Those who have no exams are opening pubs, restaurants, shops, new territories or manufactories – and here I’m sailing round the oceans on a ship who can navigate herself. Perhaps scribe services ? Write a letter ‘ome fer yer, Guv ? No, most here are more than adequately literate – and those who have read my introduction posts understandably hestant about the results (look, you’re welcomed, aren’t you ? Where else would you get welcomed like that ?) Ah, well, I’ll just have to fall back on my primary gifts. A stage, with a powerful PA and decent stage monitors. A jam stage, with a selection of guitar amps, a couple of bass amps and some keyboard stacks. The instruments you don’t want to carry ; two grand pianos that disappear under the stage floor on electric lifts, A couple of drum kits, on wheeled (lockable) risers, a selection of cymbals and most of the LP selection of hand-hrld percussion instruments. A Hammond B3 with leslie, a modular synthesiser, a Fender Rhodes.. Upright bass, harpsichord, baritone sax. Plus a couple of ordinary instruments for those who might have forgotten theirs – nothing clever, a couple of Ibanez electric guitars and a five-string bass, acoustics with built in contact mics, autoharp, idem. In front of the stage, the “dancefloor“. Alomost no furniture, a couple of chairs and one, big table reinforced till you can dance on it – wait a minute, we’ve got dragons, I’ll weld on a couple of girders. Around the dancefloor a semicircle of tables, set up for four people each. Six if they’re very good freinds, two if one of them’s a dragon. A volume control on each table, so you can either enjoy the music, or fade it out completely. Acoustic isolation to the point that you can’t shout at the table next to you – but you can dial them up on a conference circuit, so it’ll sound as if you’re at the same table. No service as such ; food and (primarily) beverages are routed under the floor, and apperar through the table top. A limited selection, always two vegetarian, two mweat, two fish and two salad, plus pizzas. Nothing gourmet. A screen in the middle of the table allows you to make orders, communicate with the other tables, log on to the net if the music’s a bit slow… The monitor position has a little room with the microphones, DI boxes, in-ear monitors, cables, all the junk. The other side of the stage is the DJ booth, facilities for vinyl, CD. DVD, mp3… He (she?) will also have a selection of mix minus backing tracks, and a karaoke set up. The FOH position has the main sound desk, the lighting desk, and a couple of follow spots. It’s high enough that it won’t disturb sightlines, and has it’s own food lift (and beer fridge). Dressing rooms ? Do you think we’ll need them ?