Search results

"Pandora's box" makes perfect sense! That is definitely a possibility. To get to Earth, it would probably have to be some kind of rescue operation. Several Pandorans get kidnapped, and a rescue mission is launched... Then they discover the state of Earth, and discover a way to heal it.

Heading back to Earth is a great idea. Didn't think about the reverse Avatar concept. Would be kinda neat if they tried to save Earth. Perhaps they revitalize Earth with life from Pandora???

Yes, but where can they go with this? 1) The humans return to take back their mining operations 2) While searching for a new Home-tree, there is a feud between other tribes. or, my favorite: 3) A prequel to when the red flying creature (forget its name) was last used, and don't include humans...

Perhaps you could show rather than tell here. You could show his skill here: He reprogrammed the access codes to... This would make the second part of this sentence make sence. "As he did" didn't make sense with what you have preceding it.

I agree with you Vervain! Can't wait to see it released...

Things in parenthasis could be removed. Nathan let out yet another sigh as he surveyed the meagre trappings of his unkempt bedchamber. Taunton wasn’t exactly the centre of the Kingdom to begin with, and this room, in this secluded section of the castle made him feel (even more) isolated; today...

I noticed that there have been quite a few critiques but maybe this might help. I was confused when I read: A head that held no face and many glared into his eyes. It took me a few reads to figure out the meaning. Perhaps it need a little more depth A head that held no distictive face...

Hello everyone, I am sending my story off 15 hours from now. I made some last minute chages to a section and was wondering if the structure, content and grammar is up to snuff. Thanks :) ...

Thanks for your help BookStop, I'll give that a try.

I feel that this paragraph is a little too much telling. Does anyone have any ideas on how I can relay this information in a more consise manner, while keeping the main intent clear - which is -- that one should never underestimate the worth of a reject(or lost member) of a society...:rolleyes...

The way this reads, it implies that the families are moving the platforms physically:)

Things in parenthesis could be removed. Throughout his life, (the young boy named) Biggs had a reputation for always getting in trouble. From the time his legs were strong enough to allow him to walk, he had been the cause of his mother’s expanding gray hair, of which she fervently fought...

Into a Darkening Storm Chapter 1 - part1 It was 1dark. From the brief glimpses through the canopy overhead, Vicky saw the moon was a tiny sliver of white amongst the 2ebony 3blackness of the sky. The night was so 4dark 5not even the stars could be seen. It was the 6perfect night for someone...

Me and the guys usually meet up at the cafe: it’s something of a weekly ritual. And it’s not like we can afford to eat at the Plaza. Not with the amount of credits we get(how do they get them - earn - steal - beg - plunder - salvage, and definitely not by Thursday when we’ve used most of them...

Jane, Svala and Terrell have escaped from prison and are nearing Svala's village... Is the underlined bit needed? Any comments on grammar, word choice etc. would be greatly appreciated. Part 9 of 16 They heard commotion ahead, and as they turned the corner they found themselves staring at a...

The darkness waned as dawn approached. The encampment of Orks had spent the night howling at the new moon and enjoing in their drunken festivities. Varindill sat poised on a thick branch overlooking the scene, his bowstring out and a quiver of bows at the ready. This Ork band had slewn a...

The rabbit had calmed down considerably by the time Joe reached the Merrynether mansion. Wrapped snug and warm inside Joe's coat, it seemed untroubled by the bumpy cart ride as they neared the end of the long driveway. As if in submissive respect for nature, the magnificent Elizabethan house...

Jane, Svala and Terrell have just escaped from prison, having caused a massive explosion... Any help would be appreciated. 8 of 16 “We must hurry! There could be more of them at any moment,” Svala warned. Jane clutched onto...

She licked – calmly, maternally and affectionately each stroke easing her own pain(this could be placed somewhere in here?); hoping that somehow Synar would receive her grace. It felt like an eternity, but she laboured on, licking till her time came to a slow… unmoving… stop. To me, this makes...

Terrell, Jane and Svala have escaped from a prison cell and are almost out of the city... Does the action work for you? Part 7 of 16 Pressing past the twisted bars, they made their way down a deserted hallway and emerged onto a...