I've been working on a front cover, so my mind turned to what might go on the back. All comments and suggestions welcome, whether you already know about the story or not.
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For two years, freedivers Orc and Cass have searched for a way to recover their magically hidden memories, without which they cannot have a future together. Blackmailed into joining an expedition to a distant island, they believe their luck might be about to turn when they learn that beneath the island’s sunken ziggurat lies an ancient artefact that might help them.
But also on the expedition is the occultist Lucien Daroguerre, who knows a truth about them they could never guess, and who intends to use that knowledge to perform the greatest magical working since the Flood. A power from the dawn of human thought is gathering beneath the fragile surface of the industrial world — and if Orc and Cass don’t work out who to trust, they will be its first victims.
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One thing I'm not sure about is the word "industrial" -- I did have "modern", but though the world is modern to them, it probably suggests too much that it's going to be 21stC. Any ideas on this?
Also, I'm not fond of "a truth about them they could never guess" but most of the alternatives I tried (such as "a secret about them") weren't clear enough that this was something O&C don't themselves know.
Lastly, if you do know the story, is there anything I've left out that might make it more enticing without overcooking it?
_____
For two years, freedivers Orc and Cass have searched for a way to recover their magically hidden memories, without which they cannot have a future together. Blackmailed into joining an expedition to a distant island, they believe their luck might be about to turn when they learn that beneath the island’s sunken ziggurat lies an ancient artefact that might help them.
But also on the expedition is the occultist Lucien Daroguerre, who knows a truth about them they could never guess, and who intends to use that knowledge to perform the greatest magical working since the Flood. A power from the dawn of human thought is gathering beneath the fragile surface of the industrial world — and if Orc and Cass don’t work out who to trust, they will be its first victims.
_____
One thing I'm not sure about is the word "industrial" -- I did have "modern", but though the world is modern to them, it probably suggests too much that it's going to be 21stC. Any ideas on this?
Also, I'm not fond of "a truth about them they could never guess" but most of the alternatives I tried (such as "a secret about them") weren't clear enough that this was something O&C don't themselves know.
Lastly, if you do know the story, is there anything I've left out that might make it more enticing without overcooking it?