Help with Battle Action

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I have reached a place in my WIP where a town is about to be attacked by a barbaric race. Its the first time we meet this new threat. It will be observed by my MC, mostly from a hiding place.

I am really looking forward to writing it, but I need some advice:

- Does anyone have any tips on pacing? (I would like it to last for approx. 3,000 to 4,000 words) Should I build and release the tension progressively faster? Keep it head-over-heels fast?

- Who should I read? Which authors have done these scenes well? (I know Robin Hobb has some good settlement attacks)

Any other tips welcome :)
 
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I can't think of a good scene from another author - I'm sure others will bring some instructive pieces to your attention.

I also don't know what angle you are going to take in the MC's actions, but purely on what you've written above, if it's from the PoV of the MC and he/she is hiding for most of the chapter, then what the MC is going to experience of this attack is going to be limited, no? If he/she is under the bed quaking with fear then it will be difficult to observe, say, barbarians scaling and overpowering a wall way off in the distance.

If on the other hand the MC is desperately searching for a hiding place (and never finding a secure one) then that would give you the opportunity to paint a picture of several/many scenes of the violence as the MC stumbles across various things happening in the attack. Or perhaps a bit of cat and mouse with the MC as he/she might get chased by barbarians (say). Then the tension would be personal to the MC. (and to answer one of your questions, I guess would escalate faster to the end.)

There could be other a host of other reasons for the MC to be running about on the ground - searching for a friend and getting cut off, going back to rescue a valuable trinket in part of a town that appears to be overrun by barbarians - if you are taking it from a strong PoV angle.

I suppose it's fair enough if your MC's hiding place is somewhere up high - perhaps a big tree or the top of a church tower (if you have such things) to give a panoramic view....but as quite a few Japanese snipers found out when using trees to hide in, once spotted your options on where to go were drastically curtailed to about zero (or try and evolve some sort of wings.) And if it was just the MC describing what he/she was observing then the chapter might come across as detached and passive.

Sorry if you already have all this built into your plot, just some thoughts the post dredged up! :)
 
3,000 words of anything that's just being observed by the MC is likely to seem far too long. I'm not a fan of lengthy battle scenes anyway, as they often become very repetitive, but if you're going for something this long then I'd try to make the MC active in some way (maybe following VB's suggestions) and I would give most of the room to building up tension (whether one time or several) and less to the action.
 
The entire last section of Snorti Kristjansson's Swords of Good Men is a settlement attack (Vikings), and nicely paced.

I think it takes a mixture of fast-paced action and pauses for breath. So you have lots of things happen, and then the protagonist finds a new hiding place and stops for a moment, for example. Even if you build it slowly, once you hit the fast-and-furious bit you still need to take those 'narrative pauses for breath' or it just becomes overwhelming...
 
You don't say what level of technology your barabarians and defenders have, but if it's anything more than simply bows, swords and brute strength, Adrian Tchaikovksy has a lot of battle scenes in his Shadows of the Apt series, including at least a couple of prolonged settlement attacks which might be of interest, though off the top of my head I can't recall which book(s) they came in. The ones I'm thinking of I actually found too long, and I ended up skimming, but I'm not a fan of fighting scenes. Anyway, mangonels on both sides, and flying machines dropping bombs and incendiary devices came in -- if you think that might be helpful to read, I'll try and pin down which book(s) would be best.

If you're really aiming for 3-4,000 words, I'd echo the others' advice that you need your POV character to be active for at least part of the chapter, even if it's only running away, and that you need to change pace during the chapter.
 
Peter Jackson on the Battle of Helm's Deep, "Editorial:
Refining the Story" [12:27], Special Extended DVD Edition,
disc 4, The Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers.

"We found when we were cutting, you really needed to follow your main
characters, your principle characters. If we had two or three shots of stunt
guys fighting, you wanted to come back to one of your heroes.

"I think with any battle sequence, there has to be a fundamental purpose to
the battle. If it's a global, strategic kind of purpose, you're trying to
defend your castle because this person wants to take your castle, it's not
compelling. And that's really what we had with Helm's Deep. When we were
beginning to cut it together, it was just an attack on a castle. We felt
strongly that we needed to make the battle have more a human quality, that
there had to be more of an emotional reason for the battle to take place.

"So when we did our pickups for the Two Towers, we spent a day during our
pickup shoot actually filming a group of actors and extras being terrified,
huddled refugees, hearing the sounds of battle, reacting to various moments of
the battle, suddenly, it had a purpose. I mean to have Viggo standing on the
ramparts, drawing a sword, facing the Uriks[sic], and then you cut into the
huddled women and children in the cave, and then back to Viggo, you felt, Wow,
this guy is defending his people."
 
I agree with the others. I think that one of the things you can’t do as easily in writing than you can on screen is to awe the reader with the size of things or to give an immediate sense of epicness. A description of 10,000 men is often just a vaguer description of 100 men.

Like everyone else, I’d go for telling this very much from the character’s viewpoint, which probably means that he won’t get a convenient place from which to view everything. He’ll have an impression, perhaps an accurate one, but one that will stress certain elements and not others. It also begs the question why he isn’t running away, so perhaps he’ll need to be trapped. You could do something really good by alternating between his view of the battle (more distanced and impressionistic) and his own experiences (very closely observed).

George MacDonald Frazer once wrote a very good account of a battle he was in, in which he only really saw the 20 or so men nearest to him. It was really a sequence of images and short scenes, in which he got increasingly tired until an officer told him that they’d won. I remember the battle in King Solomon’s Mines being good too, and very much character-focussed.
 
George MacDonald Frazer once wrote a very good account of a battle he was in, in which he only really saw the 20 or so men nearest to him. It was really a sequence of images and short scenes, in which he got increasingly tired until an officer told him that they’d won.

Like C.S.Lewis' lovely description of battle from Shasta's point of view in The Horse and His Boy, in which everything is very confusing, and Shasta has no idea what's going on, and then he gets knocked off his horse, and eventually gets up to find out it's all over. :D
 
Wow, this is why I love this place. Thank you all.

I was quite vague in setting the scene. My MC is with another character drinking, swimming and celebrating that their rite of passage has just ended. They are a distance away from their commune as night falls. My MC spots one of the stone towers in the commune ablaze and they rush back. The attack has come completely unknown to all.

What I am hoping to achieve, is they arrive to a scene of mayhem and destruction. The invaders will have catapults and siege beasts, and the foot soldiers will be capturing certain members of the commune because of their magic, slaughtering the rest. The inhabitants will be fighting a retreating battle. My MC is struggling with their abilities at this point, so will not be of much use. I do plan a brief interaction between them and a barbarian.

I think you're right that my MC must keep active to move the story forward. They will be searching for a relative. The whole thing will be fairly emotional because of the way the commune is set up; every member is like family.

3,000 to 4,000 words might be a little ambitious by the sounds of it, but my MC does have a friend with them, so plenty of room for fast dialogue.

Juliana
I think it takes a mixture of fast-paced action and pauses for breath. So you have lots of things happen, and then the protagonist finds a new hiding place and stops for a moment, for example. Even if you build it slowly, once you hit the fast-and-furious bit you still need to take those 'narrative pauses for breath' or it just becomes overwhelming...


Venusian Broon
If on the other hand the MC is desperately searching for a hiding place (and never finding a secure one) then that would give you the opportunity to paint a picture of several/many scenes of the violence as the MC stumbles across various things happening in the attack. Or perhaps a bit of cat and mouse with the MC as he/she might get chased by barbarians (say). Then the tension would be personal to the MC. (and to answer one of your questions, I guess would escalate faster to the end.)

Thanks for your tips. That's the sort of pacing advice I was looking for. I'm worried that if they arrive to full-on action, I will have to maintain the adrenaline and this will be difficult.

That quote from Peter Jackson is brilliant (thanks goldhawk).

--------

Perhaps I should build it like the Beaufort Scale. So that each new hiding place, they see something even more extreme than the last?

Thanks again to all. You've given me lots to think about and some books to check out :)
 
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I recommend you think about the scene and play it out in your head. Visualize everything. Are the main characters involved in the scene? what point do you want to make? was there a main bad guy to prsue later that needs introduction?

Once you outlined your essential points, you can let your creativity take over and fill in the rest.

Just my take on it...
 
Read Joe Abercrombie's The Heroes. More battle scenes than you know what to do with... all of 'em excellent!

Funny you should mention that book. It was sitting on my desk in my to-read pile, but my girlfriend pinched it recently and is currently working through it.

I'll make it my next read :)
 
Anyone actually taking part in any battle, whether in ancient or modern times, would have a very limited awareness of what was going on- their feield of vision would be limited by the press of men all round them, or by buildings or other scenery, also their awareness further limited by the "tunnel vision" of extreme stress.

You can build tension etc just as much by what the character does NOT see, as by what he DOES see. What he can't see he will fearfully imagine. What he can only hear is interesting- one band of fighting men sounds much like another unless you can hear their language clearly.

Bear in mind that ancient battles didn't actually last very long because swinging swords and battle axes and throwing spears etc is much more physically tiring than just pulling triggers.
 
I wrote a lengthy siege scene during which my main character met some important people for the plot. He did see a lot of the action, but only after it was all over did he hear from a report what happened elsewhere on the field. Even the report wasn't quite reliable, I guess that is how battles go. My attackers were on the 18-19th century tech level- some guns, a lot of melee. And teeth :)

The barbarians should probably attack in waves. The first waves are aimed at feeling the defenses and finding weak spots. I used the periods between waves to add to the tension: the soldiers were wondering what the enemy is up to, and hoping the battle is over. Also, consider using siege machines and balistas to suppress and taunt.

Read about similar battles in the history of Europe, huh? I used some details from one significant battle of my country's.
Look up the Huns or the Mongols.
 
If your character is hiding you wouldn't necessarily need a lengthy fight scene. Just describe what's going on, so the reader doesn't know what's going on but it terrifies them. For example have him hearing the sounds of war like the screams of the dying and the crash of siege weapons and walls or him seeing blood civilians and soldiers going by. Maybe have him not be alone and cover their combined reactions to the siege. That's a great way to make things incredibly tense.
 
As the author you get to choose what the reader sees during the battle. your "camera" isn't stuck in the eyes of one character, but can move around to give the reader the best view. I agree with the other comments that each character would have a limited view, but you can use that to your advantage!

Follow each special character through the battle and show the reader what each one sees. Did one see a loved one of another get cut down, an especially bad raider/barbarian, the leader of the raiding party, etc... And like wise, you can veiw the battle through the eyes of the barbarians to show the reader the plunder or objectives they are going after.

When the battle is over you can have the characters share their vantage point with each other to bring their knowledge up to the level of the reader (well almost). Where they go from there is the next chapter.

My oppinion is a well choreographed battle is more than just hack and slash, it has purpose.
 
I have reached a place in my WIP where a town is about to be attacked by a barbaric race. Its the first time we meet this new threat. It will be observed by my MC, mostly from a hiding place.

I am really looking forward to writing it, but I need some advice:

- Does anyone have any tips on pacing? (I would like it to last for approx. 3,000 to 4,000 words) Should I build and release the tension progressively faster? Keep it head-over-heels fast?

- Who should I read? Which authors have done these scenes well? (I know Robin Hobb has some good settlement attacks)

Any other tips welcome :)

Hi,

I'll jump in, too, because this is something that I struggle with. Let's just say that I am not a physically active sort of person and I have no direct experience of being in the military or in battle situations. I've come up with a few strategies that help me. I know they help, because I see the difference in the critiques I receive in my writer's group. They comment on other aspects, but rarely does anybody make the comment that they don't understand the choreography of my action scenes or that they don't feel engaged. I guess I've put so much work into this aspect that my "slow" scenes need work!

First, I read all sorts of literature and first-hand accounts that relate to the particular type of scene I am doing. For example, for the scene you've described in the opening question, I would suggest "The Red Badge of Courage" for a MC who is an average guy experiencing the brutality of battle for the first time. Also, one of the later musketeer books in the series by Dumas has a scene where the aging musketeers were in Cromwell's time and trying to save the king from getting executed. There is a fabulous moment (I wish I could quote it) where Athos makes it to the gallows through the rioting mob, etc. He is an observer of the king's beheading and, as a nobleman, he is devastated. His emotions are high because, for all his prowess and experience, he failed to save someone.

Second, I find it's very important to choreograph where things are. It's going to sound silly, but I use dolls and household objects to lay out a difficult scene on my living room floor. Books are boulders. Chairs are trees. Blankets are hills. I do this because it's hard enough to write about things that aren't really happening, and it helps me to have a clear visual image. Also, by working in 3-D I am able to walk around and see the scene from every angle. When your MC peeks around the tree trunk, what exactly is in view? You can get tension as much from what you don't see, or can't see, or feel frustration because you need to see but can't get any closer.

Finally, for the emotion, I suggest digging down into that dark place and remember times when you have been in a life or death situation. For me, it's a couple of minor automobile accidents. In both cases, someone else was driving and I was the helpless passenger watching the events unfold. If I encapsulate that moment in my head and expand it over the course of an action scene, I am able to inject the right amount of adrenaline.
 
Make it about the characters. Focus on who is kissing their cross or other icon or item, crying for mummy, yelling Yah Boo come and get me. Who charges forward and who curls up in a ball. Include all the senses - what does your character hear, smell, taste, feel as well as see. Also if he is observing something get him involved periodically, give his leg cramp, does he almost give away his hiding place, does he close his eyes, bite his lips etc Something hits a bit too close and showers him with mud.
 

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