Gen Fic: Celebration, PG-13

PrincessG

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Caritas:

The staff of Angel Investigations watched as Lorne’s cousin jumped into the portal. Suddenly, Cordelia felt herself being pulled into the vortex. Luckily for her, Angel noticed, and with his superior vampire swiftness, quickly pulled her to safety.

“Whew, that was a close one, Sweetpea,†Lorne said. “It’s a good thing Angelcakes caught you.â€

“Why? What’s so bad about Pylea?†Cordelia asked.

“Honey, you don’t want to know,†Lorne replied. “Let’s just say you wouldn’t have been too happy there, Lambchop.â€

“Hey, guys, let’s go out to dinner. It’s on me,†Angel said, eager to get back into the good graces of his friends. “How does the Outback Steakhouse sound?â€

“Sounds good to me, Angel Hair Pasta,†Lorne said.

“What about the girl in Cordy’s vision?†Wesley said. “Are we to simply forget about her?â€

“What about her? According to the flier, she disappeared five years ago. Whatever happened to her was over and done with a long time ago. There’s nothing we can do about it now,†Gunn said.

“Yes, I suppose you’re right,†Wesley said. “Steak it is then.â€

“Beef! It’s what’s for dinner!†Gunn said as they left the nightclub.

Pylea - several days later:

The Deathwok clan gathered to celebrate the return of their prodigal son from the foul, cow-filled world he had inadvertently visited. Numfar had been sent to the market to obtain proper provisions for the feast. Sadly, owing to Numfar’s complete lack of bargaining skills, the main course would only consist of one skinny cow.

“Numfar, you idiot!†his mother had said. “I expect such incompetence from Krevlorneswath, not you!â€

“Sorry, Mama,†the demon said, hanging his head in shame.

“Never mind, tonight we will eat well. Or eat as well as we can,†she said, eyeing the lowly beast which struggled futilely against the ropes restraining it. “Prepare the stewpot, perhaps the cow will yield enough broth for a decent consumme.â€

“Yes, Mama,†Numfar said, eager to redeem himself.

Numfar and assorted relatives (most of whom hadn’t been invited, but showed up anyway), quickly completed the dinner preparations. The cow continued to struggle; it babbled nonsense until someone put a gag in its mouth.

“Time for the main course. Numfar, do the dance of feasting,†the Matriarch said as she swung the krebble.

Beef! It’s what’s for dinner!

The End.
 

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