Well, that's Otter for you.
I have another couple of different approaches I'm going to sit on for a few days, and I'll post one or both of them here if they stand up. Thanks all for the phase 1 feedback.
The Goddess Project blurb attempt
- Thread starter HareBrain
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Well, that's Otter for you.
I have another couple of different approaches I'm going to sit on for a few days, and I'll post one or both of them here if they stand up. Thanks all for the phase 1 feedback.
Ok, taking the best bits from a number of the above suggestions, and a couple of my own tweaks, I've come up with this:
Orc and Cass wake half-drowned on a beach in an unfamiliar world, where spirit animals grant visions, and a goddess sleeps beneath the sea, waiting for her Sun King to awaken her. With their memories shrouded by unknown magic, the teenagers must trust on instinct, and in a world of occultists and imperialist war, they are valuable sources of power to the unscrupulous.
Blackmailed by a powerful magician, betrayed by friends and hunted by a monk and his fanatic warrior apprentice, they find themselves part of a plot that will threaten the whole world.
Searching for the truth, they join an expedition to acquire an artefact from a sunken ziggurat -- an artefact, they are promised, that contains the answer to their identities.
But a power from the dawn of human thought is gathering beneath the fragile surface of the workaday world — and if Orc and Cass don’t figure out who to trust, they will be its first victims.
Orc and Cass wake half-drowned on a beach in an unfamiliar world, where spirit animals grant visions, and a goddess sleeps beneath the sea, waiting for her Sun King to awaken her. With their memories shrouded by unknown magic, the teenagers must trust on instinct, and in a world of occultists and imperialist war, they are valuable sources of power to the unscrupulous.
Blackmailed by a powerful magician, betrayed by friends and hunted by a monk and his fanatic warrior apprentice, they find themselves part of a plot that will threaten the whole world.
Searching for the truth, they join an expedition to acquire an artefact from a sunken ziggurat -- an artefact, they are promised, that contains the answer to their identities.
But a power from the dawn of human thought is gathering beneath the fragile surface of the workaday world — and if Orc and Cass don’t figure out who to trust, they will be its first victims.
Like that. Only quibble might be the Sun King/goddess bit. If it's revealed early on, then fair enough.
No, it's not. Might want to drop that bit.
Dusty's is good and conveys the essence of the world but it still seems:
a) a bit too long
b) to miss the key Macguffin, which is Orc and Cass's relationship. IMO that is the hook to the whole book and you've got to have it front and centre in your blurb somehow.
Out of curiosity/nosiness, have you received any further requests from agents, HB, or is this exercise in blurbing a clue that you're heading towards SPing it?
a) a bit too long
b) to miss the key Macguffin, which is Orc and Cass's relationship. IMO that is the hook to the whole book and you've got to have it front and centre in your blurb somehow.
Out of curiosity/nosiness, have you received any further requests from agents, HB, or is this exercise in blurbing a clue that you're heading towards SPing it?
SPing has been a possibility for a while, and I want to have the ducks lined up, as things like cover design and blurb haunt my nightmares and would cause me much procrastination if I didn't already have them done. After thinking up a decent cover concept in the middle of the night a couple of weeks ago, I wanted to get a blurb done too. And I think I now have (as you'll have seen in the other thread), bar a few tweaks.
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