Favorite Firefly Quotes


Fear is the mind killer.
Jan 18, 2002
What is good show forum without a quote thread?

Quotes from: The Train Job

Jayne: 'What day is it?' (later on) 'What month is it?'

Zoe: Jayne?
Jayne: Hey, I ain't fighting' no way. Best of luck to ya' though.

Wash: Every man there go back inside or we will blow a new crater in this little moon.

Jayne: Blow a new crater in this moon, ha, ha, ha, ha!!

Mal: Kaylee, what the hell is going on in the engine room? Were there monkeys? Some terrifying space monkeys?

Simon: So, what are we doing then?
Kaylee: Crime.
Simon: Crime. Good... okay... crime.
Kaylee: It's a train heist. See we fly over the the train car, the Captain and Zoe sneak in, we lower Jane onto the car, and they bundle up the bootie and we haul them back up. Easy as lying.
Simon: So, you've done this before?
Kaylee Hell no!

Jayne: Time for some thrilling heroics.

River: Two by two, hands of blue.

Wash: Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?
Simon: I told him to sit down.

Mal: Nice shot.
Jane: I was aiming for his head.

Mal: We're not thieves!! Well... we are thieves.

Bad Guy: It doesn't matter where you go, or how far you fly. I will hunt you down and the last thing you will see will be my blade.
Mal: Darn (kicks him into propeller)
Mal: Now this is all the money-
Other Bad Guy: Okay, I'm good. I speak for everyone. I'm right there with ya'.


Fear is the mind killer.
Jan 18, 2002
From Bushwhacked:

Book: I think we've got 'em on the run now!
Mal: Our cunning strategy of getting our asses plainly whooped must be starting to confound 'em.

Wash: Oh, gawd! What could it beee? We're dooomed! Who's flyin' this thing? (then, deadpan) Oh. Right. That'd be me. Back to work.

Mal: Wash, you have a stroke or something?
Wash: Near enough.

Jayne: Right. Yeah... No. Someone could be hurt.

Jayne: Somethin' wrong?
Simon: Hmmm? Oh. No. I... I suppose it's just the thought of a little mylar and glass being the only thing separating a person from... nothing.

Book: What if that ship's a crime scene?
Wash: Well -- if it wasn't before, it certainly is now.

Zoe: Not now, dear.

Simon: (to Jayne) Oh, yes. He's a real beast. It's a wonder you're still alive.

Jayne: Loopy in the head. [Fong luh] All of you.

Mal: You tell me now, little Kaylee -- you really think you can do this?
Kaylee: Sure. Yeah. Think so. 'sides, if I mess up, it's not like you'll be able to yell at me.

Harken: That's a very loyal crew you have there. But then I see by your record you tend to inspire that quality in people -- Sergeant.

Harken: Seems odd you'd name your ship after a battle you were on the wrong side of.
Mal: May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one.

Harken: Can't imagine how many times men in my position hear that excuse. "Reavers did it."


Fear is the mind killer.
Jan 18, 2002
Kaylee: Now, this would be the perfect time for a swear word.

Simon: My god -- you're like a trained ape. Without the training.

Simon: All right. Fine. I'll go. Just stop describing me.
Mal (salutes): You're the boss, boss.
Jayne: He's the boss now? Day keeps getting better and better.

Wash (to Kaylee): What happened to Simon? Who is this diabolical master of disguise?

Simon: This must be what going mad feels like.

Wash: I think they captured him, though - you know...captured his essence.
Kaylee: Looks sort of angry, don't he?
Wash: That's kinda what I meant.

Mal: I don't know. This here's a spectacle might warrant a moment's consideration.
Kaylee: Everywhere I go, his eyes keep following me.

Jayne: Can't be a statue of me. No reason for it. Flies in the face of every kind of sense.
Mal: Won't argue with that.

Simon: No. This must be what going mad feels like.

Wash: We gotta go to the cra**y town where I'm the hero!

Mudders: To Jayne! To Jayne!
Jayne: To me!

Simon: You know, I've saved lives. Dozens. Maybe hundreds. I reattached a girl's leg. Her whole leg. She named her hamster after me. I got a hamster. He drops a box of money, he gets a town.
Kaylee: Hamsters is nice.
Simon: To Jayne! The box-dropping, man-ape-gone-wrong-thing.

River: They say the snow on the roof was too heavy. They say the ceiling will cave in. His brains are in terrible danger.
Book: River? Why don't you come out?
River: No! I can't. Too much hair.

Jayne: You guys had a riot? On account of me? A real riot?
Mudder: I can't believe you're back.
Jayne: How could I stay away?

Simon: Excuse me, could I see a menu?
Bartender: A what?

Zoe: Is that Jayne? Is that really him? Wash, pinch me, I must be dreaming!

Kaylee: Oh, honey...
Simon: Kaylee?

Jayne: You gonna talk me to death, buddy? Is that the plan?

Higgins: You did what?!?
Fess: I sent an override to Port Control. Lifted the land-lock on Serenity.
Higgins: I ought to wipe that smile off your head. How dare you defy me?
Fess: You wanted to make a man out of me, Dad. I guess it worked.

River: Just keep walking, preacher-man.

Kaylee: You really are such an easy mark.

Jayne: Don't make no sense.


Jul 17, 2001
This may not be exactly right because I caught it on the fly without taping it:

Jayne: How about we move away from this eerie-assed spectacle and get on with our eerie-assed day?


Fear is the mind killer.
Jan 18, 2002
Originally posted by obcooke
Jayne: How about we move away from this eerie-assed spectacle and get on with our eerie-assed day?

That was a good one. :)


Fear is the mind killer.
Jan 18, 2002
From Our Mrs. Reynolds:

Mal: If your hand touches metal, I swear by my pretty flowered bonnet, I will end you.

Jayne: You got a wife? All I got is that dumba$$ stick sounds like its raining. How come you got a wife?

Mal: How drunk was I last night?
Jayne: Well I dunno. I passed out.

Mal: Had some mulled wine, pretty girl gave me a hat made out of a tree. Nobody said I was signing up to have and to hold.

Mal: Someone ever tries to kill you, you try to kill 'em right back!

Zoe: Havin' yourself a little supper, captain?

Zoe: Nobody's saying that, sir.
Wash: Yeah, we're pretty much just giving each other significant glances and laughing incessantly. Is that cider?

Saffron: You don't want to finish?
Mal: No, I just -- um, I have captainy things to do. But truthfully, it was a fine meal. Thank you.

Mal: Can I come in?
Inara: No.
Mal: See? That's why I usually don't ask.

Jayne: Six men came to kill me one time. The best of 'em carried this. It's a Callahan full-bore autolock. Customized trigger, double-cartridge thorough gauge. It is my very favorite gun.
Mal: You offering me a trade?!
Jayne: A trade?! Hell, it's theft. It's the best d**n gun made by man. It has extreme sentimental value. It's miles more worthy than what you got.
Mal: What I got? She has a name.
Jayne: So does this. I call it Vera.
Mal: Well my days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle.

Mal: Jayne! Go play with your rain stick.

Boss Man: This is why you'll never be in charge, Bree. You don't see the whole. The parts are cr*p.
Bree: I said exactly that.
Boss Man: But you put it together you got a Firefly. Thing'll run forever they got a mechanic that's even half awake.

Wash: Every planet has its own weird customs. About a year before we met, I spent six weeks on a moon where the principal form of recreation was juggling geese. My hand of god. Baby geese. Goslings. They were juggled.
Zoe: Of course. The man rushes in to defend her.
Wash: I'm talking about geese.
Zoe: Captain shouldn't be babysitting a da**ed groupie, and he knows it.
Wash: Okay, when did this become not funny?

Wash: Do I wish I was somebody else right now. Somebody not... married, not madly in love with a beautiful woman who can kill me with her pinkie!

Mal: Is it Christmas?

Mal: Wash, how did --
Wash: Hey, I just got kicked in the head.
ZOE: My man would never fall for that

Mal: You want to stow it, preacher? We're in some peril here.

Wash: Maybe she likes shuttles. Some people juggle geese!

Kaylee: She's a pro.
Wash: This is a masterful job of muck-up. See how she crossed the drive feeds?
Kaylee: Ya-huh.
Wash: So we even try to reroute, it'll lock down.
Kaylee: She went straight for the thermal cap.
Wash: Yeah, yeah. We are so hung!
Mal: I'm glad you two are havin' a good time under there. Can we progress to the makin' it right?

Jayne: One day you're gonna tell us all how a preacher knows so da*n much about crime.

Jayne: See, Vera? Dress yourself up; you get taken out somewhere fun.


Fear is the mind killer.
Jan 18, 2002
Here's Jayne's song from Jaynestown:

Jayne \ The man we call Jayne \ He robbed
from the rich and he gave to the poor \
Stood up to the Man and he gave him what for \Our love for him now ain't hard to explain \The Hero of Canton, the man they call Jayne \Our Jayne saw the Mudders' backs breaking \He saw the Mudders lament \ And he saw the magistrate taking \ Every dollar and leaving five cents \ So he said, 'You can't do that
to my people' \ He said...

Our love for him now ain't hard to explain \
The Hero of Canton, the man they call Jayne

Now here is what separates heroes \ From
common folk like you and I \ The man they
call Jayne \ He turned 'round his plane \
And let that money hit the sky


Fear is the mind killer.
Jan 18, 2002
From Out of Gas:

Zoe: You paid money for this, sir? On purpose?

Mal: Ship like this, be with ya 'til the day you die.
Zoe: 'Cause it's a deathtrap.

Zoe: Get her running again?
Mal: Yeah.
Zoe: So not running now?
Mal: Not so much.

Wash: Monastic humor. I miss out on all the fun. And all the food, too, apparently...
Zoe: Just who do you think you're married to?
Wash: I love my wife.

Simon: Thank you. I'm really - I'm very deeply moved. Thank you.
Jayne: Well deeply move yourself over there and blow out them candles so we can try a slice.

River: Fire...

Mal: Wash...
Wash: I'm not leaving her side, Mal. Don't ask me again.

Zoe: Something about him bothers me.
Mal: What? What about him bothers you?
Zoe: I'm not sure. It's just... something.

Mal: I need that in Captain Dummy-Talk, Kaylee.

Wash: Well, maybe I should do that, then!
Mal: Maybe you should!
Wash: Okay!
Mal: Good!
Wash: Fine!

Bester: Mal. Whaddya need two mechanics for?
Mal: I really don't.

Kaylee: Sorry, Captain. I'm real sorry. I shoulda kept better care of her. Usually she lets me know when something's wrong. Maybe she did, I just wasn't paying attention...

Inara: Mal, this isn't the ancient sea. You don't have to go down with your ship.
Mal: She ain't going down. She ain't going anywhere.

Inara: Mal -- you don't have to die alone.
Mal: Everybody dies alone.

Marco: Do we look reasonable to you?
Mal: Well. Looks can be deceiving.
Jayne: Not as deceiving as a low down dirty... deceiver.
Mal: Well said. Wasn't that well said, Zoe?
Zoe: Had a kind poetry to it, sir.

Mal: I mean, let's say you did kill us. Or didn't. There could be torture. Whatever. But somehow you found the goods. What would your cut be?
Jayne: Seven percent, straight off the top.
Mal: Seven? Oh.
Jayne: What!
Mal: Hmm? Nothing. Not a thing. No, I just...That seem low to you?
Zoe: It does, sir.
Jayne: That ain't low...
Marco: Stop it.
Jayne: Seven percent's standard.
Mal: Okay. Zoe, I'm paying you too much.

Mal: Jesse, don't call Stern. Billy, leave the catalyzer.
Captain: Do as he says.
Mal: Take your people and go.
Captain: You would have done the same.
Mal: We can already see I haven't. Now get the hell off my ship.

Jayne: Well, hey, you know. We'da been back first, except there's something wrong with Inara's shuttle. She done somethin' to it, Mal. Smells funny.
Inara: I told you, that's incense.
Jayne: So you say.


Fear is the mind killer.
Jan 18, 2002
From Shindig:

INARA: How did I avoid that?
MAL: By being fast like a freak?

Inara: As with other situations, the key seems to be giving Jayne a heavy stick and standing back.

Zoe: Planet's coming up a mite fast.
Wash: That's just cause, I'm going down too quick. Likely crash and kill us all.
Mal: Well, that happens, let me know.

Wash: What am I looking at, the girls or the clothes?
Jayne: There's clothes?

Zoe: If I'm going to wear a dress, I'd want something with some slink.
Wash: You want a slinky dress? I can buy you a slinky dress. Captain, can I have money for a slinky dress?
Jayne: I'll chip in.

Jayne: Pretentious?

Kaylee: Yes, sir, Captain Tightpants.

Harrow: I know him. And I think he's a psychotic low-life.
Mal: And I think calling him that is an insult to the psychotic low-life community.

Harrow: But you mussed up Atherton's face, and that has endeared you to me somewhat. You might even give him a fight, before he guts you.

Kaylee: Up until the punching, it was a real nice party.

Jayne: What we need's a diversion. I say Zoe gets naked.
Wash: Nope.
Jayne: I could get naked.
Everyone: NO!!!

Mal: You think following the rules will buy you a nice life, even if the rules make you a slave.

Mal: Sure, its humiliating. Having to lie there while the better man refuses to spill your blood. Mercy is the mark of a great man.
(pokes Atherton in the belly with the sword)
Guess I'm just a good man.
(pokes him again for good measure)
Well, I'm all right.

Mal: See how I'm not punching him? I think I've grown.

Jayne: We was just about to spring into action, Captain. Complicated escape and rescue op.
Wash: I was going to watch. It was very exciting.

Inara: Are you in pain?
Mal: Absolutely. I got stabbed, you know, right here.


Fear is the mind killer.
Jan 18, 2002
From Safe:

River: We need to resort to cannibalism.
Simon: That was fast. Don't we have rations or anything?

Simon: So... how'd the independents cut us off?
River: They were using dinosaurs.

Mal: See, morbid and creepifying, I got no problem with, long as she does it quiet-like.

Mal: She makes things not be smooth.
Simon: Right. I'm very sorry if she tipped off anyone about your cunningly concealed herd of cows.

Simon: These phrases -- they don't sound anything like her. Some of these
words -- they're misspelled. She started correcting my spelling when she was three. She's trying to tell us something. I think there's a code.

Gabriel: I always thought it was River who was lost without her big brother. Now I'm beginning to wonder if it isn't the other way around.

Mal: Doctor could be called a lot of things. Coward wouldn't be one of 'em, though.

Jayne: "Dear Diary, Today I was pompous and my sister was crazy." "Today, we were kidnapped by hill folk never to be seen again. It was the best day ever."

Simon: Mmm, yes, seems like a lovely little community of kidnappers.

Jayne: This place gives me an uncomfortableness.

River: You gave up everything you had to find me. And you found me broken. It's hard for you. You gave up everything you had.
Simon: Everything I have is right here.

Simon: These are better than the Cambersons' berries.
River: They are. Except they're poison.
(Simon spits them out)
River: He believed her. Made a face.
Simon: You are such a brat!

Simon: I'm sorry, dad. You know I would never have tried to save River's life if I had known there was a dinner party at risk.

Simon: Light it.

Mal: Well, look at this! Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What does that make us?
Zoe: Big da*n heroes, sir.

Patron: This is a holy cleansing. You cannot think to thwart God's will.
Mal: Y'all see the man hanging out of the spaceship with the really big gun? Now I'm not saying you weren't easy to find. It was kinda out of our way, and he didn't want to come in the first place. Man's lookin' to kill some folk. So really it's his will y'all should worry about thwarting.


Fear is the mind killer.
Jan 18, 2002
From Ariel:

Wash: Can I use companion as a verb?

Mal: This is my boat. They're part of my crew. No one's letting left. Best you get used to that.

Jayne: If I had wanted schooling, I'da gone to school.

Simon: If I didn't know better I'd say you were ready to save some lives.

Jayne: The doc did good coming up with that job, don't mean I like him any better. Nothing buys bygones quicker than cash. Maybe I'll give him a tattoo while he's out.

Jayne: We applied the cortical electrodes but were unable to get a neural reaction from either patient.

Zoe: I don't think anyone smiles in hospitals.
Mal: Of course they do, it's the Core. Everyone's rich and happy here, why wouldn't they smile?

Simon: She feels everything; she can't not.

Simon: Now, I'm not going to move from this spot until one of two things happens. You answer my very simple question; or you shoot me.

Jayne: I got no intention to run around like a rat in a maze 'til we're dead. Now, we're going back. (hears distant screams and runs to catch up with them)

Inara: What's going on here?
Kaylee: Oh, let's see.. We killed Simon and River... Stole a bunch of medicine, and now Zoe and the Captain are off springing the others that got snatched by the feds.

Mal: Well, Doc had a good notion. The boy's got a decent criminal mind.

Jayne: Be reasonable. What're you taking this so personal for? It ain't like I ratted you out to the feds.
Mal: Oh, but you did. You turn on any of my crew, you turn on me. But since that's a concept you can't seem to wrap your head around, then you got no place here. You did it to me, Jayne. And that's a fact.

Mal: The next time you decide to stab me in the back have the guts to do it to my face.

River: Time to go to sleep again.
Simon: No, [mei mei - "little sister"]. It's time to wake up.


Fear is the mind killer.
Jan 18, 2002
From War Stories:

Book: Yes, I'd forgotten you're moonlighting as a criminal mastermind now. Got your next heist planned?
Simon: No. But I'm thinking about growing a big black mustache. I'm a traditionalist.

Mal: Ah, the pitter patter of tiny feet in huge combat boots.

Mal (To River and Kaylee): One of you is gonna fall and die, and I'm not cleaning it up!

Zoe: Is there any way I'm gonna get out of this with honor and dignity?
Wash: You're pretty much down to ritual suicide, lambie-toes.

Zoe: I thought your plan was too risky. I thought.
Wash: Then tell me. I am a large, semi-muscular man. I can take it.

Simon: You are my beautiful sister.
River: I threw up on your bed.
Simon: Yep. Definitely my sister.

Mal: Okay, um, I'm lost. Uh, I'm angry, and I'm armed.

Wash: Hey, I've been in a firefight before! Well, I was in a fire. Actually, I was fired from a fry-cook opportunity.

Wash: Now I'm learning about scary.

Jayne: You do a lot of shooting at the abbey there, Shepherd?

Wash: I think I've been kidnapped.

Mal: There's plenty orders of mine that she didn't obey.
Wash: Name one!
Mal: She married you!

Zoe (Pointing to Wash): Him. I'm sorry. You were going to ask me to choose, right?

Wash: He's insane.

Jayne: You really think you can mount a two-man frontal assault on Niska's skyplex and live?
Wash: Technically, it's a one-man/one-woman assault. A unisex. Grenades?
Zoe: Oh, yes. Thank you, dear.

Wash: You know, there's a certain motto. A creed among folks like us. You may have heard it: "Leave no man behind."

River (Shooting): Can't look. Can't look... No power in the 'verse can stop me!

Mal: Haven't you killed me enough for one day?

Wash: Mmm. Wife soup. I must've done good.

Wash: No. That was the torture talking. Remember? The torture?

Jayne: Now somethin' about that is just downright unsettling.


Jul 17, 2001
Here we go gang. From #1.10 "Objects in Space" :

SHEPHERD: Some orders allow Shepherds to marry, but I follow a narrower path.

JAYNE: But I mean, you still got the urge. They don't cut it off or nothing.

SHEPHERD: No, I'm more or less intact. I just direct my energy elsewhere.

JAYNE: You mean like masturbating?

SHEPHERD: I hope you're not thinking of taking Orders yourself.


JAYNE: St. Jayne, it's got a ring to it.

SHEPHERD: I'm just trying to remember how many miracles you've performed.

JAYNE: I once hit a guy in the neck from 500 yards with a bent scope, don't that count upstairs?

SHEPHERD: Oh, it'll be taken into consideration.


[After a psychic episode, River finds herself on the cargo deck with a nasty-looking pistol in her hand. Mal takes it away.]

MAL [to Simon]: Fully loaded, safety off - This here is a recipe for unpleasantness. Does she understand that?

RIVER: She understands; She doesn't comprehend.

MAL: Well, I'm glad we've made that distinction.


MAL: We're deep in space, the corner of No and Where.


ZOË: Where's River now?

MAL: In her room - which I'm thinking, bolt from the outside from now on.

WASH: That's a little extreme, isn't it?

JAYNE: Anyone remember her coming after me with a butcher's knife?

WASH [reminiscing fondly]: Wacky fun.

JAYNE: You wanna go little man?

WASH: Only if it's some place with candlelight.

ZOË: Sir, I know she's unpredictable, but I don't think she'd harm anyone.

JAYNE: Butcher's knife!

ZOË: Anyone we can't spare...


SIMON: What's this got to do with River, she wasn't even in that fight?

KAYLEE: Well, no, she was. I got pinned down and there were three guys and I couldn't....... And then River comes up, she looks out, sees 'em all... And they was spread out, you know, had some cover. But she - she only looked for a second and... took my gun, closed her eyes, killed 'em.

SIMON: She shot them?

KAYLEE: All three, dead, in an instant - with her eyes still closed.

JAYNE: Wow, that's {space talk for a bunch of bull}. You saw it wrong.

KAYLEE: Not a jot. And it weren't autofire or luck, she just... she just did the math.


SIMON: She probably didn't even know what was going on, you know, thought it was a game.

JAYNE: Later on you can explain to me how that's a comfort.


MAL: Girl knows things... things she shouldn't, things she couldn't.

JAYNE: What? Are you saying she's a Witch?

WASH: Yes, Jayne, she's a Witch. She has had congress with The Beast.

JAYNE: She's in Congress?

WASH: How did your brain even learn human speech? I'm just so curious?


WASH: Psychic, though? That sounds like something out of science fiction.

ZOË: You live in a space ship, dear.


JAYNE: Well, I don't like the idea of someone hearing what I'm thinking.

INARA: No one likes the idea of hearing what you're thinking.


JAYNE: If wishes were horses, we'd all be eating steak.


BOUNTY HUNTER EARLY: Where's your sister?

SIMON: Are you Alliance?

EARLY: Am I a lion?

SIMON: What?

EARLY: I don't think of myself as a lion. You might as well though; I have a mighty roar.

SIMON: I said Alliance.

EARLY: Oh, I thought...

SIMON: No, I was...

EARLY: That's weird.


EARLY: This is her room.


EARLY: It's empty.

SIMON: I know.

EARLY: So, is it still her room when it's empty? Does the room - the thing - have purpose? Or do we... what's the word?

SIMON: I really can't help you.

EARLY: The plan is to take your sister, get the reward, which is substantial. Imbue... that's the word.


EARLY: The plan is not to shoot you. The plan is to get the girl. If there's no girl, then the plan, well... is like the room.


SIMON: I don't think my last act in this 'verse is going to be betraying my sister.

EARLY: You're going to help me. Because every second you're with me is a chance to turn the tables... Get the better of me. Maybe you'll find your moment. Maybe I'll slip. Or, you refuse to help me, I shoot your brain out and I go upstairs and spend some time violating the little mechanic I've got trussed up in the engine room. I take no pleasure in the thought, but she will die, weeping, if you cross me.

SIMON: You're out of your mind.

EARLY: That's between me and my mind.


SIMON: And which part of your plan dictated the necessity of beating up a Shepherd?

EARLY: That ain't a Shepherd.


EARLY: You ever been shot?


EARLY: You oughta be shot or stabbed, lose a leg... to be a surgeon, you know. Know what kinda pain you're dealing with. They make psychiatrists get psychoanalyzed before they get certified, but they don't make a surgeon get cut on. That seem right to you?


EARLY: Man is stronger by far than woman, yet only woman can create a child. Does that seem right to you?


EARLY: All right, that's all the hide-and-seek I've got time for. [yelling] I know you're on this ship, little girl, so here's how this goes. You show yourself, we finish this exchange, or your brother's brains'll be flying every which-a-way. [To Simon] You understand, I'm sorta on the clock here, it's frustrating.

INTERCOM: You're wrong, Early.

EARLY: I'm not wrong, dumpling, I will shoot your brother dead if you don't...

INTERCOM: Wrong about River. River's not on the ship. They didn't want her here, but she couldn't make herself leave, so she melted - melted away. He didn’t know she could do that, but she did.

EARLY: I'm not sure I take your meaning there.

INTERCOM: I'm not on the ship, I'm in the ship... I am the ship.

SIMON: River...

INTERCOM: River's gone.

EARLY: Than who exactly are we talking to?

INTERCOM: You're talking to Serenity. And Early? Serenity is very unhappy.


EARLY: Where'd she go?

SIMON: I can't keep track of her, when she's not incorporeally possessing a space ship, don't look at me.

EARLY: That's some nonsensical cr*p, ain't nobody can do that. [yelling] You're somewhere on this boat. Somewhere with a 'com, playing games.

INTERCOM: [girlish giggling]

EARLY: That's somewhat unsettling.


EARLY: I only hurt people 'cause they keep getting in the way of me finding you. [To Simon] Tell her.

SIMON: What am I, your advocate?

EARLY [pointing pistol]: You are starting now.

SIMON: He's really very... gentle and fuzzy. We're becoming fast friends.

INTERCOM: [giggling]

EARLY: You folks are all insane.

SIMON: Well, my sister's a ship... We had a complicated childhood.


EARLY: Does anyone care that I have a finely crafted gun pointing at this boy's head?


EARLY: Then you gonna come out and stop me from doing what I don't want to. You gonna be smart here, River?... River?... Serenity?


MAL: How come there's a guy onboard and how come you're all-a the sudden the ship?

INTERCOM: I know you have questions.

MAL: That would be why I just asked them.


MAL: Am I dreaming?

INTERCOM: We all are.

[Mal rolls his eyes.]

INTERCOM: Don't make faces.

[Mal looks around suspiciously.]


EARLY: You know with the exception of one deadly and unpredictable midget, this girl is the smallest cargo I've ever had to transport, yet by far the most troublesome. Does that seem right to you?


INTERCOM: You're not welcome here anymore, Early.

EARLY: You think I'm gonna leave here empty-handed?

INTERCOM: I know it.

EARLY [sarcastic]: Yeah, well, you know me very well.

INTERCOM: Wish I didn't. You like to hurt folk.

EARLY: It's part of the job.

INTERCOM: It's why you took the job. Power, control, pain - Your mother knew. Sadness in her when she waved goodbye. She's relieved. Saw a darkness in you. You're not well.

EARLY: You'd be wanting to shut up now.

INTERCOM: Big golden retriever sitting on the lawn. Never took to you. Smell on you. The Neighbor's pet - you did things to him, cleaned up after. Shined and polished. Everything in here gleams.

EARLY: I'll be a son of whore. You're not in my god'mn mind. You're on my god'mn ship!

RIVER: [giggling] It's very interesting, all these buttons.

EARLY [worried]: Okay, we're not touching those. Okay?


RIVER: You're not right, Early. You're not righteous. You've got issues.

EARLY [still worried]: No. Well, yes. I could have that. You might have me figured out then. Good job. I'm not a hundred percent.

RIVER: You talk too much.

EARLY: I'm flawed in that way. I sometimes go on. It's been said...

RIVER: It's okay, Early... I'm going with you.

SIMON: River, what are you...

EARLY: Don't belong. Dangerous, like you. Can't be controlled. Can't be trusted. Everyone can just go without me and not have to worry. People could be what they wanted to be... could be with the people they wanted... could live simple. No secrets.


RIVER: I'll be fine. I'll be your bounty, Jubal Early. And I'll just fade away.


EARLY [in a space suit on the hull approaching his ship]: Made the right move, darlin'. Best for you to go on with ol' Early.

MAL [from behind Early]: Think so? Some of us feel differently.

[Mal pushes Early off the ship and he floats into deep space.]


RIVER [joins Mal on the hull]: Permission to come aboard?

MAL: You know, you ain't quite right.

RIVER: It's the popular theory.

MAL: Go on, get in there. Give your brother a thrashing for messing up your plan.

RIVER: He takes so much looking after.


ZOË [removing bullet from Simon's leg, under his direction]: This is really not my area of expertise, Doctor. I tend to be putting these into people, more than the other thing.

WASH [to ZOË]: Can I mop your brow? I am at the ready with the fierce-some brow mopping.

SIMON: You got the bullet. Okay, I'm just going to pass out for a minute, but you're doing great.


EARLY [floating head-over-heels in deep space]: Well, here I am.



Fear is the mind killer.
Jan 18, 2002
Originally posted by obcooke

SIMON: He's really very... gentle and fuzzy. We're becoming fast friends.

INTERCOM: [giggling]

EARLY: You folks are all insane.

SIMON: Well, my sister's a ship... We had a complicated childhood.

That was one of my favorites!


Save Angel!
Jun 13, 2001
From The Train Job:

Zoe: Sir, I think you have a problem with your brain being missing.

Jayne: Time for some thrilling heroics


I still love the terrifying space monkeys one!


Save Angel!
Jun 13, 2001
Another great one from the Train Job:

You know what the chain of command is? It's the chain I go get and beat you with till you understand who's in rutting command here


Hal Jordan

- Browncoat -
Mar 8, 2003
I got a lot of favorites and most of 'em you've already listed. But my favorite favorite one definitely has to be: No power in the 'verse can stop me.

There's a few words/phrases that I tend to use some times but not often, so I thought I'd include them here:

- shiny!
- coulda shoulda woulda
- ruttin'
- time for some thrilling heroics

Oh! And those chinese cuss phrases were cool too:

- Mal: "Ching-wah tsao duh liou mahng."
frog-riding bastard (Ariel)

- Wash: “Tai-kong suo-yo duh shing-chiou doh sai-jin wuh dhu pee-goo!â€
everything in space is stuffed up my butt (War Stories)


Jan 12, 2002
From Trash:

Mal - sitting alone in the desert with not a stitch on:

Yup... that went well.


Parting shot of River to Jayne: Oh, and I can kill you with my mind.


Best wishes,
Hatshepsut - who would like a copy of the script of the whole episode. :cool: :wave:


Jan 12, 2002
Whoa! Great resource site. :D Thank you very much for the rec., Lonewolf. :)

Best wishes,
Hatshepsut :wave:

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