(Joke) Season 9 Spoilers and Rumor

[McHorde-Trooper]

(Joke) Season 9 Spoilers and Rumor

Here is the idea:

Make up funny fake spoilers for SG-1 Season 9.

What ever you can imagine that might be funny?

Episode titles, fake summaries, rumors, and Quotes / Dialogue.
Or anything else that fits in.

================
Here is my submission.

Episode: Fungi Amongi the clouds

Summary: Mushrooms growing on Earth's clouds prevent SG-1 from testing Earth's newest spaceship.


Dialogue:

Jack: What Beetles song does this remind me of?

Teal'c: I believe you mean "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds"

Jack: Indeed.

Teal'c: Hey, that's my line!

----
Rumor: One episode of Season 9 will be filmed at Kitchen Stadium, the stage of Iron Chef America.


============
Episode:

Summary:

Rumor:

Quotes:
===============
This is thread is kind of like . .

Gag Atlantis Spoilers
http://64.46.119.37/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=20049

 

[Dave]

Well, we are getting the Arthurian Legend recycled. I originally thought that was a joke!!

It'll take me longer to come up with some real spoof ideas.

 

[McHorde-Trooper]

Episode: Low Power

Summary: A freak accident creates an EMP-like blast that knocks out the power and destroys the chemical composition of gasoline and other fuels.

Some back ups kick in just in time to discover that an unknown alien race is invading.

Now it's up to the Stargate team to fight them off, but how do they get to the battle?

Watch the comedy ensue as race on bikes to defend the Earth from clumsy aliens.

===
P.S. If any one wants to use that for a comedy fan fic feel free.

 

[Status]

How about this?

Episode: Among the Lilies

Summary: Teal’c buys a flower shop.

Anyone want to elaborate on this one?

 

[RangerOne SG13 SOR]

Originally posted by McHorde-Trooper
Episode: Low Power

Summary: A freak accident creates an EMP-like blast that knocks out the power and destroys the chemical composition of gasoline and other fuels.

Some back ups kick in just in time to discover that an unknown alien race is invading.

Now it's up to the Stargate team to fight them off, but how do they get to the battle?

Watch the comedy ensue as race on bikes to defend the Earth from clumsy aliens.

===
P.S. If any one wants to use that for a comedy fan fic feel free.

Hey your cheating, you cannot use the plots of exisiting episodes!!

LOL :rolly2:

Ranger

 

[McHorde-Trooper]

Originally posted by RangerOne SG13 SOR


Hey your cheating, you cannot use the plots of exisiting episodes!!

LOL :rolly2:

Ranger

I think your joking, but you could be serious (even though I think I've seen every episode so far).
- - -

Episode: Of Gold, Giants, and soup.

Summary: Daniel finds a planet where beanstalks and Giants dwell. Thinking that the beanstalk could mean an end to world hunger he stays to research it's potential. But things go fowl when a bird lady tries to leave with Daniel.

Memorable Scene: A giant sticks his finger thought the stargate only to have it lopped off by the closing of the iris.

Quote:
Carter: What are we going to do with this giant finger? We can't let it rot here and the silo's ceiling hatch got welded shut during our battle with the flying space cows.

Jack: It looks like cook will be preparing giant soup for a few months.

Teal’c: Indeed.

 

[RangerOne SG13 SOR]

I was joking anyway here goes...

Episode: Broken toy

Summary: The SGC receive there fantastic new Battle cruiser with a complement of 1500 crew and 200 mega laser cannons. However unknown to SG1 a rabbit is taken over by Kinseys goauld and proceeds to disable the ship while knocking out 400 elite marines.

Memorable scene: the Asgard beam in a Tokra elephant which stamps on the rabbit.

Quotes: ONeil, thanks thor how the hell do we get this elephant through the rings?

Carter: If I extrapolate the ion drive propulsion with this shiny metal chain off my car keys it will create a cool flashing light on the main screen. We can use this to signal in morse code "look out killer goaould rabbit on route to the controls"


Tealc: Indeed (raised eyebrow)

 

[McHorde-Trooper]

RangerOne SG13 SOR lol

That's pretty funny. I especially like Carter's techno babble it's got just the right amount of plausibility to make it cleaver and funny at the same time. ^_^

 

[Texane]

Episode: You Can Never Get Enough

Summary: A mistake by the obnoxious jerk on Stargate Atlantis sends an energy beam to the Stargate on Earth that zaps Carter and creates three more of her, each of whom begins to develop her own personality.

Memorable scene: Carter4 asking General Hammond for a date.

Quotes: ONeil: "Want to go fishing?" (four times)

Carter: "I am definitely going to get a vacation this year."

Tealc: "Indeed." (raised eyebrow).

 

[McHorde-Trooper]

Texane lol That's great funny and clever

clever Hey I spelled that right this time

= = = = =

Episode: Not so Secret Base?

Summary: Unknown to SG-1 an artifact draws mentally unstable people to the base.

Scene: Jack goes outside the base for a smoke. Then he realizes he doesn't smoke. As he turns to go back in a homeless man asks him for change.

Jack: Here you go . . hey how did you get past the guards?

 

[RangerOne SG13 SOR]

EPISODE: Game of two halves

SUMMARY: Tealc tries to fit in locally by teaching kids soccer.

Unknown to him the kids are all members of the NID blackmail him into revealing secrets of the SGC. However Carter picks up their plan when she gets a crossed line on her mobile and gets Daniel and Jack to beat them with a rival team becuase if the NID team wins they will kill Tealc.

Anyway Jacks team is doing ok until a 7year old girl makes daniel cry (and reveal all his ancient knowledge) she locks him into a cupboard making Jacks team go 200 goals down. Carter switches her mobile to tracking mode and finds daniel who runs the the pitch shouting "This is end to end stuff of a game of two halves" This spurs on Jacks team who mange to score 201 goals in the last 2 minutes of the game.

Despite winning the NID kids try to kill Tealc but they are foiled when carter uses here mobile to ring up an ice cream truck.

memorable Scene: Tealc showing 20 kids how to decapitate a man with a banana.

Quotes: Jack: Did we get paid for that episode?

Daniel: why do I always end up in the cupboard.

Tealc: Indeed (both eyebrows raised and jiggling)

Carter: Sorry cannot talk Ive got a text from Jacob.

 

[Dave]

LOL

These are getting better and better!

 

[McHorde-Trooper]

lol RangerOne SG13 SOR

= = =
Episode: Mary Sue

Summary: SG-1 suddenly gets 31 new members. Each are geniouses or skilled fighters that have a dark and mysterious past.

Quote:
- - -
Jack: Carter, do you ever feel like your in a bad fan fic?
- - -

 

[Dave]

==================
Episode: Brainiac

Summary: Teal'c is infected by a retro-virus that causes the overexpression of a protein CPG-15 which leads to a bigger brain with more grooves and furrows and a larger surface area. He astounds Sam by solving her complex math problem. As his brain expands within his skull he begins to experience painfull headaches and visions of a real jaffa god. He steals the Prometheus, hooks his brain directly into the controls, and attempts to fly to the centre of the Galaxy to meet with his real god.

But as Teal'c's body begins to atrophy, it becomes a race against time to bring him home and to save him before only his disembodied head remains.

Working title: "The Head That Wouldn't Die"

Quotes:

Sam: "His brain tissue has evolved significantly, he may now be the most intelligent human ever!"

Daniel:"Oh, almighty and powerful Oz!"

Jack: "So, now he's a Tefal head?"

Sam: "There's no place like home Aunty Em, there's no place like home."

 

[Dave]

=================

Episode: True Lies

Summary: When the studio decides to cancel the TV series 'Wormhole Xtreme', fans begin a huge petition writing campaign to save it. They also write in with their own fanfic stories that are remarkably similar to the real exploits of Stargate SG-1. Though many criticise the plots as being cliché ridden and far-fetched.

The WormholeUnited campaigh even raises $286,583 and collects pledges for another $6 million. Eventually, the studio declares that they will not be accepting any amount of money from fans to continue to produce 'Wormhole Xtreme' even though they are very flattered and impressed by the fans' passionate outpouring of attention for the show and their efforts to raise funds to continue the show's production. Martin Lloyd promises to return all donations, minus a 25% "handling fee" intended to cover PayPal and banking costs.

Quotes:

Jack: "If that guy is meant to be me, why is he a bald limey?"

Teal'c: "Indeed!"

Daniel: "Maybe I should grow a beard too?"

===================

Episode: Desert Storm

Summary: Another Stargate is uncovered in Babylonian ruins 85km south of Bagdad. Further investigations show that Sadam Husayn's weapons of mass destruction were hidden offworld using the gate.

 

[RangerOne SG13 SOR]

HAHA Dave very topical both eps

 

[Dave]

Rumour: After a disagreement with Jack over which of them caught a bigger fish, Teal’c storms out of his office and leaves the SGC. Using his 9 years of unspent back pay from the air force Teal’c has plastic surgery to remove the symbol of Apophis, and then buys a Pizza franchise in Colorado Springs.

This was going to be a spin-off series if the ratings were high enough.

 

[Texane]

Episode: Don't mess with my Minolo Blahniks

Premise: the owners of Neiman Marcus persuade the female who ran SG-1 for four minutes to give them a ride through the Stargate, with the promise they are only going to another world to obtain new ideas for really great high heels. The mission is a huge success, thanks to the Furlings, leading to a mass surge of clients to overrun Neiman's for the newest in great ***s.

Quotes:

Janet: "You have really been a pain in the *** lately."

Carter: "You're just ticked because I found the new Gucci's first."

Janet: "You might want to look overhead. One of the Ruskies is about to drop a house on you."

Carter: "Thanks for the warning."

Janet: "No problem. And I do NOT have your back. The only way I get the red shoes is if you go down."

Teal'c: (standing near, making no attempt to hide that he is completely confused).

O'Neill: "I love red high heels . . . . "

 

[FOX_UK]

Episode : Vendi Vici Verdi.

Plotline : SG-1 go through the gate only to find themselves back in ancient Rome with no way back. Unfortunately for the travellers they end up rematerialising inside the collusseum and mayhem ensues as they kick gladiator ass. Meanwhile Carter has to fight off the approaches of a randy Mark Anthony and try to stop Cleopatra from drowning her in milk.

Quotes. Carter - "Look lady get the snake out of my face before i churn your bath into butter."

Jack - "Oh **** Daniel, you just shot Spartucus. How are they gonna make a great film about him now?"

Teal'c - "Quite O'Neill" (Both eyebrows raised)

Daniel - "What do you know Jack you shouldnt even be here. This is season 9, I thought you had left."

 

[McHorde-Trooper]

lol FOX_UK

============
Episode: Zim the Doom Bringer

Summary: Invader Zim has passed through the crossover nexus located 4 blocks from the Moon's first Denny's location.


Quotes:
- -
Zim: At last Gir I have found the Nexus and can rain down doom on these filthy Earth fith-ians.
- -
Carter: So what's this advanced alien technology you wanted me to look at Daniel?

Gir: I'm Dancing like a monkey!

Daniel: I take back the advanced part.
- -
Teal'c: It appears that robotic moose are attacking the Beta Site.

Jack: Don't you mean Mooses?
===============