dreamwalker
Starship Manufacturer
- Joined
- Aug 6, 2005
- Messages
- 349
That's a fair comment.My first impression was that there were two grammatical errors in the first line and I wouldn't explore further. Harsh, I know - but if a site hasn't been proofread it makes me feel it's not professionally put together. Since the pictures and ideas were awesome, this would be a real pity.
Within this wall beats the heart of an empire, within this radius lays - lies, I assume? the mind of Sol’s youngest child.
This is The Ark; cornerstone of Arkaedian civilisation. It’s - Its continuing construction has consumed thousands of worlds over tens of thousands of years in a project that will one day see it’s - its host star encapsulated - is this the right word? Normally I think of a summary? by a sphere of Iron and Graphite.
I'm probably the worst person to proof read my own work. I tend to read what I expect to see instead of what is actually written. Combine that with some dyslexia and I could re-read my own work 5 or 10 times, failing to correct basic spelling and grammatical mistakes. Where and were, their and there, It's and its are common ones that, despite knowing the rules, I tend to completely over look mostly because when I write, I tend to write in one big flow, a couple thousand words or so at a time with.
I would too, I want to focus on the art and the concepts for now as they will greatly influence the type of story and characters I'd like to write.I would be very interested in reading some of your work, you are clearly putting a great deal of time and energy into building your universe.
This is one of my better passages from the main novel in deep development/procrastination.
Cellishi sat, with only her eyes moving as the meeting began to devolve. Physical members exited through the shadowed entrances of the long room as the lingering traces of the none-physical participants evaporated, taking with them most of the tension that had inevitably raised the temperature of what was already a crisis meeting. A dozen or so contributors remained, mentally sorting meeting notes and in whispered discussions with one another over the highlights. Cellishi had a narrow, softly angular face beset by long, straight raven black hair. It was a face that rested on a pencil-long neck, supplemented by a pair of steepled arms braced on the table. Her almond eyes shone in the sparse glints of light that emanated from scattered work surfaces on the table.
She tracked her target, one of the grey haired department heads across the width of the room who sat in talks with yet another person considerably older than herself. She had already been, and was still being briefed on the changes that were taking place and as a result, without resorting to the type of sonic or empathic eves dropping she was very capable of, already knew of what their discussion entailed. ‘At least I can predict this, cause followed by effect.’ she thought sullenly as she emitted a brief, bright, nimbus of anguish. Self-consciously, the emotion was extinguished just as conversations in the room paused and heads turned. At that moment Cellishi had just become acting head of Temporal Operations. Their discussion ended, the two heads bowed in a customary sign of contrition and respect. Shortly afterwards the previous head of Temporal Operations stood and approached Cellishi on his way to the exit.
“Good luck.” He said. Cellishi shivered as a waft of air caused by her hastily departing ex-boss washed over her. The other mans eyes locked on her from across the table meters away. Telepathically, she received his ‘you have yet to earn my candour’ emote. It was something that told her that this was not going to be a vocal discussion. She had half expected it. Perhaps he was still in the process of letting off steam. Or, perhaps it was because she was on probation. For as there was around a thousand years worth of age, experience and culture between her and the grey haired man pivoted fully towards her, it was hard for Celeshi to know.
“It is now your job to find out everything about Hypercolour thing, who or what or where it comes from…” 'Are they now seriously beginning to consider exotic origins?…’ she thought as her boss continued “…to find out how we did not see this coming, and to make sure that this can never happen again. The NPG, Wayok is going to join your team and you will have access to every resources that you may need. I do not need to remind you that failure is not an option, especially if the timeline of your model, which has been the only model to bare any semblance to reality I might add, is correct.”
“I understand.” Cellishi replied, effectively accepting a new contract, internal notifications blinked, security clearance rose, department documentation and new files flooded her once tranquil inbox as her new boss began to stand and wheel away.
“You’ll get a more indepth briefing from Nlaide Intel and Arkaedian Strategic Command within the hour. In the meantime, get yourself familiar with your new department.” He sub-vocalised, carrying with it the lightest empathic hints of support and understanding. It hit Cellishi like a warm tide as she tilted to rest her back against the chair, a hundred tonnes lighter and with the daybreak of confidence emerging from the gloom. 'The millennials or at least one of them, where still human after all it seemed' Cellishi thought as her boss left the room. Cellishi collected herself and for a few moments attempted the same cerebral note shifting as a hand full the remaining members of the room had been concentrating on.
She had been on this world for less than a year. After joining Temporal Operations she had been annexed to other ad-hoc operations for something approaching half that time. Her plans for career progression via annexation had been wildly successful, frighteningly successful even. If only the context was different, she may have even felt pleased and proud instead of dizzy and sick. After a few moments of contemplation on this turn of events, she stood and exited the room.
---
Wayok stood alone on a balcony overlooking a volcanic fissure dividing a vast tundra. As his hybrid biology kept in check external conditions that would have rendered normal flesh frozen, his eyes gazed deep into a violet sky divided diagonally by a silver, cosmic ring. Ahead where the Arcologies, mega cities contained within single enclosures of steel and glass with dimensions measured in the kilometres. The dark mottled spires sliced into sky piercing a thin blanket of cloud whilst below, skyways criss-crossed the gulf between volcanic canyon walls like exposed tree roots. The arcologies were home to millions and where the only significant population of humans that lived on the frigid world.
Wayok’s view swept across to the silver band that split the sky. The ribbon-like structure that gleamed listlessly in the day light existed beyond the atmosphere and was very much a universe separate to the ice planet reality Wayok resided on. Over there, existed a hundred trillion humans, pan-humans, trans-humans, post-physical humans, tiered, involved, elders and founders on a ring world that encapsulated a star, and within a virtual world that was limitless. Both in the real and in the virtual, the ‘Ark’ was Arkaedos, its heart and mind. Cradle for some, destination for others, a living breathing heaven and hell. It was the cornerstone of a beautifully elegant system who’s reach spanned a thousand light years in every direction. This was not the first time Wayok had fully appreciated this sky. It was how he gained his sense of perspective, his release to the scale of all things from a career that often saw him focus obsessively on molecular detail. He was in passive connection to every open mind and construct within the star system, billions of thoughts, sights and emotions, all real and all evolving.
Through their eyes he could see the Halcyon from the grandest of scales, an insignificant fleck of white dust against a slender 'O', tidally locked in it’s orbit around it’s host star. As his view expanded, Halcyon disappeared into the thin activity fuzz of interstellar traffic that gave aura to the halo world whilst perpetual streams of eviscerated earths produced wisps of dust that spiralled from stellar heliopause to loop world edge. Lightyears away from the Ark system were hundreds of inhabited planets, a fraction of these offered facilities and services uniquely important to the Ark, whilst the overwhelming majority lay undisturbed by the grand machinery of interstellar civilisation. These were known as the Independents. They were insular worlds that between them offered almost every model of sustainable lifestyle imaginable. Between and beyond the Independents, lay thousands of artificial habitats; Hubs, Universaries, Shards and Rivens, each between a few hundred and tens of thousands of kilometres across. At this scale Arkaedian civilisation appeared to be perpetual, uninterruptible, but here he stood, on a colony designed for governance, on a day where one of the founding rules was broken by the very person who wrote it, during a meeting that should never have taken place.
“Congrats?”
“Thank you, I think.” Cellishi replied.
“How are you Cellishi?”
“****ting it. You?”
Wayok smiled. “Oh I know the feeling, but it’s good to see you again.”
“Confident that you can crack this thing for me?”
“Nope.” Wayok said with his smile turning wry.
“Great, I see we’re off to a great start.” Cellishi continued “I mean, when you’re confident, then I really get worried.”
“Hey! I never said that this is an exact science, I suppose nothing really is - anyway this is a whole new level of ‘what the f*ck’ this time.”
Cellishi sighed, “I know.” She paused. “Want to meet your new department?”
“I’m almost done.” Wayok said. Cellishi replied with the telepathic equivalent of a nod before continuing to observe. Cellishi, like most Arkaedians had a single name that was wholly unique to her. Eight characters formed the vocal component whilst images, sounds, emotions and a scent combined to create a compound name of engrams that could only ever relate to who she was and the life she had lived. As a result, her name changed over time; at 8 years, Cellishi Deistahl-Blossom (scent), sunlight-bright (sight), breakfast lover, sleep snatcher (engam) formed the components of her name. At 25, Cellishi, far-seer, still road-pounding, ever-sunlight bright. And now at 45, Cellishi, time-master, ever-road-pounding, shine-thinker, starlight-bright, stood with arms folded, overlooking Wayok and the valley, raven hair buffeting vigorously as gales swept over the exposed ledge.
“What are you doing?”
“I wanted to be on the exterior of the Interior for a while, for fresh air and fresh thoughts amongst other things.” Wayok said. Arkaedian Interior was the agency both Wayok and Cellishi worked for. Like all things secret and Arkaedian, most of civilisation knew with a nod and a wink to such a things likely existence. Even the world Halcyon, most thinking people would suspect to be where such an organisation would be placed. Access severely restricted and with a personality density sparse for even a small moon, the Halcyon sat within the civilisations centre, host to an organisation who’s name followed all but function. Although Arkaedian Interior’s focus was Arkaedos itself, it did so in the context of external threats. Designed specifically to prevent, and failing that, counter existential threats to a civilisation of over two hundred trillion personalities. The Interiors remit was vast. Only 3 other aspects of Arkaedian Civilisation had a remit to responsibilities or resources as all-encompassing and none of those operated in the shadows. Cellishi was strictly conscious of one of those organisations requiring a briefing with her soon and after letting part of her time pressured impatience bleed. Wayok responded, “Ok, alright, lead the way.”
Cellishi and Wayok had worked with each other several times before during their department annexation, case studies in the rise and fall of various disparate factions within Arkaedian fringe, proposals for the subjugation of some of the more serious of these groups - standard stuff for the Interior at the time. They got on well, or more at least, than just the comfort of familiarity. Perhaps it was their age difference, or lack their of, within a culture that enabled physical lifespans that would have seemed fantastical to prehistoric man, and post physical existences that could be real ‘eternal life’ although rarely ever so in practise. As Cellishi stood back inside she wasn’t sure what was worse, the lightness in her head or the lead in her stomach, it was a job that, if she honestly asked herself, she had always wanted. Over a year ago she was scratching for funds to continue her research, unsure of whether she could continue her work within the Temporal Sciences. Now she was the 10th most senior person within one of the most powerful organisations of all of human history. However, context was everything.
“New school feeling?” Wayok said as they walked through one of the many daylight deficient corridors within the complex.
“No, more like a very long term break… Though leaving as a pupil and returning as the headmaster.”
“I suppose that’s more accurate.” Wayok said under a grin. “Any big speeches planned? Messages of encouragement?” Cellishi’s stomach turned as lead shifted uncomfortably under the intended irony of Wayok’s comment.
“Do you know what they call my model? They have nicknames for it you know. The ‘Oh sh*t’ Model, the ‘I hope she’s wrong model’ and my favourite, The ‘Kacylis Model’.”
“Right now, it’s ‘The Only Model That Works’ model. You shouldn’t forget that, and you shouldn’t let them forget it either.”
“How can I? It’s the only reason why I’ve been hoisted to department head so rapidly, I know that, they know that.” Cellishi said snapping into Wayoks last sentence, for a moment there was silence with Wayok emitting a faint aura of understanding and concern. As the width of corridor increased, a hall dozens of meters deep appeared, beyond which, dozens of floors could be seen stretching above. “Welcome to Temporal Op’s.” Cellishi said as Wayok’s eyes widened. Sunlight streamed from a translucent canopy. On each level a glass lipped balcony looped the edge of the opening. He could discern over a thousand people in space directly in-front and above. The wash of thoughts and conversations filled the space with the din of gossip. There was some consistency to their emotions with the strongest theme being an unsurprising nervous apprehension. Cellishi slowed to a stop to press against the balcony as she emitted a soft telepathic chime. People congregated to the balconies of each level as the noise levels fell. Cellishi shifted for a moment trying to decide what some of her role models would say at this moment. Encouragement? Hard-headedness? What type of leader did she want to be? For several days it was all she had thought about and yet she still had no answer. As complete silence fell, she cleared her mind and spoke.
“Let me start with the truth.” Cellishi said. “The very fact that I’m here means that we have been very wrong… We’ve f***ed up. People have died… With many more to follow in a war we now know we can no longer prevent, and in a future we do not yet understand.” Absolute silence remained. ‘Hard-ass it is then’ Cellishi thought to her inner-self ‘I think it suits me.’ She continued. “The very existential crisis the Interior was designed to prevent has arrived. One way or another, the era of Temporal Operations is coming to an end. That is a certainty, another is that whilst I’m in command, we will not stumble blindly into the apocalypse, you will no longer be squandered on self comforting pretences. Our eyes will be open.” She paused, ‘Perhaps too hard-assed?’ she assessed, feeling Wayok’s mild bemusement echoed in the empathic bleeds of some below. “One week, one course correction, that is all we will have. So make it a big one, make it the right one, as Arkaedian Civilisation may not face a larger test.” She paused briefly to fix a sweeping glance at the people around her. Then turned and briskly walked back to her office. Telepathically she asked Wayok who was walking away in the opposite direction. “So, how was that?”
“Oh, you’ve totally scared the sh*t out of everyone. If that was your intention then... Success?.” Wayok replied. “So, it’s that bad?”
“Yes, I’m afraid it is. Front row seats to the end of the world, I hope you like them."Chellishi replied drily before switching to a less sarcastic tone. "Some of your team might already be here, the rest should be arriving before the end of the day.”
“Thanks, I’ll me you know if you need anything.” Wayok said disappearing into one of the many alcoves within the hall.
