that nearly runs over Oy when he and Father Callahan get sent back to New York City. I can't remember whether that was the sixth or seventh book but it doesn't really matter.
lol, true, I remember some random person in that scene telling Jake to 'ventilate' him. That made me laugh, I mite have to start using that one.....
Not the most...ah...eloquent quote, but it certainly stuck in my mind for being quite...unusual :D. It is, of course, said by Eddie:

"Go take a flying f*** at a rolling donut."

And yes, Jake's departing line when Roland drops him. That one certainly stays with you.
"May we meet again on the path, before we all meet in the clearing ..." — Roland Deschain
Am a bit late here, but whatever....here goes:

"Because talent won't be quiet, doesn't know how to be quiet. Whether it's a talent for safe-cracking, thoughtreading, or dividing ten-digit numbers in your head, it screams to be used. It never shuts up. It'll wake you in the middle of your tiredest night, screaming, 'Use me, use me, use me! I'm tired of just sitting here! Use me, ****head, use me!'"
--Ted Brautigan's (a Breaker) character in The Dark Tower VII by Stephen King
See the TURTLE, ain’t he keen? All things serve the f***ing Beam!

What is that foolish creature its the worlds smallest violin playing my heart pumps purple piss for you!

Why did the dead baby cross the road? Cuz it was stapled to the chicken nyeck nyeck nyeck

You can rank me to the dogs and back again but i ll never lose the hard on i used to f*** your mother.

I forgot you got your sense of humor shot off in the childrens crusade or whatever

EDDIE RULES!!!!!! Funny thing is i remember these by heart, they just stick to my memory.
"Why will you cut me, and disfigure my face, and fill me with woe? I have only loved you for your beauty as you once loved me for mine in the days before the world moved on. Now you scar me with nails and put burning drops of quicksilver in my nose; you have set the animals on me, so you have, and they have eaten of my softest parts. "
just finished the series. here is a couple of my personal favorites

"First comes smiles, then comes lies. Last is gunfire."

"Only equals speak the truth. Friends and lovers lie endlessly, caught in the web or regard." this is definetely my favorite

"it was the possibility of darkness that made the day seem so bright."

"And so the world will end, i think a victim of love rather than hate. For love's ever been the more destructive weapon, sure."
'I have no opinion,' Cuthbert said brightly. 'No, none at all. Opinion is politics, and politics is an evil which has caused many a young fellow to be hung while he's still young and pretty.'"

Cuthbert Allgood rocks hard and to the left.

Pariah Leviticus
‎"Why do you keep looking back there?" the man in charge had asked.
"From time to time I need an antidote," Eddie said.
"From what?"
"Your face."

-Drawing of the Three-

Best Eddie quote EVER.
"Kill if you will, but command me nothing!" the gunslinger roared. "You have forgotten the faces of those who made you! Neither either kill us or be silent and listen to me, Roland of Gilead, son of Steven, gunslinger, and lord of the ancient lands! I have not come across all the miles and all the years to listen to your childish prating! Do you understand? Now you will listen to ME!"
--Roland speaking to Blaine the Mono, The Waste Lands
I'm almost through The Wind Through the Keyhole and thought I'd add one

"Pray for rain all you like, but dig a well as you do it. " Big Ross

Matias you've inspired me with such great quotes. I've been through them twice and I guess I'll have a go for a third round.
I created an account just so I could add my two cents to this little discussion, because I love DT Series so very much.

First though, I must say, one could do a mini-thread on "bad-a** things Roland says," and this would top the list:

"Who are you demon? Speak if you would speak - my time is short, my hands lose patience."

And one that I do my best to live by:

"Fault always lies in the same place; with he who is weak enough to lay blame."

--I may be slightly off on the wording of the second one, but I think it is often true.


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