Fave Quotes

DCBastien

Sound and fury
Joined
Oct 20, 2000
Messages
2,693
Location
England
....have you all seen the out take where they are playing strip poker and kryten has nothing on.... and lister in his boxers... he puts down a gold cap on a tooth, Cat a silk handstitched hankie... and Kryten his hand and his head!!!! And he moves his hand in front of his head on the table to see his cards... and then Holyl says:
Holly: ABANDON SHIP! ABANDON SHIP!!!!!!
ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry you reminded me of it:)
 

Brit Chick

Ooh look - shiny things !
Joined
Jun 25, 2001
Messages
277
Do ya remember at the begining of each ep of the second series Holly used to do this monologue thingy

The one that springs to mind is 'we passed a moon last week that looked just like Felicity Kendal's bottom - we went round that one a few times !'

Wasn't that where - 'we're out of shake and vac' came from.
 

Jessa

aka Padfoot
Joined
May 9, 2001
Messages
2,862
more quoties!!!!:D

Krytie: Oh screw down my diodes and call me Frank!

Lister: i just thik u r a little too cocky for someone who has nevre actually met a real woman before

Cat: u ever heard of a aranium jerick?
Lister: no
Cat: it can do 150 pelvic thrusts a second!
Lister: so?
Cat: thats me in slow mo! Stick a Black and Decker drillon the end and i could go thro walls boy!
 

dreamwatch

Member
Joined
Dec 13, 2001
Messages
12
From memory, so forgive any inacuracies -

Kryten: They've taken Mister Rimmer, Sir they've taken Mister Rimmer!

Cat: Quick, let's get out of here before they bring him back!


Some of my faves have already been mentioned. :D
 

Jessa

aka Padfoot
Joined
May 9, 2001
Messages
2,862
lol, that one was really funny, i can remember every episode, i have them all on tape :D
 

Aing-Tii

gimboid goddess!
Joined
Jun 23, 2001
Messages
170
Just saw Waiting For God.....

"It is a sin to be cool." From the Cat Holy Book.

Lister: "Imagine making love to a woman with six breasts."
Rimmer: "Imagine making love to a woman!"

It's not a quote, but when Lister drags his face down the glass in the containment bay, well it is disgustingly hilarious!!!!


:star::D:star:
 

Brit Chick

Ooh look - shiny things !
Joined
Jun 25, 2001
Messages
277
OK, it's been season 5 weekend at our house:

'My name is Billy Doyle and my cologne is eau du yak urine'

'Duane Dibbly, nooooo, I don't wanna be Duane Dibbly'

The fantastic Timothy Spall cameo
'The Re-cu-per-ation Room'
'you must have been playing like puddings to only score 4%'
'what a bunch of twonks'

'Some poor old woman gets both barrels through the back of her crocheted bobble hat - and so ends the ballad of Billy 'Granny Killer' Doyle ....'


'I believe now is an apporpriate juncture for you to give me five Mr Lister Sir' - 'I can do better than that, Kryten, I can give you fifteen' yuk that was so gross - the severed hand

Is anything amis ?
No, Rimmer, No
So, I'm sitting here in a red and white checked gingham dress and you think thats unamiss

'The king of the potato people won't let me'

Sexual magnetism is a virus ?, quick get me to a hospital I'm a terminal case !


:lol:
 

Jessa

aka Padfoot
Joined
May 9, 2001
Messages
2,862
i was watching rd vids 2day cos i was off skool and they sheer me up, and it was the one with the justice zone and the killer android. i love that ep! it was so funny!


mainframe. the hologram know as rimmer. foung guilty for second degree murder.
Rimmer: murder? are you sure? i'd remember!
mainframe: aboard the mining ship Red Dwarf. 1???? accounts for neglecting to fix the drive plate.
rimmer: oh, THAT!
 

squire

Rock n Roll!
Joined
Feb 6, 2001
Messages
607
Rimmer - "We dont want him, go away! You can keep the smegger"

Lister "Wait a minute are you trying to tell me everybodys dead?"
Holly " I should never have let him out in the first place"

Cat "Oooooowww, the strings moving!!!"

heheheh

Lister "Souper" :D
 

Mishkaz

Gatefink
Joined
Oct 8, 2000
Messages
914
There's a great quote generator on the BBC's Red Dwarf site

http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/reddwarf/factbox/index.shtml

Here's todays special:

"As soon as I find the right small group of girls, the seven or eight women who are right for me, my wandering days are OVER buddy! "
- Cat, Parallel Universe

and another coz I can't stop now:

Cat: "Forget red - let's go all the way up to brown alert!"
Kryten: "There's no such thing as a brown alert sir."
Cat: "You won't be saying that in a minute!"
- Cat and Kryten, Back in the Red Pt 1

somebody stop me:

Time is a great healer. Unless it's a rash, then you're better off with ointment. "
- Holly, Back in the Red
 

Jessa

aka Padfoot
Joined
May 9, 2001
Messages
2,862
or this one :D :lol:

Bodyswap
Holly: We have three realistic alternatives: (1) Sit here and get blown up, (2) Stand here and get blown up, (3) Jump up and down, shout at me for not being able to think of anything, then get blown up. "

Inquisitor
Lister: "You're really mean with money. You're a tremendous physical coward. You once spent an afternoon on the Samaritans switchboard and four people commited suicide. Your middle name is Judas but you tell everyone that it's Jonathan. you sign all your official letters "Arnold Rimmer BSc" and the BSc stands for "Bronze Swimming Certificate". You're a cheating, weasley, low-life scumbucket with all the charm and social grace of a pubic louse. "

Stoke me a clipper
Ace Rimmer: "There'll be time for introductions later, and maybe some sex. "

Me2
Rimmer: "When the going gets tough, the tough go have a little cry in the corner. "

Demons and Angels
Rimmer: You're a toad, Rimmer. You're a weasel. You're a slimy, river-dwelling rodent with the morals of a praying mantis. "

Quarentine
Rimmer: "So... let me get this straight. You want to fly on a magic carpet to see the king of the potato people and you're telling me your completely sane? "
 

Jessa

aka Padfoot
Joined
May 9, 2001
Messages
2,862
White hole
Rimmer: " The thing about Captain Oates... the thing you have to remember about Captain Oates... Captain Oates... Captain Oates was a prat. "

Emohawk
Duane Dibley: "Just let me check: thermos, sandwiches, corn plasters, telephone money, dandruff brush, animal footprint chart, and one triple thick condom... you never know! "

White hole
Cat: "I'm not asking you to do anything I wouldn't do."
Rimmer: "You? You'd sacrifice your life for the good of the crew?"
Cat: "No! I'd sacrifice your life for the good of the crew."

Inquisitor
Lister: "Well, if you've got some amazing secret plan up your sleeve, Kryten, now's the time to mention it."
Kryten: "No plan, sir. No sleeves

Emohawk
Cat " Look what it did to me! It's turned me into Duane Dibbley - the Duke of Dork. "
 

DCBastien

Sound and fury
Joined
Oct 20, 2000
Messages
2,693
Location
England
Originally posted by Jessa

Emohawk
Duane Dibley: "Just let me check: thermos, sandwiches, corn plasters, telephone money, dandruff brush, animal footprint chart, and one triple thick condom... you never know! "
LOL but that one ^ makes me think of the Smeg Ups/Out where he just CAN'T get the line out!
 
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