Improving our 75 Word Stories -- READ FIRST POST

[Mr Orange]

thanks @Luiglin, very useful comments - that's 2-0 for missing the intended meaning entirely

 

[Parson]

@Mr Orange .... I found myself interested, but I hadn't a clue what was going on, or what the setting was, or what the danger was, or if the dragon was a help or a horror. I would not count this a story at all, it was more like a part of a scene.

 

[Mr Orange]

cheers @Parson, that's 3-0. seems conclusive

 

[Marvin]

I just read it through again and I belive we are talking about heroin abuse. Chasing the Dragon? Sorry I missed that on the first read. A better tale when in context perhaps?

 

[Hugh]

Strangely, I thought I understood it on my read throughs before voting, but now I haven't the faintest idea what that understanding was. I may have come to the same conclusion as @Marvin but I can't say for sure.

 

[M. Robert Gibson]

@Mr Orange put me down for going cold turkey and 'chasing the dragon' (the story that is, not me personally )

 

[paranoid marvin]

I just read it through again and I belive we are talking about heroin abuse. Chasing the Dragon? Sorry I missed that on the first read. A better tale when in context perhaps?

This is the impression I got having re-read. Tbh I didn't get it first time round.

 

[Mr Orange]

thanks all, so by my reckoning it's 5-2 for missing the meaning on the first reading - @paranoid marvin and @Marvin i'm putting you down as missing the point, @Hugh as getting it.

it was meant to be about chasing the dragon (i.e. drug abuse). seems it wasn't clear enough. and reading it without the underlying meaning i can see how it doesn't really make sense.

 

[Parson]

thanks all, so by my reckoning it's 5-2 for missing the meaning on the first reading - @paranoid marvin and @Marvin i'm putting you down as missing the point, @Hugh as getting it.

it was meant to be about chasing the dragon (i.e. drug abuse). seems it wasn't clear enough. and reading it without the underlying meaning i can see how it doesn't really make sense.

Some of us were never into the drug scene, or really knew anyone who was, and that allusion went 100,000 miles over my head.

 

[Mr Orange]

fair enough @Parson. i had thought the phrase "chasing the dragon" was pretty well known and that drug taking had been portrayed sufficiently in media to get the meaning, but i guess not.

 

[Parson]

fair enough @Parson. i had thought the phrase "chasing the dragon" was pretty well known and that drug taking had been portrayed sufficiently in media to get the meaning, but i guess not.

No problem. I make similar assumptions about Biblical knowledge and have similar results more than I care to admit.

 

[Wayne Mack]

chasing the dragon (i.e. drug abuse).

"Chasing the dragon" was a phrase I had never heard before. Perhaps it never took root in the US. Cultural references that I have thought were well known have tripped me up in the past.

 

[paranoid marvin]

"Chasing the dragon" was a phrase I had never heard before. Perhaps it never took root in the US. Cultural references that I have thought were well known have tripped me up in the past.

Tbh I thought it had something to do with opium. I think I remember it being referred to in a Sherlock Holmes book or tv/movie adaptation.

 

[Mr Orange]

cheers all. the phrase chasing the dragon refers to inhaling heated drug vapour. i think it originated from opium use but now refers to any drug you can ingest this way. so there you go, some extra knowledge for you all.

by the way i'd like to point out my knowledge is not first hand!

 

[JS Wiig]

@Mr Orange knowing what I know now makes it a compelling piece. Had that been clear to me from the get-go I’m guessing it would have been much higher in my personal rankings.

 

[Luiglin]

cheers all. the phrase chasing the dragon refers to inhaling heated drug vapour. i think it originated from opium use but now refers to any drug you can ingest this way. so there you go, some extra knowledge for you all.

by the way i'd like to point out my knowledge is not first hand!

Just done a quick net search...

'Chasing the dragon' was a later refinement of this form of heroin smoking, originating in or near Hong Kong in the 1950s,

Interesting, I thought it it originated from the 19th century opium dens rather than the post war era.

 

[Bren G]

I'd love a critique on mine if there are any takers. Nary even a mention it garnered. I didn't think it was that bad but I guess we all love our babies don't we . I thought perhaps that it was risky given it was unlikely anyone would know that CJ-20 jetfighter is named 'The Dragon'. I didn't before I wrote it. I suspect that was part of it but please fire away (pun intended)!

A NEW WORLD ORDER

Hawking was right about aliens. Aggressive like us, but better weapons. Like Cortez’s Spaniards, the small lizard horde massed below, their armor glinting in the waning sunlight, preparing for the final charge. We, the last North Americans, steeled ourselves, and prepared to die.

A thunderclap broke through the heavens, followed by shouts from our ranks:

“Chengdu J-20s!”

“Oh, the mighty dragons!”

“The Chinese!”

Eyes raised, we watched triumphally as rockets rained hell upon our foe.

 

[Luiglin]

I'd love a critique on mine if there are any takers. Nary even a mention it garnered. I didn't think it was that bad but I guess we all love our babies don't we . I thought perhaps that it was risky given it was unlikely anyone would know that CJ-20 jetfighter is named 'The Dragon'. I didn't before I wrote it. I suspect that was part of it but please fire away (pun intended)!

A NEW WORLD ORDER

Hawking was right about aliens. Aggressive like us, but better weapons. Like Cortez’s Spaniards, the small lizard horde massed below, their armor glinting in the waning sunlight, preparing for the final charge. We, the last North Americans, steeled ourselves, and prepared to die.

A thunderclap broke through the heavens, followed by shouts from our ranks:

“Chengdu J-20s!”

“Oh, the mighty dragons!”

“The Chinese!”

Eyes raised, we watched triumphally as rockets rained hell upon our foe.

I'm a bad one for this issue and I'm going point out something that sounds daft but makes sense. Well, to me anyway.

The tale itself is fine. What let it down for me is that you mention the last North Americans. This gave me an instant image of a rag tag army of soldiers, police, civilians etc. The issue though is would these have recognised that specific fighter? Army, yes but the rest, I'd suggest not. For me, with real world stuff, even though it is fantasy/dystopian/sci-fi, it has to have a basis in reality.

Now, if you'd showed the Chinese fighters coming over the horizon like mythical dragons then that would have had a thumbs up from me.

I hope that makes sense.

 

[Bren G]

I'm a bad one for this issue and I'm going point out something that sounds daft but makes sense. Well, to me anyway.

The tale itself is fine. What let it down for me is that you mention the last North Americans. This gave me an instant image of a rag tag army of soldiers, police, civilians etc. The issue though is would these have recognised that specific fighter? Army, yes but the rest, I'd suggest not. For me, with real world stuff, even though it is fantasy/dystopian/sci-fi, it has to have a basis in reality.

Now, if you'd showed the Chinese fighters coming over the horizon like mythical dragons then that would have had a thumbs up from me.

I hope that makes sense.

Ah.. interesting @Luiglin and that makes total sense. I really like your ending too! If only I had thought of it!

 

[JS Wiig]

@Bren G I guess my question would be what happened to the North American air force that didn’t seem to affect the Far East air force? And the fighters would have to be stationed in North America, as I don’t suppose they would have the range to traverse the Pacific. I suppose one could appreciate the irony of all this given the recent history of the China-America military relationship.