Cthulhu Fthagn, Comrade! Putin Weighs In On the Dreaming God.

[Curt Chiarelli]

And here we'd dismissed poor old Vladimir as little more than an unimaginative, mindless, fascist thug reliving his glory days with the KGB . . . .



Putin Weighs In on Robots, Sex Following Internet Conference

St. Petersburg Times

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

MOSCOW — Russia will use robots to defend its borders, and President Vladimir Putin does not remember the first time he had sex.

After wrapping up an online conference last Thursday, Putin took a few minutes to answer several of the most-popular questions sent in by Russian Internet users, Kommersant reported Friday. The two journalists who hosted the 130-minute webcast had largely ignored the top-rated questions submitted online from around the world, focusing instead on foreign and domestic policy issues.

“Yes, we will use the latest technical devices. Already now they are being stationed, for example, in the southern parts of our country,” Putin said when reporters asked him after the conference whether Russia planned to use “gigantic, humanoid war robots” to defend itself. Asked to elaborate about what he meant, Putin said: “These are unmanned aerial vehicles. And maybe the time will come for gigantic robots. However, so far we have put our main hope on people — namely border guards,” Putin said, Kommersant reported.

Asked about the possible awakening of the giant mythical octopus Cthulhu, the fourth-most popular question among the more than 150,000 sent to Putin, he said that he believed something more serious was behind the question. Cthulhu was invented by novelist H.P. Lovecraft and was said to be sleeping beneath the Pacific Ocean.

Putin said he viewed mysterious forces with suspicion and advised those who took them seriously to read the Bible, Koran or other religious books.

“When did you start to have sex?” Kommersant reporter, Andrei Kolesnikov then asked, verbalizing a question that was on the minds of 5,640 Internet users. “I don’t remember when I started. But I can remember the last time,” Putin said.



Here's the full transcript text of that online conference for those on the Chronic who're fluent in Russian:


Путин подозрительно относится к Ктулху, но готов доверить границу роботам

06 июля 2006 года, 20:35

Текст: Иван Карташев

6 июля, как и планировалось, Владимир Путин принял участие в интернет-конференции. Вопросы среди российских и зарубежных пользователей интернета в течение нескольких дней собирали "Яндекс" и сайт британской вещательной корпорации

BBC. За это время сайт конференции на "Яндексе" посетили почти миллион пользователей, задавшие 156824 вопроса. Сама конференция началась в 17:27, а завершилась около восьми часов вечера по московскому времени.

Поначалу многих посетителей виртуальной конференции ждало разочарование. Наиболее необычные вопросы президент на ней так и не услышал. Как следует из стенограммы, опубликованной "Яндексом", организаторы решили исключить вопросы, интерес к которым сочли завышенным из-за флэшмобов. Так что превед, Ктулху и роботы-пограничники на конференции не упоминались.

Единственным вопросом из тройки лидеров, который был задан президенту, касался удивившего всю страну поцелуя мальчика Никиты в живот. Вопрос задал ведущий телеканала Russia Today Александр Гурнов. Президент прокомментировал его так: "Он [Никита] мне показался очень самостоятельным, знаете, очень серьезным. И в то же время ребенок всегда незащищенный, и очень милый был мальчишка. Скажу Вам по-честному, просто захотелось его так потискать, как котенка, но вот это желание вылилось в тот жест, о котором Вы упомянули". "То есть чистая эмоция?" - уточнил Гурнов. "Да. Ничего за этим просто нет," - сказал Путин.

Остальные вопросы касались в основном проблем внутренней и внешней политики от запуска корейских ракет, встречи Большой восьмерки, поставок газа и ядерной программы Ирана до проблем армии, пенсий, доступного жилья и наркомании. Уделил президент внимание и взаимоотношениям с Грузией и Украиной, и трудностям с получением российских виз. Коснулся президент и темы охраны границы, правда, без участия гигантских роботов.

Впрочем, необычные вопросы президент все же услушал. Как сообщает РИА "Новости", уже после завершения конференции их задали ему журналисты. Например, на очень популярный вопрос о том, будут ли российскую границу охранять гигантские человекоподобные роботы президент ответил так: "Может быть, дойдет и до роботов. Но без участия человека это невозможно. Главное - это пограничник". Прозвучал из уст журналистов и вопрос о пробуждении Ктулху. На него Путин ответил, что с подозрением относится к потусторонним силам.

Кроме того, президент пообещал ответить на некоторые вопросы виртуально, на своем сайте.



Okay, now for the really weird development to this Slavic take on the Mythos: Our Russian friends are minting a duet of medallions celebrating good old Squidface!

Here they are with a five kopek coin included for scale. The silver one with the golden filigree costs approximately $96.00 USD, while the pure silver medallion costs $77.00 USD.

 

[GOLLUM]

Amazing stuff, I remain speechless....

 

[Nesacat]

I knew there was a very good reason for generally liking Putin. Now we need the same sort of news report for Koizumi and Greenspan.

 

[Curt Chiarelli]

Apparently, the Russians take the Mythos quite seriously. I've heard many reports that not only is Lovecraft's work widely admired as literature, but many really are convinced that his fictional creations were real.

Ladies and Gentlemen (and the sociologists amongst us here at the Chronic), you are looking at the incipient stages of a new world religion . . . .

And as for Putin, what a typical conservative autocrat . . . . recommending the old standbys like the Bible in lieu of the delights of At the Mountains of Madness. One thing is for certain: We're glad his day job in politics is working out for him because he'd make a lousy literary critic.

 

[j d worthington]

Apparently, the Russians take the Mythos quite seriously. I've heard many reports that not only is Lovecraft's work widely admired as literature, but many really are convinced that his fictional creations were real.

Ladies and Gentlemen (and the sociologists amongst us here at the Chronic), you are looking at the incipient stages of a new world religion . . . .

And as for Putin, what a typical conservative autocrat . . . . recommending the old standbys like the Bible in lieu of the delights of At the Mountains of Madness. One thing is for certain: We're glad his day job in politics is working out for him because he'd make a lousy literary critic.

I've heard that the Russians have long taken the Old Gent's work to heart... in fact, early on, there was a pirated edition of much of his work, if I recall correctly, as early as the 1950s/1960s....

As for this being the start of a new world religion... I wouldn't be terribly surprised. There has long been a trend to view HPL's writings as true in one form or another (either literally or as allegories of genuine supernatural forces); I've met a handful of such people, one as early as 1980. So it really wouldn't be much of a surprise to me at all....

 

[Curt Chiarelli]

But here's the silver lining to this particular cloud, J.D.: Yeah, another pantheon of superstitious rubbish will congest the intellectual byways of human thought, but this time we can cash in on it! Think about the possibilities! We can charter our own branch of the Esoteric Order of Dagon in our local neighbourhoods. Star in a televangelical shows devoted to Nyarlathotep. Think of the groupies! The Barbara Walters interviews!

The big hurtle for me will be in trying to keep a straight face through it all! Another will be that since, categorically, we're all for bringing eternal darkness down upon Earth, the next logical step will be to make large G.O.P. Party war chest contributions every election. And that, for me, is where I draw the line, mister!

 

[Nesacat]

*Practises keeping a straight face ... fails and decides the Innsmouth women had the right idea when it came to going about veiled*

 

[Curt Chiarelli]

*Practises keeping a straight face ... fails and decides the Innsmouth women had the right idea when it came to going about veiled*

LOL! Yeah, no Women's Lib for you good ladies of Innsmouth!

 

[Lobolover]

Plus points,id love to have that small change,it'd surely turn a few heads in th store.