Lord of the Limericks

Dave

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by popular request. . .

Young Frodo was suffering from gloom,
Lest he fail in his quest to Mount Doom,
In the "Return of the King",
He must destroy the ring,
Or let it return back to you know whom.
 

Dave

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Two remained from the Fellowships members,
Sam did the cooking using the fire's embers,
Sméagol fetched him water,
Though he wondered why he ought'a,
But Frodo preferred to eat his Lembas.
 

Dave

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Originally posted by Legolas
hehe how do you come up with this stuff?
:flash:
I don't why I'm good at them! If it helps, I find getting the rhyming words the hardest part, so I work those out first. I sing the Limerick in my head until I get the syllables correct.

I was doing Star Trek Limericks before this thread was started, so i have some practise at it.
 

Dave

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Since the Dwarf-lords left their halls of stone,
The Dark Lord's power has surely grown,
From Sauron's hand they'd cut the Ring,
Elendilâ's son and his Elven-king,
Drawn back again to the Dark Lords throne.
 

Dan Jones

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Lord of the Feet!

Galadriel's got pretty feet
And Gimli's got huge plates of meat
But Frodo for sure
Needs a good pedicure
After braving Orodruin's heat.
 

Boaz

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There once was a man named Amandil,
Who went to sea just like Earendil.
But his people were saved,
From the King, depraved,
By his tall son called Elendil.

And yet I think a limerick is supposed to be (or is more often than not) defined by vulgar humor.

Old Sam and Rosie got married,
Upon their honeymoon they tarried.
The Old Forest near Buckland,
All went just as planned.
But Sam harped on 'bout the nut he buried.

There was a noble elf named Celeborn,
Whose wife gave him scorn upon scorn.
He climbed up a tree,
And met a girl from Bree,
Who helped him to polish his horn.

A hobbit named Bob lost his denture,
He lamented before his trencher.
A lass winked from her hole,
She had buttered a roll,
And lunch became an adventure.
 

Dan Jones

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@Boaz I'm so pleased we've revived this thread after 13 years!

Gimli's plans of attacks
Mainly revolve 'round his ax.
His battleground tactics
Involve lots of slapstick
And he sent me this poem by fax.
 

Boaz

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Hilarious!

And you revived it, not me.

There was a poster, DG Jones,
Who was tired of threads made by clones.
His intincts he trusted,
And off he dusted,
A thread old and dry as bones.

Have you heard of old King Aragorn?
They say he had lots and lots of porn.
Upon his bookshelves,
Were stacked drawings of elves,
That had from The Red Book been.... torn.

Hmmmmm, what was Bilbo doing all those years in Rivendell?
 

Narkalui

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There once was a pervert named Bilbo
Who had penchant for elven elbow :s
Some drawings he made
In effort to get laid
Till Arwen's foot went right up his bimbo...
 

Boaz

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Uh....

Hunh......

Two posts in a row regarding Bilbo's ummmm... artistic endeavors...

Maybe I'll move on past the vulgar....

While traveling the road to Dunharrow,
I spied a bone laden wheelbarrow.
The man who was loadin'
Was old King Theoden.
He claimed he just wanted the marrow.
 

Boaz

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Sam went to the Hobbiton dance,
He thought that he might get a chance,
To twirl Rosie there.
But to his despair,
He ripped out the seat of his pants.
 
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