Forum Story: Commentary

littlemissattitude

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Building what up? Me?

On the off chance that you meant me, and the long-promised entrance of my character, no, she is not God, nor any one of many gods. Although if anyone sees her arrive, they might think so, depending on their own particular belief system. No, she's just from Somewhere Else. If anything, she is on the run from the God her people believe in, or at least from some of his believers.

Now, I don't want to give too much away. But I'd prefer not to drop her into the middle of the robbers and their attempted sacrifice. I don't think her appearance would do much to sway them from their particularly bloody beliefs.

I'm really enjoying what you all are writing. I've only got one bit of advice. It might be better to make up some new swear-words, rather than just stick punctuation in the middle of the ones we all know or slightly misspell them. Not trying to be a stick-in-the-mud, but just recognizing that all ages come to the forum and not wanting any parents to get upset. Anyway, made-up swear-words are much more fun, IMHO. Makes people guess what you're getting at. So you get to have the fun of making them up and they get the mental exercise of trying to figure out what they really mean.;)
 

polymorphikos

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You know, littlemiss, you don't have to enter as your character. Write as one of us, or from the POV of the bandits, or anyone. Do not let chronology and the opportune moment stiffle your creativity!
 

littlemissattitude

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polymorphikos said:
You know, littlemiss, you don't have to enter as your character. Write as one of us, or from the POV of the bandits, or anyone. Do not let chronology and the opportune moment stiffle your creativity!
Well, I'd rather not mess with chronology, but I really may have to at least introduce my character from just before she pops in. I hadn't thought of that, but it has its possibilities.
 

Esioul

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One thing I feel I need to know, is what exactly is the pebble/it's purpose? Judith seems to know, but I don't, nor what it has to do with Holofernes.
 

Hypes

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Alvis and Haj need it for an alchemy formula. Whatever it has to do with Holofernes is up to you.
 

polymorphikos

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What he said. I thought it was the key to a mysterious temple full of gold, so that shows how much I know.
 

Esioul

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Perhaps it could be one of those stones that come out of the stomach of a goat. I can't remember the name of it, damn, but it was supposed to be a very effective sort of medicine, but not all goats have them, so you can kill a goat and gain nothing quite easily. Perhaps it could be a very effective sort of poison? But no, Holofernes has to have his head chopped off. Or perhaps Holofernes is looking for some goat-medicine.
 

polymorphikos

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Maybe Holofernes is an obsessive recluse who is terrified (with good cause) of assassination, and the promise of the pebble is the only thing that will draw him out and make him vulnerable.
 

Esioul

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Yes, so then he can be caught and decapitated. Or maybe he's a goat worshipper? or both. I think Judith must like the idea of assassination.
 

Hypes

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How about every character needs it for a different goal.

Alvis is the alchemist, he needs it to complete his formula to turn lead into gold.
Haj is a treasure hunter, he needs it to get filthy stinking rich.
Judith needs it for her revenge, etc.
 

Esioul

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Yes, that sounds good. Then everyone can just decide what they want it for. Is there anything else about it we could know i.e where did it come from?
 

polymorphikos

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Haj pinched it from a drunken monk whilst posing as a convert to the Nam-Phat church in the south ice-mountains. Haj then ran away with it, and may or may not be beset by monks in the near future as a result. This could be how the info is revealed.
 

Esioul

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Yes.... and it originally came from a temple in the place where Holofernes lives... can we call it.... er, Catal Hoyuk.... and Holofernes is getting worried about it, because he knows if Judith got it she'd use it as a bribe to get rid of him, or to get far enough in Catal Hoyuk to decapitate him.
 

polymorphikos

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does Caterina (spell.?) have any weird physical attributes or such. Just so someone else can keep going. We already know she's magic.
 

littlemissattitude

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polymorphikos said:
does Caterina (spell.?) have any weird physical attributes or such. Just so someone else can keep going. We already know she's magic.
No, Caterina does not have any weird physical attributes. No, she doesn't actually have two heads, or a third eye in the middle of her forehead, or anything like that.:D

It may be relevant that her father was an alchemist (which caused him to be executed for sorcery), and that he educated Caterina as much as he could in his craft. Then again, she was only twelve when he was killed (she is around nineteen or twenty in the context of the story). And, as you say, she is apparently magic. She has no idea how the prayer of protection transported her to where she is in the story, or even if that was what transported her or if there is some other effect in action. I see her as a kind of wild card in this story, having powers but not knowing what they are or how to use them or even really being aware before that point that she has them. It's sort of a learn as she goes proposition. And, we don't know yet whether her uncle's men will actually be able to show up and continue to hunt for her.
 

polymorphikos

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Sorry. It was just the way you revealed her to the characters that left me unsure. i thought that perhaps she was glowing or something. :)
 

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