Valhalla
Vigilante Showboat
Hi, this is the first full chapter/prologue I have posted on this site. Hope you enjoy, and give constructive critisism
All was quite except for the occasional burst of wind against the side of the mountain. Snow would be overturned in flurries and then sent cascading over the mountainside before the wind would calm again.
Nearby, the lights of the temple pierced the night, shining with hope. The temple usually stood out as a formidable stronghold on the mountainside, its very presence inspiring tales of fearful beings. However, on such a cold night it would have warmed the heart of the most superstitious traveller.
The sound of snow crunching under the foot of someone who was running suddenly cut through the night and a girl appeared, followed by a small glowing light which shone light blue.
She was tall with short brown hair which blew around her face. Her left eye was as blue and the sea while her right eye was the colour of freshly cut grass. In her right hand she held a large pair of golden garden shears, tall enough to reach her torso when the tip was in the ground.
“We’re nearly their Rempika.” She said to the light. It flashed at her as she continued running to the nearest cliff.
Suddenly, from behind there flew another glowing light, this one was a darker blue. It was followed closely by a boy.
He could have been the girl’s twin. He had the same coloured eyes as her and the same hair. In his right hand he carried a pair of large silver scissors, the same size as her garden shears. He was also running.
“Sorus!” He yelled and the little light charged ahead of him, heading straight for the girl’s light.
She had heard him yell and spun around, seeming to float a few inches from the ground, she raised her shears so the flat side slammed into the light.
It looked momentarily confused and she attempted to grab it but suddenly the boy was there, his scissors raised. She pulled her hand back and brought the shears up to stop the movement.
Both weapons met in mid air, and sparks flew off. The two lights shot behind their respective owners waiting for orders.
“Go away Jorai!” The girl said, “This is my territory and you have no right here.
“You are the one who entered my territory first, Sukisou!” Jorai said.
“I wanted to see my sister! Before she went back to sleep.” Sukisou said. She closed her eyes and her body began to glow.
Jorai began to shake with the effort of staying still. He closed his eyes and began to glow as well. Suddenly Sukisou’s eyes flew open and she stopped glowing. She flew backwards over the cliff, followed by her light. Jorai ran forward and leaped off after her.
She sped towards the ground, head first. Suddenly she heard the sound of pursuit. She rolled over so she faced up and saw her pursuer. She suddenly stopped mid-air and shot back up towards the sky. When she and Jorai met the weapons clashed.
They flew in circles around each other, both of them bringing down merciless attacks on the other. Suddenly Sukisou shot backwards holding her weapon in both hands now, she began to glow again.
She shot forwards, a sphere of energy surrounding her, glowing light blue. Jorai raised his scissors to defend himself his body glowing as well. Slowly he also became surrounded with energy, dark blue energy. When the two spheres met there was a sound like an explosion but they both stayed where they were.
“You can’t beat me, Jorai, you never will.”
“Always full of yourself weren’t you.”
“I am only telling the truth. Our powers are too similar for that.”
“Maybe so, but I will still defeat you.”
“I don’t think so.”
Sukisou flew up higher and began to glow again, but much brighter then she had glowed before. Her light, Rempika, flew towards her and joined with her.
Jorai seemed unsure as to what he should do.
Sukisou was soon shining so brightly it illuminated the whole valley below, so it appeared to be day.
Jorai began to glow as well, his light, Sorus, joining with him.
Sukisou brought her arms against her chest just as Jorai began to shine with the same brilliance as her. She quickly brought her arms out smoothly releasing, as she did, a wave of pure energy directed at Jorai. At the same moment he brought his arms up to touch his chest and he released. Just as the wave was about to hit him he shot out of the way, but the wave continued towards him.
“You can only escape it in your own land.” Sukisou yelled before turning and shooting off towards the temple, her light once again following her.
She landed lightly on the first stair and then stumbled up two of them before collapsing in exhaustion.
Two priests rushed outside and lifted her gently. They carried her inside and the high priest stepped outside. He surveyed the now silent countryside as though expecting to see something unusual. When nothing met his sight he turned and entered the temple.
In the centre of the temple, in a hidden chamber, three priestesses tended to the wounded Sukisou. During the course of the battle she had received a number of cuts from the silver scissors. None fatal, but many were deep and bled heavily.
One of the priestesses’ tutted at her, “You know you shouldn’t fight when it is nearly time for you to sleep.”
“I did not intend to you know.” Sukisou said. She looked thoughtfully at the three “I suppose you won’t be here when I wake next time. You had better make sure you train good priestesses to take care of me.”
The three priestesses exchanged looks. They each tried to imagine what it would be like, that every time you woke up all the people you used to know were long gone.
“Of course we will.” One priestess said “We only want the best for you. You are destined to rule the world aren’t you?”
“I suppose.” Sukisou said. She waved them away when they went to tend her wounds again. “Sumisou, is asleep, I too am going to sleep now.”
And with that she rolled over and the shining spark of Rempika landed on her chest and was absorbed. She drifted to sleep.
I await your comments
Prologue
The End
The End
All was quite except for the occasional burst of wind against the side of the mountain. Snow would be overturned in flurries and then sent cascading over the mountainside before the wind would calm again.
Nearby, the lights of the temple pierced the night, shining with hope. The temple usually stood out as a formidable stronghold on the mountainside, its very presence inspiring tales of fearful beings. However, on such a cold night it would have warmed the heart of the most superstitious traveller.
The sound of snow crunching under the foot of someone who was running suddenly cut through the night and a girl appeared, followed by a small glowing light which shone light blue.
She was tall with short brown hair which blew around her face. Her left eye was as blue and the sea while her right eye was the colour of freshly cut grass. In her right hand she held a large pair of golden garden shears, tall enough to reach her torso when the tip was in the ground.
“We’re nearly their Rempika.” She said to the light. It flashed at her as she continued running to the nearest cliff.
Suddenly, from behind there flew another glowing light, this one was a darker blue. It was followed closely by a boy.
He could have been the girl’s twin. He had the same coloured eyes as her and the same hair. In his right hand he carried a pair of large silver scissors, the same size as her garden shears. He was also running.
“Sorus!” He yelled and the little light charged ahead of him, heading straight for the girl’s light.
She had heard him yell and spun around, seeming to float a few inches from the ground, she raised her shears so the flat side slammed into the light.
It looked momentarily confused and she attempted to grab it but suddenly the boy was there, his scissors raised. She pulled her hand back and brought the shears up to stop the movement.
Both weapons met in mid air, and sparks flew off. The two lights shot behind their respective owners waiting for orders.
“Go away Jorai!” The girl said, “This is my territory and you have no right here.
“You are the one who entered my territory first, Sukisou!” Jorai said.
“I wanted to see my sister! Before she went back to sleep.” Sukisou said. She closed her eyes and her body began to glow.
Jorai began to shake with the effort of staying still. He closed his eyes and began to glow as well. Suddenly Sukisou’s eyes flew open and she stopped glowing. She flew backwards over the cliff, followed by her light. Jorai ran forward and leaped off after her.
She sped towards the ground, head first. Suddenly she heard the sound of pursuit. She rolled over so she faced up and saw her pursuer. She suddenly stopped mid-air and shot back up towards the sky. When she and Jorai met the weapons clashed.
They flew in circles around each other, both of them bringing down merciless attacks on the other. Suddenly Sukisou shot backwards holding her weapon in both hands now, she began to glow again.
She shot forwards, a sphere of energy surrounding her, glowing light blue. Jorai raised his scissors to defend himself his body glowing as well. Slowly he also became surrounded with energy, dark blue energy. When the two spheres met there was a sound like an explosion but they both stayed where they were.
“You can’t beat me, Jorai, you never will.”
“Always full of yourself weren’t you.”
“I am only telling the truth. Our powers are too similar for that.”
“Maybe so, but I will still defeat you.”
“I don’t think so.”
Sukisou flew up higher and began to glow again, but much brighter then she had glowed before. Her light, Rempika, flew towards her and joined with her.
Jorai seemed unsure as to what he should do.
Sukisou was soon shining so brightly it illuminated the whole valley below, so it appeared to be day.
Jorai began to glow as well, his light, Sorus, joining with him.
Sukisou brought her arms against her chest just as Jorai began to shine with the same brilliance as her. She quickly brought her arms out smoothly releasing, as she did, a wave of pure energy directed at Jorai. At the same moment he brought his arms up to touch his chest and he released. Just as the wave was about to hit him he shot out of the way, but the wave continued towards him.
“You can only escape it in your own land.” Sukisou yelled before turning and shooting off towards the temple, her light once again following her.
She landed lightly on the first stair and then stumbled up two of them before collapsing in exhaustion.
Two priests rushed outside and lifted her gently. They carried her inside and the high priest stepped outside. He surveyed the now silent countryside as though expecting to see something unusual. When nothing met his sight he turned and entered the temple.
In the centre of the temple, in a hidden chamber, three priestesses tended to the wounded Sukisou. During the course of the battle she had received a number of cuts from the silver scissors. None fatal, but many were deep and bled heavily.
One of the priestesses’ tutted at her, “You know you shouldn’t fight when it is nearly time for you to sleep.”
“I did not intend to you know.” Sukisou said. She looked thoughtfully at the three “I suppose you won’t be here when I wake next time. You had better make sure you train good priestesses to take care of me.”
The three priestesses exchanged looks. They each tried to imagine what it would be like, that every time you woke up all the people you used to know were long gone.
“Of course we will.” One priestess said “We only want the best for you. You are destined to rule the world aren’t you?”
“I suppose.” Sukisou said. She waved them away when they went to tend her wounds again. “Sumisou, is asleep, I too am going to sleep now.”
And with that she rolled over and the shining spark of Rempika landed on her chest and was absorbed. She drifted to sleep.
I await your comments
