Humour in Physics!

Pyan

Noli oblivisci linteum!
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I don't know if anyone's seen this - but I thought it was worth posting, if only to show you can be a scientist and have a sense of humour as well! Any other similar stories that you've heard?

The following concerns a question in a physics degree exam at the University of Copenhagen:

"Describe how to determine the height of a skyscraper with a barometer."

One student replied:

"You tie a long piece of string to the neck of the barometer, then lower the barometer from the roof of the skyscraper to the ground. The length of the string plus the length of the barometer will equal the height of the building."

This highly original answer so incensed the examiner that the student was failed immediately. He appealed on the grounds that his answer was indisputably correct, and the university appointed an independent arbiter to decide the case. The arbiter judged that the answer was indeed correct, but did not display any noticeable knowledge of physics. To resolve the problem it was decided to call the student in and allow him six minutes in which to provide a verbal answer which showed at least a minimal familiarity with the basic principles of physics. For five minutes the student sat in silence, forehead creased in thought. The arbiter reminded him that time was running out, to which the student replied that he had several extremely relevant answers, but couldn't make up his mind which to use. On being advised to hurry up the student replied as follows:

"Firstly, you could take the barometer up to the roof of the skyscraper, drop it over the edge, and measure the time it takes to reach the ground. The height of the building can then be worked out from the formula H = 0.5g x t squared. But bad luck on the barometer.

"Or if the sun is shining you could measure the height of the barometer, then set it on end and measure the length of its shadow. Then you measure the length of the skyscraper's shadow, and thereafter it is a simple matter of proportional arithmetic to work out the height of the skyscraper.

"But if you wanted to be highly scientific about it, you could tie a short piece of string to the barometer and swing it like a pendulum, first at ground level and then on the roof of the skyscraper. The height is worked out by the difference in the gravitational restoring force T = 2 pi sqrroot (l/g).

"Or if the skyscraper has an outside emergency staircase, it would be easier to walk up it and mark off the height of the skyscraper in barometer lengths, then add them up.

"If you merely wanted to be boring and orthodox about it, of course, you could use the barometer to measure the air pressure on the roof of the skyscraper and on the ground, and convert the difference in millibars into feet to give the height of the building.

But since we are constantly being exhorted to exercise independence of mind and apply scientific methods, undoubtedly the best way would be to knock on the janitor's door and say to him 'If you would like a nice new barometer, I will give you this one if you tell me the height of this skyscraper'."

The student was Nils Bohr, the first Dane to win the Nobel prize for Physics.
From:Physics Exam - The Humor Archives
 
An Astrology Chart for Bacteria

By Karen Hopkin, Ph.D.
Journal of NIH Research, Washington, DC
Photos by Tim Hazzard, Ph.D.
Oregon Regional Primate Research Center, Portland, Oregon

original version of this article in AIR 3:6.
Astrological science holds that the differential monthly positioning of the stars and planets controls human mood (DSM-IIIR),1 personality (Goodman, 1972),2 and even fate (Reagan, 1982).3
But what of the daily variations in the location of the star that is responsible for all life on earth-the sun? Might this simple diurnal cycle affect the lives of more primitive, shorter-lived organisms, such as prokaryotes? If the relative hourly positions of the Sun and Earth do influence bacterial fate, a sample horoscope for the common laboratory bug, Escherichia coli,4 might read something like this. Numbers indicate time of day (am or pm) when a bacterium was born.
Aries (12 to 1)

A long dark stranger may be swimming into your life. Might be a good idea to eliminate any viral sequences from your genome. This special someone has an F plasmid with your name on it. Excess oxygen may be in your future. Crank up the superoxide dismutase and hoard vitamins C and E.
Taurus (1 to 2)

You will develop ampicillin resistance. Take advantage of your new beta lactam splitting talents and venture into drugged media. Look for a nice, tetracycline-resistant mate and start a multi-drug resistant family.
Gemini (2 to 3)

A creep with wandering pilli will make a pass at you. Why not take all his genes and leave him an empty mass of lipoprotein? You're feeling motile, but should avoid the south side of the petri dish. Don't be intimidated by eukaryotes.
AIR
 
Ooh... from all this time on the Chrons I'm slowly converting into... into...

*flips out cape*

Science Geek!



I really liked your posts, HSF and Py! :D And I loathe science.
 
Um, yes. You see, me and science, we don't mix. It's like water and oil. :eek:

Don't get me wrong, I passed all of my science exams... I just... I can't get into it.
 
Lol! Too true. :)

North and south.
Light and dark.
South pole and north pole.
Electron and proton.
KFC and Leisha.

:D
 
Leish said:
And I loathe science.

Heathen!!

---

One I found on a friends Myspace profile some months ago (he's taken it off now, sadly):

One day, all of the world's famous physicists decided to get together for a tea luncheon. Fortunately, the doorman was a grad student, and able to observe some of the guests...

  • Everyone gravitated toward Newton, but he just kept moving around at a constant velocity and showed no reaction.
  • Einstein thought it was a relatively good time.
  • Coulomb got a real charge out of the whole thing.
  • Cavendish wasn't invited, but he had the balls to show up anyway.
  • Cauchy, being the only mathematician there, still managed to integrate well with everyone.
  • Thompson enjoyed the plum pudding.
  • Pauli came late, but was mostly excluded from things, so he split.
  • Pascal was under too much pressure to enjoy himself.
  • Ohm spent most of the time resisting Ampere's opinions on current events.
  • Hamilton went to the buffet tables exactly once.
  • Volt thought the social had a lot of potential.
  • Hilbert was pretty spaced out for most of it.
  • Heisenberg may or may not have been there.
  • The Curies were there and just glowed the whole time.
  • van der Waals forced himeself to mingle.
  • Wien radiated a colourful personality.
  • Millikan dropped his Italian oil dressing.
  • de Broglie mostly just stood in the corner and waved.
  • Hollerith liked the hole idea.
  • Stefan and Boltzman got into some hot debates.
  • Everyone was attracted to Tesla's magnetic personality.
  • Schroedinger kept worrying about his cat.
  • Compton was a little scatter-brained at times.
  • Bohr ate too much and got atomic ache.
  • Watt turned out to be a powerful speaker.
  • Hertz went back to the buffet table several times a minute.
  • Faraday had quite a capacity for food.
  • Oppenheimer got bombed.
  • Airy, famous for his jewelry, proudly showed his rings.
 
Brilliant, I also tend to come up with the craziest acceptable answer as trzanslations to classical chinese sentences and Japanese grmmatical structures.:p
 

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