Discussion Thread -- September 2016 75-word Writing Challenge

Shyrka said:
First Impressions
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And here I thought I was a unique snowflake! Lucky I posted first, because I had nothing else. :)

They are amazingly similar, even down to the floating camera. I think your MC came with a nobler purpose, I wrote mine with the idea that they'd been pressured into it.
 
Here is my (ahem) 76 word story. I was surprised to see no one else went with the concept that the stage itself was what caused fear. Anyway, not my best work, but I liked the concept.

The Theater Can Really be a Bear

The music starts and I begin to dance. At first, I glide with grace and beauty, my steps sure and confident. Maybe this will happen. Maybe I'll succeed. The audience sits on the edge of their seats.

I falter on a pirouette. The ground becomes unsteady and strings of saliva drip from the ceiling. My foot slips and the crowd roars. Or is it the stage?

The teeth fall around me like curtains. The beast disapproves.
 
Cory Swanson said:
Here is my (ahem) 76 word story. I was surprised to see no one else went with the concept that the stage itself was what caused fear. Anyway, not my best work, but I liked the concept.

The Theater Can Really be a Bear

The music starts and I begin to dance. At first, I glide with grace and beauty, my steps sure and confident. Maybe this will happen. Maybe I'll succeed. The audience sits on the edge of their seats.

I falter on a pirouette. The ground becomes unsteady and strings of saliva drip from the ceiling. My foot slips and the crowd roars. Or is it the stage?

The teeth fall around me like curtains. The beast disapproves.
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Why not saliva strings instead of strings of saliva for 75?
 
Hindsight is 20/20. I would have shaved off a word somewhere if I had counted right.
 
Coast said:
They are amazingly similar, even down to the floating camera. I think your MC came with a nobler purpose, I wrote mine with the idea that they'd been pressured into it.
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Uncanny, isn't it? At one point, I even had eight billion, rather than seven. Spooky.

As far as noble intent goes, maybe - I was a little vague on that myself. My original inspiration for the MC was a character called Manga Khan from the old Justice League International comics of the eighties - he was essentially a despot but an amusingly introspective one. If you look at the original version of my story on my blog, he's rather less sympathetic. I ended up shifting to first person to give the MC a bit more emotion, justification and purpose and I felt it was an improvement. Then I saw your entry and realised I had to go with something else!
 
Cory Swanson said:
Here is my (ahem) 76 word story. I was surprised to see no one else went with the concept that the stage itself was what caused fear. Anyway, not my best work, but I liked the concept.

The Theater Can Really be a Bear

The music starts and I begin to dance. At first, I glide with grace and beauty, my steps sure and confident. Maybe this will happen. Maybe I'll succeed. The audience sits on the edge of their seats.

I falter on a pirouette. The ground becomes unsteady and strings of saliva drip from the ceiling. My foot slips and the crowd roars. Or is it the stage?

The teeth fall around me like curtains. The beast disapproves.
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This one, had it not gone away too quickly, would definitely have been on my shortlist -- and might have battled successfully for my vote. I was sad to see it go.

I've just realized I never got back to give humongous thanks to those lovely creatures who voted for me this month, TJ, HazelRah and StilLearning! Hugs and cake to you all. :D
 
And the associating of cake with story could only enhance the experience of character, truly the frosting on the... *sigh*... I'll never be as good at this sort of thing as Ursa. ;)
 
crawls in a bit tardy from being out with flu.
Cathbad said:
Cake!!!
Yoiks, I should'a voted TDZ!!
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Heijan Xavier said:
Why not saliva strings instead of strings of saliva for 75?
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quietly wheels in thank you cakes for each lovely voter.. just a little one each.
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and a few bickies.
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little cakes. maybe a choccie.
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and a little something to wet your whistle.
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for you, cheers! to all the lovely glorious
people who mentioned me, and voted for me and especially reviewed my story! I give you a party if I could!.
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and congratulations to johnny jet!! well deserved!
I know I didn't post a second place list. that's because everyone came in second place. I needed fifty votes for that particular challenge. it was lovely reading your stories. to that I say...
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goes back to having flu.
(making off with a bottle)
 

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Mad Alice said:
for you, cheers! to all the lovely glorious
people who mentioned me, and voted for me and especially reviewed my story! I give you a party if I could!.
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WWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

~gobble, gobble, gobble~
 
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