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Why Kirk Is Better Than Picard

Discussion in 'The Original Series (TOS)' started by Dave, Sep 3, 2004.


    Dave Wherever I Am, I'm There Staff Member

    Jan 5, 2001
    Way on Down South, London Town
    Why Kirk Is Better Than Picard

    1. Kirk is a leader, not a follower.
    2. Kirk never really got into that kinky "Jumpsuit" look.
    3. Kirk had an affair more than once a season.
    4. One Word: Hair.
    5. Another Word: Pretty-good-looking-can't-see-the-weave-WIG.
    6. Kirk can beat up a Klingon barehanded.
    7. Picard is a French man with an English accent.
    8. Kirk would date Beverly Crusher -- and not worry about the consequences!!
    9. Kirk never drinks tea. Ever.
    10. Diplomacy for Kirk is a phaser and a smirk.
    11. Kirk would personally throw Wesley off his bridge.
    12. Two words: Shoulder Roll.
    13. Kirk doesn't wear dresses when admirals arrive for lunch.
    14. Kirk once said: "I've got a belly-ache -- and it's a beauty."
    15. Kirk would never sing to children in a crisis.
    16. Kirk can almost drive a stick shift.
    17. Kirk, almost single-handedly, re-populated the Earth's whale population.
    18. Kirk says "Prime Directive? What Prime Directive?"
    19. Kirk knows 20th Century curses.
    20. Kirk was NEVER infiltrated by the Borg and used against the Federation.
    21. Kirk ate little coloured cubes and still remained relatively healthy.
    22. Kirk made do with obviously low performance technology.
    23. Kirk never pretends to be a barber in order to gain a tactical advantage.
    24. Kirk wasn't shy about taking his shirt off even around those pesky Yeomans.
    25. Kirk would never waste a holodeck on something stupid like Dixon Hill.
    26. Kirk never once stood up and had to straighten his shirt.
    27. One Word: Velour.
    28. Kirk can beat a Vulcan at Chess.
    29. When Kirk was Picard's age, he retired from Admiral and took to climbing rocks.
    30. When Picard was 37, he was only Captain of the lowly freighter, Stargazer. When Kirk was 37, he was Captain of the flagship Enterprise.
    31. Kirk liked a good belt of liquor every now and again.
    32. One Word: Iman.
    33. Kirk looks good with a ripped shirt.
    34. If Kirk ever met a Ferengi, he would rip off its head.
    35. Kirk says, "Shoot first and wait for retaliation."
    36. Kirk's first officer NEVER tells him to stay on the bridge.
    37. Kirk never leaves the room to bawl somebody out.
    38. Kirk doesn't rely on the wisdom of some dumb old janitor to get him out of intergalactic scrapes.
    39. Two Words: Funky Sideburns.
    40. Kirk never asks his bartender for advice.
    41. Kirk never once said, "Abandon ship! All hands abandon ship!"
    42. Kirk is not politically correct.
    43. Kirk never got "dumped" by a woman for an intergalactic busy body named after a letter of the alphabet.
    44. Kirk never wore green tights and frolicked about in Sherwood Forest.
    45. If there were ever a Klingon on Kirk's bridge, Kirk would likely be dead.
    46. Ever hear of a bar shooter called "Make it so?" No? How about a "Beam me up Scotty" then? See the difference?
    47. One Word: Miniskirts.
    48. Kirk's girlfriends always look good in soft light.
    49. Kirk never went anywhere without a whole bunch of guys in red shirts.
    50. Kirk's first officer didn't play some wimpy instrument like the trombone.
    51. Kirk had more dates than his first officer.
    52. The extent of Kirk's knowledge of Klingon vocabulary can be roughly translated as "DROP DEAD."
    53. If something doesn't speak English -- it's toast.
    54. Kirk wasn't some prissy archaeology fan.
    55. Picard's middle name isn't tough or awe-inspiring like Tiberius is.
    56. If Kirk finds a strange spinning probe, he blows it up.
    57. Picard never met Joan Collins.
    58. Picard flunked his entrance exams to Starfleet.
    59. Picard hasn't fathered any children; Kirk -- probably millions.
    60. Kirk has a cool phaser -- not some pansy Braun mix-master.
    61. Two Words: Line Delivery.
    62. Picard grew up on a quaint little French vineyard, squishing grapes with his toes, while Kirk slung bails of wheat and hay in Iowa to put himself through school.
    63. Kirk emphasizes his orations with pertinent hand gestures.
    64. Kirk once made a cannon out of bamboo, sulphur, potassium nitrate, and charcoal and then fired diamonds into the hearts of his enemies. (Need we say more?)
    65. Kirk is not put off by green skin.
    66. Kirk knows how to deal with peace loving hippy goofs.
    67. Kirk once fought a Greek god. And won.
    68. Kirk barely asks for suggestions. And if he does, he asks Spock only.
    69. Kirk doesn't let the doctor tell him what to do.
    70. One Word: Fisticuffs.
    71. Kirk's name is hated throughout the galaxy.
    72. Kirk appreciates Shakespeare, but he doesn't let it show.
    73. You can never lock up Kirk for very long.
    74. Kirk's eulogies can actually make you cry.
    75. Kirk plays god with lesser cultures, and then exploits them for resources.
    76. Kirk's son would never drop out to become a musician.
    77. Kirk can climb up a Jeffries Tube and fix anything.
    78. Kirk never hired an engineer with punk glasses.
    79. The Klingons didn't have a word for surrender -- until they met Kirk.
    80. Kirk's bridge is not beige.
    81. Two Words: Crane Shots.
    82. Picard likes wimpy violin music -- and coerces Data into playing it.
    83. Picard allows cats on board, while Kirk beams away even really cute things, like Tribbles.
    84. Kirk is a cultural icon -- Picard is just some guy who's really nice.
    85. Kirk specifically ordered a swivel LA-Z-BOY for the bridge.
    86. Kirk would never touch SYNTHAHOL.
    87. Kirk looks distinguished in reading glasses -- and nobody dares to call him "four eyes."
    88. Kirk can infiltrate Gangsters, Nazis, and even the Pentagon -- easily.
    89. Picard likes painting nudes, for art's sake.
    90. When Kirk doesn't trust the Romulans, he fires at them. When Picard doesn't trust the Romulans, he gets fired at.
    91. Kirk never once, ever, wore a Speedo banana hammock on shore leave.
    92. Kirk never gets his command codes locked out by some pimply acting ensign.
    93. Kirk doesn't test the engines -- he just fires them up.
    94. When Kirk says "Boldly Go," he MEANS it.
    95. Three Words: Flying Leg Kick
    96. Picard's crew would never ever think of him as a sexual object.
    97. Kirk travelled through The Great Barrier, met God, and wasn't even impressed.
    98. Kirk's bedroom is a passion pit with electric sheets.
    99. Kirk would never let his Chief of Security wear a ponytail.

    MightyCaptain Science fiction fantasy

    Jun 25, 2005
    No disrespect intended to any of the the modern series but I feel Classic Trek is the best of all. :cool:

    Dave Wherever I Am, I'm There Staff Member

    Jan 5, 2001
    Way on Down South, London Town
    I think we've probably discussed this already, but I forget now. I think that everyone has a favourite series mainly to do with how old they are, and also that it is very difficult to compare them because of the fantastic changes in technology that has taken place.

    I do think that TNG was a excellent second bite of the cherry, and I much preferred the darker, and more serial format of DS9. Even Enterprise has grown on me - especially season 4 - but I agree with you that there is nothing like the original series. It is the only one which I can watch the episodes again and again. I really hope that they don't do the re-imagination that I've read is a possibility.

    Welcome to AsciFi.

    MightyCaptain Science fiction fantasy

    Jun 25, 2005
    Well if you were to go by that logic, then I would prefer TNG over TOS as I was a child of the Eighties. So that forumula doesnt always work.

    That said, I am gratified you also like the classic stuff. In this day and age, I worry that fans only know the more recent interpretations of the franchise.

    Madeline Dog Lover

    Dec 10, 2006
    I feel that way too. The modern series was complicated to me. I had to learn all those different aliens names and origins. The one with William Shatner was much more simple.

    Madeline Dog Lover

    Dec 10, 2006
    Enjoyed your list:)

    jackokent Jack of all trades

    Feb 23, 2006
    I grew up on Kirk but still prefer Picard. I thought Picard was somehow cooler. It took me a while to accept him but after I'd watched it a bit he was definately better for me.

    I don't think Kirk is actually believable enough. He may have slogged hard to get where he was but in the real world (which of course star trec isn't) I don't get the impression he would have actually got the job.
    Last edited: Dec 11, 2006

    SpaceShip Outta sight

    Sep 15, 2006
    But then - isn't the original always better than any copy?

    jackokent Jack of all trades

    Feb 23, 2006
    Usually. And I don't think you can beat the origional aliens. They were truely inspired.

    I think Picard must have been very good to make me prefer him. It wasn't just me. My lodger at the time also became a Picard convert.
    Curt Chiarelli

    Curt Chiarelli Yog-Sothothery on the Fly

    Mar 27, 2006
    A word to the wise: Necromancy, sloppy trigonometr
    LOL :D I loved reading this! Thank you for posting it.
    The Technophobe

    The Technophobe The magic digit

    Dec 10, 2006
    I dont think you can compare them. Different times, different generations. They were both good but DS9 and Sisko were the better.
    Trey Greyjoy

    Trey Greyjoy Iron Price Payer

    Aug 4, 2005
    Excellent post! 5 stars.
    Steve Jordan

    Steve Jordan I like SF. SF is cool.

    Nov 21, 2006
    Germantown, MD, USA
    What... no reason #100? Then how 'bout this:

    100. A generation after Kirk's death, Sisco and Dax went back in time so they could get Kirk's autograph, and swoon over the sight of him, respectively.

    Take that, DS9 lovers! ;)

    No... okay, try this:

    Kirk beat Trelaine, a Q-comparable entity, by slapping him in the face.

    AE35Unit ]==[]===O °

    Dec 8, 2007
    Somewhere near Jupiter...
    I just found this thread,class!
    And there's currently a spate of ST on TV this weekend,there's a TOS episode on now on the sci fi channel. My goodness Spock,something decent on the sci fi channel for once!

    I have to say that when STTNG first came out i didn't get it. It was supposed to be the NEXT Generation and yet the captain looked like he could have been Kirk's dad or nice uncle!
    Shadow Trooper

    Shadow Trooper Fides, Spero Fidelitasque

    Jan 3, 2009
    We all have ability - The difference is how we use

    Yep, that's pretty nails LOL! :D

    Daisy-Boo Purr-fectly crazy

    Sep 21, 2009
    Cape Town
    Oh I love this list. :D

    Just one small but crucial change though.

    From this:
    To this:
    61. Two Words: Line. Delivery.

    Can you spot the difference? ;)

    I have much love for Picard and TNG was in my era, so to speak. But TOS has a special place in my heart. About a year or so ago, I bought all three seasons on DVD and these count amongst my prized possessions. The interactions betweek Kirk, Spock and McCoy warms my heart every single time.

    GNDN "The trial never ends."

    May 17, 2011
    Loved the list as well. I grew up with TOS but actually like TNG better. The lyric from the song 'Star Trekkin' seems to sum up Kirk's command philosophy eloquently: "Ah! We come in peace, shoot to kill, shoot to kill, shoot to kill;.." so deliciously un-PC. :p

    I agree with The Technophobe, it's not really fair to compare TOS or Kirk with the other series' or captains. Kirk et al stand alone. Different days, different drummers.

    Mladen host of Extra Sequential

    Jul 25, 2011
    "Kirk plays god with lesser cultures, and then exploits them for resources." is gold. Morals? What... are... those?

    Gabriel007 say w00t?

    Jul 25, 2011
    45. If there were ever a Klingon on Kirk's bridge, Kirk would likely be dead.

    same here
    Rahl Windsong

    Rahl Windsong Last of the Windsong Clan

    Mar 15, 2005
    Squamish, BC, Canada
    I grew up watching the Original Series and while I really do like it, I still think TNG was as good as the original in many ways and though Picard was a lot different in his style of command he is every bit as good a captain as Kirk.

    Kirk's era was more....the captain does it all...

    Picard's era was more...constrained and he was not allowed to just beam down on every mission like Kirk did.

    I loved both series, in fact I liked all of the series.

    If you ever get the chance to watch Shatner's show on the Captains I suggest you watch it...there is some priceless stuff when Shatner interviews Patrick Stewart and it is not to be missed if you are a fan of Star Trek.

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