The Uphill Climb For The Male Writer

I was reading an interview with Guy Gavriel Kay today and I felt that the following question and answer sum things up quite well.

The word "empathy" is one that very much strikes a chord with me. I'm a psychotherapist by profession, and empathy is absolutely at the core of that. I believe it's helped my writing as much as, or maybe more than anything else.

Coragem.

ADJ: I have had several discussions with my friends over the years about how the relationship between Brandin and Dianora in Tigana is one of the best romances in literature. And in general, your writing has a certain sincere yet epic emotionality, which it seems to me many romance novels strive for, yet never achieve. To be frank, I rarely encounter male authors who write like this. I wonder what it is about your development as a writer - your influences, your dislikes - that has led you to such a deep appreciation of the nuances of human emotion. Going back to Zelazny for a moment, one of the starkest contrasts between his Amber books and your Fionavar series is his utterly tin-eared portrayal of women, versus the incredibly nuanced and strong portrayals of Kim, Jennifer and Jaelle.

GGK: Alaya, this entire topic is a tricky one for me. When I was younger I'd feel immensely flattered and pleased to be told the female characters were well-done. Then I started to 'hear' the subtext implied: how the hell could a Y-chromosome carrier ever get a woman right??? I'm still, obviously, honoured and grateful when readers (especially readers who are writers) admire or enjoy any aspect of my work, but this topic gives me pause. In the end, if you think about it, isn't this what good writing, imaginative empathy, is all about? If not, how could I (or you, or anyone) ever create a geriatric, a psychopath, a grieving widow or widower... until and unless we were one? If you follow the implications of your question far enough, none of us can write anything but autobiographical characters!
 
I think the issue is that a certain class of male writers do show lack of empathy with the opposite sex and write unconvincing women. They probably write cardboard characters of other types, but since more of their readers are female than are psychopaths or octogenarians, that's the area where their weak characterisation is most noticeable.
 
Has anyone read the story "Anise," in the Sept./Oct. 2011 issue of F&SF? It's written by a male writer from the point of view of a woman. Any opinions of the story?
 
My own view is that there are men, women and people.

Or to explain further before anyone shouts at me :D

Some people just are themselves - they might have some characteristics that are seen as male or as female - and it may coincide with their actual gender - but whether they are male or female is not the first thing that springs to their mind, or to anyone else who is like minded when talking with them.

Then there are folks who are hung up on the fact they are male or female and have to behave, and expect others to behave, depending on that gender.
"I can't do that because I'm a woman/man"
"You must do xx because you are a z"

Female - can't top up the oil on a car, must be neat and tidy and not loud
Male - can top up the oil but doesn't have to be neat and tidy and being big voiced and boisterous is all part of his masculinity.

Bleh. Why do humans get so hung up on rules?
 
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