Effective description/comparisons in query letter

[pklentz]

Hi Mr. Jarrold,


You wrote in your blog:

DO be aware that your novel will be compared with authors who have recently come to prominence, not long-term bestsellers. The former are the authors with whom a sales director will have to draw comparisons when a new writer is presented to the major bookselling chains. So if you're writing fantasy don't imagine that, because David Eddings and Terry Brooks have sold well for around thirty years, you should try to write something similar.​

And you wrote elsewhere that authors should always know what's hot within the genre. I think I might have run into a bit of a problem on these fronts. Although my questions refer to my personal experience, I'm hoping the answers (how best to present work that might be or seem unfashionable in 2007) might be valuable to others.


In 2003 a novel manuscript of mine, INTERIM, won the $2,500 first prize in a Cinescape Magazine competition. For the next couple of years I queried what agents I could find that didn't say "absolutely no SF," and got some interest but no deal. In retrospect I didn't query as widely as I might have, in favor of spending my energy on writing two more novels. Now I'm ready to push INTERIM again.


My "problem" is that the sound bite the Cinescape article gave me is: "...reminiscent of sagas like Dune and Foundation without ever being repetitive. It's thoughtful, but also a good old fashioned page-turner." Now, I figured I'd be insane not to put that in queries, but your advice above suggests it may not be of the greatest help. I've been using the term "space opera," but now I'm thinking that may help to kill me, too. One agent recently read the first few pages and said, "I'm not seeking Hard SF," which I didn't/don't think my novel is. It also has a few elements of military SF which another agent picked up on. All this leaves me shaking my head on how best to present it. If I can't be accurate, what's the most "salable" description? Comparing it to Peter F. Hamilton would not be inaccurate, but would it be a plus? The book has an anti-interventionist political undercurrent (present, but less pronounced than in, say, Ken McLeod). Should I highlight that, or will it make agents suspect I have an agenda?


And a follow-up: The two early draft novels I've since completed take place on earth in the near future. Is epic "space opera" (?) so impossible to crack for a first-timer that I might be better off intending to make one of these my "first novel"?


Thanks! I've really enjoyed discovering this forum, and appreciate your spending time here.



Phil
[INTERIM] by Philip K. Lentz

 

[Havlen]

I would query the books when you are ready and not worry about which one would make the best first novel. If INTERIM isn't deemed publishable by the industry, you try with your next, and your next, etc. In the meantime, you will be picking up valuable knowledge and skills in terms of the business side of writing.

Trust me, I wish all you had to do was write a good and publishable book, but unfortunately that is not the case. You have to also have skill writing query letters and a synopsis.

Also, I could have sworn I saw an agent post on a blog recently that they were looking for a good space opera but for the life of me I can't remember where I read it. I went back to three agent blogs I check on occassion and couldn't find it. (Kristin Nelson, Rachel Vater, and Jenny Rappaport are the blogs)

If I run across it again I'll zip back over here and give you a shout.

Oh, and personally I'd use the quote.

 

[JDP]

I'd have thought that if you've got a really positive quote (albeit one that mentions older works), then you should definitely use it.

I think that when John was referring to not comparing oneself with a bestselling, long-time author, he was talking about a direct comparison that the author should make in their covering/query letter.

I've just completely confused myself with that massive sentence. Long story short, I reckon it's fine to use the quote as long as in your query letter, you compare your work with somebody more contemporary.

 

[pklentz]

Thanks, you two, particularly for mentioning the agents.

One thing I'm always sure to mention in queries is the two more manuscripts and third in progress. But a question for anyone who might know: would an agent prefer to see consistency in a potential genre client's work (i.e. following up hard SF with more hard SF) or diversity (near future, far future, historical, etc.)?

Edit:

Yet another question: A fairly well-known agent asked for the manuscript, gave me rewrite suggestions on it, and is currently considering the re-draft non-exclusively. Assuming he passes, is this something I should mention in queries--in the sense that it says a colleague in the business liked it enough to offer advice and take a second look? If yes, do I mention the agent by name?

 

[Havlen]

I wouldn't mention other manuscripts at all in a query letter. Even if they are complete. A query letter is a pitch for one book.

I also wouldn't mention another agent passing on the manuscript.

 

[pklentz]

I wouldn't mention other manuscripts at all in a query letter. Even if they are complete. A query letter is a pitch for one book.

That goes against every advice I've seen, which says you don't want it to appear like you're sitting on your hands waiting for one book to sell. (It's especially true in my case, with the contest win now 4 years old.) I'm not talking about pitching more than one book, just conveying with a few words that I don't intend to publish once and fade away.

 

[Havlen]

I should note that I don't claim to be an expert on agents (and, being from the U.S., I can't saw what U.K. agents might want/expect).

However, I've never seen that advice given, and I have seen just the opposite (leave it to one book in the pitch). That doesn't mean the advice isn't out there -- I haven't read the entire internet... yet!

At the very most, I would only put a blurb in the biographical section like "I am currently working on my next novel" and leave it at that.

Personally, I wouldn't even put that much. The one thing I do know is that it is the writing that will sell. That includes the writing of the query letter, synopsis, and the book itself. I wouldn't waste the space on mentioning another project because in the end if an agent loves what you've written they are going to ask to see more, and if they don't love it then nothing in the query letter is going to convince them to want to see more.

It is kind of like the objective in a resume. A lot of people advise to put one in, but you should almost never have one on your resume. It won't get you the job, so it can only hurt you.

Again, these are just my opinions. I'll be interested to see what John has to say on the subject.

 

[Teresa Edgerton]

The advice used to be not to confuse agents and editors by mentioning other books you were working on, but now it seems they are only interested in taking on those authors who they feel have a career in the making -- which is to say, more than one book. So it is a good idea to mention that you are working on or have completed another book, and to say a very few words about what the book is about.

But, yes, they do prefer consistency. Telling them that you are working on something quite different from the book queried or submitted is not going to help you sell that book. (Although if they like your writing, they may ask to see the other.)

Telling an agent that another agent liked your book but didn't take it ... that doesn't sound like it would help. Because while you are saying that someone else thought it was good, you are also saying that someone else thought the book would be difficult to sell to a publisher. So the negative cancels out the positive.

 

[Tirellan]

I've seen a couple of agent blogs in the last few months (Nathan Bransford of CurtisBrown comes to mind) that say that you should not mention other works in a query letter. Once the agent is interested in your work it is a good thing to have other books to offer, but not before.

 

[Susan Boulton]

I think you should draft a basic query letter, then tailor it for each agent/publisher you submit to. Research what each agent/publisher wants and give them that. Who knows an extra sentence or paragraph might get a part manuscript requested.

 

[Teresa Edgerton]

I've seen a couple of agent blogs in the last few months (Nathan Bransford of CurtisBrown comes to mind) that say that you should not mention other works in a query letter. Once the agent is interested in your work it is a good thing to have other books to offer, but not before.

It might be the difference between mainstream publishing and genre publishing.

I've always believed that you only mentioned one project at a time, until John Jarrold recently said otherwise, and he definitely has his hand on the pulse of SF/F publishing.

On the other hand, Sue is right. If an agent tells you what he or she wants (and doesn't want) than you send them what they ask for.

 

[JFLewis]

Thanks, you two, particularly for mentioning the agents.

One thing I'm always sure to mention in queries is the two more manuscripts and third in progress. But a question for anyone who might know: would an agent prefer to see consistency in a potential genre client's work (i.e. following up hard SF with more hard SF) or diversity (near future, far future, historical, etc.)?

Edit:

Yet another question: A fairly well-known agent asked for the manuscript, gave me rewrite suggestions on it, and is currently considering the re-draft non-exclusively. Assuming he passes, is this something I should mention in queries--in the sense that it says a colleague in the business liked it enough to offer advice and take a second look? If yes, do I mention the agent by name?

In the initial phases of my agent search, I tried querying multiple projects at once with little success. When I queried Shawna McCarthy (my absolutely wonderful agent), I queried only the book for which I had the best sounding pitch. I waited to mention my other projects until Shawna had read my manuscript (typescript in the UK - because I certainly didn't write it by hand), asked for a rewrite, received and agreed to represent said rewrite... only then did I mention the other projects.

Your mileage may vary, but that's what worked for me.

Jeremy