SleepyDormouse
dreaming away....
- Joined
- Jan 10, 2011
- Messages
- 239
I don't think I will ever be completely happy with the start of my wip, but this is my latest attempt that I am happier with than previous - it is completely different! It is a middle grade. I would appreciate any comments on it.
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Kendric wished that being tall also made him strong. You’d think being a carpenter’s son and apprentice would give him muscled arms, but his thin arms ached with fatigue. Once again he grabbed the end of a long branch and pushed it as high as his trembling arms could manage, trying to ignore the shouts of pain from his shoulders. As his left hand slipped on the wet bark a tendril of doubt entered his mind. Had he and his friends had set themselves too hard a task? If they didn’t manage to lift the branch high this time that would be it, he had no energy left to try again. Last chance. He shifted his hand for a better grip and tried to see where the branch met the tree, was it lined up for the fork? Just a bit higher. He strained harder and felt his boots start to slide in the mud.
“Now” he shouted, and threw his weight into one final push. From behind his friends shoved hard. The branch surged forwards,its gnarled end catching for a moment on the rough bark of the trunk, then with a shudder that threw them all off balance it slid into place. Kendric staggered forwards a few steps then fell, hands splayed, in cold, squelchy mud and decaying leaves.
He lay on the ground for a moment, the woodland’s familiar earthy smell filling his nostrils as he took in a long slow breath. Then he pushed himself up and wiped his hands on his trousers. Marley and Holt lay next to him, their woollen tunics and trousers covered in mud.
“We did it!” Kendric said. “Finally!” The long, heavy branch had needed all three of them to drag it from where they found it, then lift one end and wedge into the fork of the tree. But it had been worth it as now they had a really sturdy, and tall, support for their new den.
“Told you!” Marley said, springing to his feet with a wide grin on his face. “Easy peasy.” Maybe for you, thought Kendric, remembering that he had had the hardest job of getting the branch in place, being tallest.
“It would,” Holt said, still lying on the floor gazing dreamily through the canopy of leaves to the sky beyond. “Have been even easier with magic.”
Kendric and Marley froze. Kendric’s ears strained for any noise as he scanned the gaps between the grey trunks for movement. Their secret, hidden place in the woods suddenly felt very exposed. Anyone could be walking past and have overheard. Wishing to have magic was just about the worst thing anyone could do. Silence stretched on a moment longer, and then a blackbird started singing nearby, breaking the spell. The woodland was empty, of humans at least. The tension drained out of the air.
“Easier for you, you mean, if you could turn us into mindless slaves to do the hard work for you!” Marley said.
“It wouldn’t take much to make you mindless!” Holt retorted.
Kendric quickly stepped in and changed the subject, not wanting to spend his afternoon listening to them bicker. “It’s certainly taller than the last den.” He ran his hand up the rough branch to where it sat in the fork of the tree. It was just higher than his head. Perhaps he would be able to stand up in this one when it was finished. He certainly wouldn’t mind having less bumps on his head!
“Let’s hope it lasts longer!” Holt said, looking at the large pile of sticks that had been their den before the last night’s storm had toppled it.
“The last one was great!” Marley said. “It was my favourite den. It lasted ages, nearly a fortnight, and look, even after last night’s storm it’s still standing.” He pointed at two lonely sticks propped up against the trunk.
“Then we shall call it,” Holt said, standing up with a solemn expression, hand over his heart. “‘Survivor Of The Storm the den that didn’t fall down – completely’ and honour it in our songs for generations to come,” he held his pose for a moment, then laughed and gave Marley, who was frowning at him, a friendly thump on the back.
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Kendric wished that being tall also made him strong. You’d think being a carpenter’s son and apprentice would give him muscled arms, but his thin arms ached with fatigue. Once again he grabbed the end of a long branch and pushed it as high as his trembling arms could manage, trying to ignore the shouts of pain from his shoulders. As his left hand slipped on the wet bark a tendril of doubt entered his mind. Had he and his friends had set themselves too hard a task? If they didn’t manage to lift the branch high this time that would be it, he had no energy left to try again. Last chance. He shifted his hand for a better grip and tried to see where the branch met the tree, was it lined up for the fork? Just a bit higher. He strained harder and felt his boots start to slide in the mud.
“Now” he shouted, and threw his weight into one final push. From behind his friends shoved hard. The branch surged forwards,its gnarled end catching for a moment on the rough bark of the trunk, then with a shudder that threw them all off balance it slid into place. Kendric staggered forwards a few steps then fell, hands splayed, in cold, squelchy mud and decaying leaves.
He lay on the ground for a moment, the woodland’s familiar earthy smell filling his nostrils as he took in a long slow breath. Then he pushed himself up and wiped his hands on his trousers. Marley and Holt lay next to him, their woollen tunics and trousers covered in mud.
“We did it!” Kendric said. “Finally!” The long, heavy branch had needed all three of them to drag it from where they found it, then lift one end and wedge into the fork of the tree. But it had been worth it as now they had a really sturdy, and tall, support for their new den.
“Told you!” Marley said, springing to his feet with a wide grin on his face. “Easy peasy.” Maybe for you, thought Kendric, remembering that he had had the hardest job of getting the branch in place, being tallest.
“It would,” Holt said, still lying on the floor gazing dreamily through the canopy of leaves to the sky beyond. “Have been even easier with magic.”
Kendric and Marley froze. Kendric’s ears strained for any noise as he scanned the gaps between the grey trunks for movement. Their secret, hidden place in the woods suddenly felt very exposed. Anyone could be walking past and have overheard. Wishing to have magic was just about the worst thing anyone could do. Silence stretched on a moment longer, and then a blackbird started singing nearby, breaking the spell. The woodland was empty, of humans at least. The tension drained out of the air.
“Easier for you, you mean, if you could turn us into mindless slaves to do the hard work for you!” Marley said.
“It wouldn’t take much to make you mindless!” Holt retorted.
Kendric quickly stepped in and changed the subject, not wanting to spend his afternoon listening to them bicker. “It’s certainly taller than the last den.” He ran his hand up the rough branch to where it sat in the fork of the tree. It was just higher than his head. Perhaps he would be able to stand up in this one when it was finished. He certainly wouldn’t mind having less bumps on his head!
“Let’s hope it lasts longer!” Holt said, looking at the large pile of sticks that had been their den before the last night’s storm had toppled it.
“The last one was great!” Marley said. “It was my favourite den. It lasted ages, nearly a fortnight, and look, even after last night’s storm it’s still standing.” He pointed at two lonely sticks propped up against the trunk.
“Then we shall call it,” Holt said, standing up with a solemn expression, hand over his heart. “‘Survivor Of The Storm the den that didn’t fall down – completely’ and honour it in our songs for generations to come,” he held his pose for a moment, then laughed and gave Marley, who was frowning at him, a friendly thump on the back.
