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Of course, Judge. What I said was about this novel, not the Chronicles. I never thought of leaving or staying away from this site, it would be just silly. It's just that maybe I'm starting to depend a little too much from this place, and I'd better focus on rewriting by now. (Thanks for your...

You're right. I'm probably taking advantage of this community since it's the only source of critiques I have. There are no english speakers among my acquaintances, and I admit it's difficult to write steadily without any kind of support or advice. I'll be on my own for a while then, maybe it's...

Hm. I think you're right, Boneman. Maybe I'm worrying too much. Most of the details are important, yes, but they won't be needed anytime soon, or they're really nitpicks ('human'/alien appearance) I'd just like to feel coherent. What concerns me most is the dialogue being non-verbal. It's...

This is a difficult period... I had no time nor concentration for writing new things, so I spent some time reviewing what I've done so far. I think it somehow cleared my idea of the setting. I'm trying to give as much information as possible right from the start. I think it's the best way to go...

Mmm no, she's trying to figure out what could represent an obstacle. But you're right, I'll need to explicit her intentions in that passage. I always have this problem of leaving things 'between the lines'. Good then, I like that! He has both in his hands - he's just raising his shield...

I polished and rewrote, does it read better? I can't help but feel the pace's been compromised in the middle part. I also changed 'native language' into 'firekin language' as I needed to shed some light on the 'fiery heart' thing. I want to keep the passage fast-paced; the next parts will be...

Yes, that is intentional. I pictured her as one of the 'Firekin', and wanted to introduce her features little by little. Also, that's why I specified 'her native language' and such. Three good points, Mouse. Yeah, that's what happened to me too :) :rolleyes: I used pendant because it was...

I'd go for the question mark, but I'm probably not the one to trust in this case. Other nitpicks: This passage sounds odd, at least to me. If they are anthropomorphic beings with animal heads (as I suppose) they're definitely not human-like, but humanoid. And if they are sapient creatures...

I like it, though some of the background is unclear to me for obvious reasons. So. About the flow. I'd suggest to skim most of the adverbs out: there's a lot of them, especially in the beginning; some like 'slowly' are repeated too many times, others are unnecessary (he wakes up with a start...

Wrote this one right after waking up, for fun and practice. I'm slightly tempted with fantasy, but whatever I write inevitably feels deja-vu. :p And no, not that "It's not what you say, but how you say it!" flavored deja-vu; it's the hopeless, dreadful "Somewhere this has been put into a game of...

In no particular order. Most scenes in Blade Runner are stunning. My reaction to that movie never changes. I loved the first Matrix. The Neo vs. Morpheus fight set the bar high for all action movies to come. 2011 - A Space Odyssey. That cut had me catch my breath the first time I saw it. I...

Anime series... I liked Mushishi a lot, Ghost in the Shell and The Last Airbender. Samurai Champloo was good too, though I really can't understand Japanese humor in cartoons.

Sure, but they're certainly not reading your novel to nitpick about it. You're going to write a hard science fiction chronicle, so you will need a believable setup; but that shouldn't stop you from writing, which is most important. What I'm saying is that you won't be handling a scientific...

I can easily see the grinning Cheshire Cat filling Skellington's spot. I can bet I'll see something around soon. *ahem* I think I should stop with the vitriol. Actually, I liked Edward Scissorhands when I was 15.

I think the readers would be just as curious to know about it... see? It's easy :) You can do some research (there's plenty of information on the web!) to know how an environment could develop without sunlight. Many Terran lifeforms live in relative absence of light (moles, a great deal of...

I uh... honestly think Carroll is too much for Burton to handle. Really, he should aim low and keep going with movies like NBC or Corpse Bride. In that department, he's excellent. Little girls here are still buying purses with the skeleton's face on 'em.

I owe a lot to Chris, I'm sure many others will appreciate his help. That's what I generally do when commenting. I don't have the skills to be nit-picky, so I prefer to point out where I feel that something's wrong, or where the narrative can be improved to meet the reader's eye better. I think...

I entirely agree with Boneman on this one, especially about the 'classic evil' depiction of the woman. That said, one more page would let the readers gather some more information to develop their comments about. As it is, it's engaging enough to let the reader want more of it, but not enough to...

Tonight I dreamed about the world being taken over by mermaids. I mean horrible, aggressive mermaids with lamprey mouths. And I was into a small submarine, looking around what seemed to be a war zone, avoiding contact mines scattered everywhere. Quite scary.

Heheh! I say Ma-zol or sam'tn la'k dat. The Judge is right, anyway. You're referring more about dialect than accent in the OP.