Okay, my turn.
She said to me once, "Everyone has a darkness inside of them. You can either accept that the darkness is there and try to keep it in check, or you can ingore and hope it doesn't pounce on you unexpectedly."
I couldn't help but ask, "What do you do?"
She shrugged, "I try to fight it sometimes. Other times, I simply let be there, being evil, I guess. I think I've got a tight enough leash on it to keep me from killing anyone."
"Yea, I'm not totally sure."
And that was the way she was. As frank with herself as she could possibly be. She wasn't bothered by her evil side, she just accepted it. I once said that she sayed as close to the line between light and dark as she could, because it was too hard for her to be at either extreme.
She really is a nice person though. As much as she hates to admit it.
Funny though, as much as we talked, I don't think she ever put me solidly under the category of "friend". I liked her, she like me, and I would have never done anything to hurt her, but she couldn't accept that. I don't think she knew how.
I once talked about this with one of the few people she called "friend".
"She's one of those people who, when she makes a friend, gives her heart to them," her friend said. "I have no doubt she would probably die in my place...but, strange thing, she wouldn't if I asked her not to. If I told her I wanted her to live and me to die, she would let me die. It would rip her heart to peices, but she would let me die."
"Really?" I asked.
"No. I don't know what she would do," her friend said. "She might just freeze up and not be able to say or do anything. But, boy, she sure gives impression she'd die for you. She acts tough, but she gets hurt so easily. Somehow it always comes back to her fault in her mind. She'd too hard on herself."
"I've noticed that. I've also noticed her eyes. They look they've got a thousand secrets in them and if you love her she'll tell you everyone one. It's just she'll never believe you really love her. It's like that song: 'She can ask for the truth but she'll never believe you.' Yea, that's her song."
"I couldn't tell you if she has a thousand secrets. I know she has a thousand stories, and maybe that's why her eyes look like that. But somehow, they never get told. Another thng about her is you may think she's on your side, but when you ask her she's not, and then it turned out she's been on your side all along. She an engima, especially to herself."
"Doesn't that make her..." I pointed my finger at my head and moved it in circles.
"Oh, you have no idea," her friend said. "But in a way, that's complicated too."
"Then why do you hang out with her?" I asked, "If it's all so complicated."
Her friend smiled, "Because if you give her the idea that you and she are on a quest, just as a joke mind you, she'd take the idea and run with it so far that she'd actually believe it was possible. And that's catching. Sometimes, when I she her walking into a sunset, I almost see a cloak around her shoulders and a sword in her hand. And when she turns around says, "Coming?" You can't very well say no."
Silence for a moment, "I don't know," her friend said. "Maybe I'm kidding myself. Who know why we hang with anyone anymore."