Synopsis reboot.

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AnyaKimlin

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I'm still struggling with this - although I am happier with it,

Sandwiched between the great estates of Sir Patrick Garrett and Countess Morteford, the small market town of Morteford is, on the surface, the very model of Edwardian prosperity and propriety.

Society girl Miss Cecille Magdalene Elisabetha Garrett (Cece to her family and very select group of friends) does not want to adorn the arm of an ancient fat earl who has fallen for her father's money. She wants to be a barrister which is a path not open to an Englishwoman in 1912. Determined to change the world and achieve her goal without the help of her father's fortune, she signs up to the suffragette cause. The stories of torture in prison terrify her, and each time she is arrested her resolve falters and she allows her father to rescue her.

Once a week the town jeweller buys his tobacco and treats himself to a smutty postcard. In one he recognises a distinctive ring; the man in the picture must be Mr Wolfe, a respectable business man. He makes a joke about his discovery that offends his respectable customer. Mrs Wolfe is very pious and her money allows her husband to enjoy his upper class lifestyle. In order to keep his nefarious activities a secret from his wife Mr Wolfe hires a Tobias London to murder the jeweller.

Araminta, Mr Wolfe's daughter, is Cece's good friend and they attend the suffragette protest together. When a constable goes to arrest her co-conspirator, Cece throws a rock at him, allowing Araminta to escape down a close next to the jeweller's shop. Hiding behind a bin, Araminta witnesses the murder of the jeweller and she becomes the next victim.

The death of the jeweller and Araminta are the beginning of a series of murders. Tobias London uses his girlfriend to frame Cece's older brother, Miles Garrett; Miles becomes the prime suspect, and only Cece believes he is innocent. In order to literally save his neck, she embarks on a dangerous investigation.

Cece's big break comes when her investigation offends her father. Her punishment is to spend a week working below stairs as a scullery maid, where he hopes she will learn some gratitude for her privileged life.

In the kitchens she meets Bette, a young maid, who, despite her sixteen-hour days, has been seduced into working for Tobias London. He offers Bette a pretty dress and good money; Bette was saving to be married and hoped it would bring that day sooner. She is too scared of the men that run the ring to stop the work, despite her parents and fiancé disowning her. All alone in the world, Bette becomes more and more involved in the porn industry, The photograph's threaten Bette's lowly but respectable position, working for Cece's father.

In her father's desk drawer Cece finds a box of postcards like the one the jeweller had. Using the box, she identifies a number of other girls in Bette's situation. With each one she finds out more clues and is so close to locating the porn ring that her own life is threatened.

A group of working class girls who have given up their respectability prove poor evidence in a world dominated by wealthy men. To gather more evidence, Cece goes to an abandoned house hoping to find something, that will make the men around her listen. The house reveals secrets that connect the Wolfe and London family. It also provides information about how the porn ring first began. During her investigation, she finds herself trapped in a room with the mummies of Tobias's first victims: his parents. With air running out, she passes out. She is brought to by an explosion -- an elaborate, and almost deadly, rescue by some of the friends she has made along the way. Her evidence is enough to have Tobias London, his girlfriend and the porn ring arrested. Mr Wolfe commits suicide. As a result Miles is cleared of all charges.

A week later, Cece ignores her father's wishes and attends another suffragette demonstration. This time she breaks the window of the police station and chains herself to the railings. When they arrest her, she gives a false name and refuses to let her father help her. The injustices she has seen have made her more determined to one day become a barrister.
 
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Very briefly, I think it's too detailed. I would cut out almost all the character motivation, certainly for that of the minor characters. I don't think you need this, for instance:

"He offers Bette a pretty dress and good money; Bette was saving to be married and hoped it would bring that day sooner. She is too scared of the men that run the ring to stop the work, despite her parents and fiancé disowning her. All alone in the world, Bette becomes more and more involved in the porn industry, The photograph's threaten Bette's lowly but respectable position, working for Cece's father."

All of these sound like the sort of reasons that you would expect to land Bette in the trouble that she's got, so there's not that much reason to include them. Similarly, I think this:

"Araminta, Mr Wolfe's daughter, is Cece's good friend and they attend the suffragette protest together. When a constable goes to arrest her co-conspirator, Cece throws a rock at him, allowing Araminta to escape down a close next to the jeweller's shop. Hiding behind a bin, Araminta witnesses the murder of the jeweller and she becomes the next victim."

could be condensed to:

"When a suffragette protest turns rowdy, Cece's friend Araminta witnesses the murder of the jeweller, but is noticed and killed."

My main other thought is that some of the twists in the plot - as it reads here, and not necessarily as I'd find it on reading the book - seem to be thrust on Cece rather than things she uncovers. I would be inclined to play up her skills as a detective a bit here since, without the feminism and the period aspects, it does seem to be a mystery story.

I hope this helps!
 
Not in England and Wales. The 1919 Act allowed for women to enter the professions, but the required pupillage etc meant that it wasn't until 1922 that the first women were called to the bar, and the first women KCs (Helena Normanton and Rose Heilbron) didn't take silk until 1949.
 
Not in England and Wales. The 1919 Act allowed for women to enter the professions, but the required pupillage etc meant that it wasn't until 1922 that the first women were called to the bar, and the first women KCs (Helena Normanton and Rose Heilbron) didn't take silk until 1949.

Thanks - my brain was dead this morning. First KC in Britain was 1948 with Dame Margaret Kidd, but given the lack of female advocates in Scotland it would be unrealistic to make another one up. I doubt the stories will go as far as Cece making it.
 
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Not in England and Wales. The 1919 Act allowed for women to enter the professions, but the required pupillage etc meant that it wasn't until 1922 that the first women were called to the bar, and the first women KCs (Helena Normanton and Rose Heilbron) didn't take silk until 1949.

And we call ourselves a civilised country - The mind boggles at the pathetic bigoted mind-set of the English male establishment and, at the time, the backing of their spouses.

What makes it even worse - little has changed - really



Usual picky comments - forgive.

All just opinions - obviously.



I'm still struggling with this - although I am happier with it,

Sandwiched between the great estates of Sir Patrick Garrett and Countess Morteford, the small market town of Morteford is, on the surface, the very model of Edwardian prosperity and propriety. (I'd leave this out, or cut it severely: geography details are cumbersome. It's enough to give the general situation IMO. The titles alone suggest prosperity and landed gentry - if the town or townsfolk are the important part; start there)

Society girl Miss Cecille Magdalene Elisabetha (irrelevant in a synopsis - we're after the basic overview) Garrett (Cece to her family and very select group of friends) does not want to adorn the arm of an ancient fat earl who has fallen for her father's money. She wants to be a barrister (Jars terribly with the initial introduction of society girl - we are first given the impression of a out about party girl long cigarette holding flapper - where's the serious studying mentioned - It makes her sound too much like an airhead - "OH I know tomorrow I'll study for the bar - more champagne please") which is a path not open to an Englishwoman in 1912. Determined to change the world and achieve her goal without the help of her father's fortune, (As above happy to be spending the cash partying though) she signs (did people "sign up") up to the suffragette cause. The stories of torture in prison terrify her, and each time she is arrested her resolve falters and she allows her father to rescue her.

Once a week the town jeweller buys his tobacco and treats himself to a smutty postcard. In one he recognises a distinctive ring; the man in the picture must be Mr Wolfe, a respectable business man. He makes a joke about his discovery that offends his respectable customer. Mrs Wolfe is very pious and her money allows her husband to enjoy his upper class lifestyle. In order to keep his nefarious activities a secret from his wife Mr Wolfe hires a Tobias London to murder the jeweller. (not sure about the postcard -did they exist, if so - presumably a massive circulation - he wouldn't be the only one to recognise him surely)

Araminta, Mr Wolfe's daughter, is Cece's good friend and they attend the suffragette protest together. When a constable goes to arrest her co-conspirator, Cece throws a rock at him, allowing enables Araminta to escape down a close next to the jeweller's shop. Hiding behind a bin, Araminta witnesses the murder of the jeweller, but is discovered. and she becomes the next victim. (really nice twist, but would there be a 'suffragette protest' in this sleepy backwater town. Later Araminta is found dead - is that an English 1910 name?)

The death of the jeweller and Araminta are the beginning of a series of murders. Tobias London uses his girlfriend to frame Cece's older brother, Miles Garrett; Miles becomes the prime suspect, and only Cece believes he is innocent. In order to literally save his neck, she embarks on a dangerous investigation. (too much again IMO)

Cece's big break comes when her investigation offends her father. Her punishment is to spend a week working below stairs as a scullery maid (very unlikely I would have thought for the times No one is going to ruin their chance of marrying off their daughter by this form of punishment the staff were kept in their place - it would be a scandal -l sent to Switzerland would be more likely than this IMO), where he hopes she will learn some gratitude for her privileged life.

In the kitchens she meets Bette, a young maid, who, despite her sixteen-hour days, has been seduced into working for Tobias London. He offers Bette a pretty dress and good money; Bette was saving to be married and hoped it would bring that day sooner. She is too scared of the men Tobias that run the ring to stop the work, despite (too many despites: and if they did, it would force her to do more) her parents and fiancé disowning her. All alone in the world, Bette becomes more and more involved in the porn industry, The photograph's threaten Bette's lowly but respectable position, working for Cece's father.

In her father's desk drawer Cece finds a box of postcards like the one the jeweller had. Using the box, she identifies a number of other girls in Bette's situation. With each one she finds out more clues and is so close to locating the porn (Why not just ask the girl?) ring that her own life is threatened.

A group of working class girls who have given up their respectability prove poor evidence in a world dominated by wealthy men. To gather more evidence, Cece goes to an abandoned house hoping to find something, that will make the men around her listen. The house reveals secrets that connect the Wolfe and London family. It also provides information about how the porn ring first began. During her investigation, she finds herself trapped in a room with the mummies of Tobias's first victims: his parents. With air running out, she passes out. She is brought to by an explosion -- an elaborate, and almost deadly, rescue by some of the friends she has made along the way. Her evidence is enough to have Tobias London, his girlfriend and the porn ring arrested. Mr Wolfe commits suicide. As a result Miles is cleared of all charges.

(^ a bit 'rushing to the end')

A week later, Cece ignores her father's wishes and attends another suffragette demonstration. This time she breaks the window of the police station and chains herself to the railings. When they arrest her, she gives a false name and refuses to let her father help her. The injustices she has seen have made her more determined to one day become a barrister. (But she never would with a criminal record)

I assume this is to give to agents and publishers, but I read it as more of a back cover taster. If it's an agents' thing then it lacks a bit of detail and is a bit confusing. I also think the plot has a few holes as can be seen - sorry.

Hope I helped

TEiN
 
Thank you.
In 1912 Cece would not have been a flapper - society girls took afternoon tea etc
Araminta was used in literature from the late 1600s so it could be used.
There were suffragette demonstrations all over the place. Certainly the similar town I was born in held a few.
The jeweller recognised the ring (because he made it) and not the man - others who saw the picture were not exactly focusing on the man or his ring ;)
Yes postcards exist - my grandfather had a similar box to that of the jewellers.
And Cece's father was an industrialist who rose out of obscurity - I based him on the likes of Samson Fox/General Andrew Anderson. Men who came from very humble beginnings to become one of the wealthiest men of the country. He's more concerned she doesn't understand where her family came from.

Most of the plot holes get covered in the story. I guess I need to work out how to cover them in the synopsis.
 
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