Crackpot Theories

Discussion in 'SFF lounge' started by dustinzgirl, Jun 6, 2007.

  1.  
    dustinzgirl

    dustinzgirl Mod of Awesome

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    This is where we will discuss our little crackpot theories that would not make any sense in any form of mundane reality without a sci fi element.

    For example, one of my crackpot theories is thus:

    OK, first off, this is by no means meant to diminish the recent shooting deaths.

    That being said, has anyone but me wondered any of the following--
    and yes, it may be because of I've seen one too many sci fi movies....

    but...

    Ok so what if these random increasing murders are not really random increasing murders, but a more sinister plot.

    First, lets look at the fact that most prior suspects have some mental instability but few priors. They all fit a similar profile.

    Second, what if time travel in say, the Qauantum Leap sense was possible? If someone from the future could effectively take over someone else's body for a few hours? Or even in the Terminator cyborg sense, they could have any image they want, and obviously its not that hard to utterly hide or destroy a body.

    Third, what if these murders were not random at all, but say the people at VT were going to renovate freedom in America, or make a better world, one that is not controlled by oligopolies and money and sick corporations? We've all seen this, but in the 'goodwill' sense. But it is a standard plot in many movies/series, off the top of my head I can name Minority Report, Terminator, De Ja Vu, Doctor Who, even the series Charmed has ran similar plot lines for the son of the witches......Now, since some movies in the past actually have predicted some outcomes, earliest to mind is A Trip To The Moon (1902)....hell, even Orwell's 1984 has some strong implications here. So, you have to ask...what if?

    Could there actually be a corporate-government futuristic conspiracy set at killing people before they say have children or grow into people who change the world for the better?

    Current science says that is not possible. But what about 200 years from now? Mabye the future corporation and governments are conspiring to murder people before they give birth to a better generation. Perhaps they are controlling thier own futures---in the same way current corps control competition and profits, by leveraging thier buy-outs. In this then the leverage is the time travel and the buy-outs are the murders of innocents.
  2.  
    HardScienceFan

    HardScienceFan 'what to eat' fan

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    Cripes,Dusty,this is spooky.
    Look atwhat I just posted in 'critiques'.
    I HADN'T SEEN YOUR POST YET WHEN I TYPED THAT BIT HONEST TO GOD
  3.  
    dustinzgirl

    dustinzgirl Mod of Awesome

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    WOW HSF

    That must mean its true!!

    See, thats exactly what I was thinking. I mean, what if in the future, time travel is a controlled commodity---like, owning an island is nowadays.....then only the super powerful and super rich would control it and they could change the future based on what they wanted the future to be...there wouldn't even be any like, arguments or protests because the people that headed it up would never exist....

    Any other crazy theories?

    C'mon, I know you guys got them!

    (And I still frimly believe JD and Chris are robots)
  4.  
    Leisha

    Leisha Tennis-ball Robin

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    Perhaps that's a theory, then, DG. Perhaps the world is being secretly overrun by robots that resemble humans. Or maybe it's an alien invasion, where no one is supposed to notice the quiet takeover. Ooh, yet you've sussed them out. Watch out, they'll try and turn you next!

    I've watched X-Files! They ARE out there! ("they" being whichever secret organisation you prefer. :D)
  5.  
    Quokka

    Quokka wandering

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    Ok I'm not so sure a revelation of this magnitude belongs in a thread using the term crackpot but the New Yorker is stalling (or covering for somebody?) and people have a right to know!

    In fact where better to start the revolution than with the open minds of chronies.

    Now I've never been a big chocolate fan, I'm more of a chip/crisp person myself and let me tell you there were dark forces in play with that decision as well but one sacred thruth at a time. My favourite chips of all are Samboy BBQ's (as are any true follower's of light and justice) and here's where we enter the rabbit hole, for the last year or so its been increasingly difficult to find said chips, more and more they have been replaced in the stores by imposters, by loathsome substitutes, by Smiths chips.

    Now this in itself is worrying, nay crippling but here I must be the harbringer of a yet more global concern.

    As I stared loathingly at these pretenders of potato perfection I was struck down by a revelation that must now be shared with the world, regardless of the chaos that must ensue.

    This is no mere culinary take over my friends, the taste buds and waistlines of the human race are but a stepping stone, trod over in the achievement of a far more sinister plan.

    By now I am sure that many of you have followed my train of thought to its inevitable conclusion but for those less enlightened souls, let us shed light upon this threat to humanity itself. Like a $2 key-chain torch illuminates the locked door of knowledge.

    Ask yourself this non-believers. Why, in all the history of the Star Wars, have we never seen the female followers of the dark side?

    I am compelled to dispel the ignorance that has until now shielded our eyes, the truth will be freed. While Darth Sidious's successor and his fiendish cohorts are delaying our Jedi saviours with meaningless faints and distractions, the true threat is nearly upon us. The female companions of those dark warriors will soon decend upon the earth and the end is nigh and inevitable.

    It was the spirit of Obi-Wan himself that spoke to me at 2am in that fateful BP and revealed the true evil of this Smiths corporation as now I have shared it with you, let the word be spread over the world for we are in perilous danger from a dark entity insidiously hidden before us and but for the truth revealed by the anagram Smiths we would yet be unaware.

    The world may well end but at the least we shall not be blind to its passing at the hands of those that answer to Ms Sith.
    Last edited: Jun 7, 2007
  6.  
    chrispenycate

    chrispenycate resident pedantissimo Staff Member

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    Actually, even modern physics doesn't rule out your theory, as long as it is information, rather than matter or energy that is transported; and what is personality, mind, but information? And Clarkes second(?) law states that "When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong."
    Clarke defines the adjective 'elderly' as :"In physics, mathematics and astronautics it means over thirty; in other disciplines, senile decay is sometimes postponed to the forties. There are of course, glorious exceptions; but as every researcher just out of college knows, scientists of over fifty are good for nothing but board meetings, and should at all costs be kept out of the laboratory". (in Profiles of the Future.)
    The trouble with this kind of time travel is that if (for them) it has happened, for us it is going to happen, no free will, no hope of improvement, the most rigid of predestination. ugh. If it's aliens (or goverment civil masters or the moonies) we at least get the chance to fight back; perhaps there are tests in place to detect excessively independant kids, and a country-wide network of pre-programmed berserkers, merely requiring triggering at the right moment? I'd expect a hospital to be the logical programming centre; has anyone investigated the medical histories of those who've perpetrated the crimes?

    firmly
    I will promise that, shoud you prick me, I bleed (and I ought to go and do that now and check my blood sugar levels. Still, a biological robot is quite an acceptable concept; how about if I promised that I would never, nor program anyone else to, shoot up a school? After all, as a robot I'm presumably incapable if lying.
  7.  
    tangaloomababe

    tangaloomababe Living in Paradise

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    Maybe just maybe JD could be a robot, but not Chris, I mean what robot would think of putting the kettle on. They dont drink tea. and I mean look at that face, nope cannot believe that, however Quokka I like your thinking with the chips and dark side (I too have found BBQ increasingly hard to get, infact Samboy any flavour of chips hard to get) You could be onto something.
  8.  
    HardScienceFan

    HardScienceFan 'what to eat' fan

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    'This particular morning' I had to get up early,because I had been told on the phone that I would be visited by two gentlemen,who just had to see me.So,when the doorbell rang this morning,I strode downstairs unhurriedly,dignified,with my Pepe Le Pew pyjamas,pipe,pink slippers,and folded copy of today's Izvestia under my arm.
    George was looking on from the top of the stairs,he dislikes early visitors.
    When I opened the door I immediately knew something was very wrong.
    The individuals standing there were so nondescript and instantly forgettable it was creepy.
    'Morning,gents',I intoned with a strange quaver in my voice.
    "You are the person called HSF"?
    'Yes' ,I answered, 'who wants to know?Can I see some ID please?'
    'He is Smith,I am Jones,but it could be the other way around'
    'How very quaint,gentlemen,I know people with those very names,from the Yellow pages.Now,if you'll excuse me....'
    I was roughly pushed backwards by 'Smith',but it could have been 'Jones' also.
    'Can it buster,we're in no mood to play games'
    My arm was twisted behind my back and I was shoved into the sofa.
    I asked 'Gentlemen,from your lack of distinguishing physiognomy and manners,I infer that you are from the Government?'
    'Jones' replied 'Heck,mister we are so secret the Government doesn't even know of our existence.AND we need you to do something for us'
    'And if I don't cooperate?'
    'Smith' smiled,a totally horrifying rictus,devoid of even the faintest glimmer of humanness.
    'Ahh Mr.HSF,IF THAT IS YOUR TRUE NAME,the last man who said that to us made the coroner very nauseous indeed,the poor guy had to apply for another job.You see,our job is basically a boring one...When we get the chance to be creative,we are.I don't suppose you have power tools anywhere?'
    'Ok,guys,I see your point.Give me the bad news'
    Jones leaned towards me,almost whispering.
    'You see Mr HSF,we want you the infiltrate the Chronicles'
    yes people you guessed it.
    All of this happened three months ago.
  9.  
    dustinzgirl

    dustinzgirl Mod of Awesome

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    You just couldn't help yourself, could you?

    You are a grammar bot, and a good one at that! Now you really can not convince me that you are not programmed for grammar!

    :D

    PS: HSF, LOL!
  10.  
    chrispenycate

    chrispenycate resident pedantissimo Staff Member

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    I'm definitely not programmed for typing. "Shoud" And parentheses left open. If I wereanyone but me I'd jump on myself from a great height.

    Mind you, I'm programmed to generate and elucidate crackpot theories too, if required.
  11.  
    fantasy noob

    fantasy noob i hate working

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    i have theiory that all fiction is real and "god" only gives the writers or creators the knowledge of these things but its all real in seperate universes and planets

    i also have a thery that me and u do not exist we are all computer programs o0n the mother board of the universe and our existance is meaningless
  12.  
    scalem X

    scalem X I am, the scallywag

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    Mmm about the time travelling:
    There is no real prove, but if these individuals would know how to time travel, would they not infiltrate into the beginning, rather than say the year 2000? Why not 'spoil' the world beforehand. The only viable theory would be that they had no archeological knowledge of the ages before. So if I stick to your theory, we could prevent ourselves from their coming by erasing the tracks of our existence to future humans. Erase the tracks of our existence to defend ourselves from the future humans...
  13.  
    HardScienceFan

    HardScienceFan 'what to eat' fan

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    several of my crackpot theories:
    Whitney Houston can sing
    George Bush can think
    Bono and Sting have real names
    Bono I guess is Ron Watkins and Sting is Gareth Wildebeest
    the pope is evil,see added pic

    Attached Files:

  14.  
    scalem X

    scalem X I am, the scallywag

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    Evil, I can see he wears white and a cross and that ow now I see it, he spent too many times up reading the same book over and over again:p
  15.  
    HardScienceFan

    HardScienceFan 'what to eat' fan

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    I also have a conspiracy theory about Google.You see there is this Hungarian composer called Hrad Porn*1877-1967*,and.......
  16.  
    HoopyFrood

    HoopyFrood Iago with a Blackberry

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    I trust most theories in science. Well, gravity's a bit dodgey, but it's managed to keep me on this earth (well, corporally at least, I can't say much about mentally) for the last twenty years, so I give it the benefit of the doubt.

    Expect for the one that keeps aeroplanes up in the air. It's not right, huge things like that soaring through the sky because of the difference in air pressure. Flying doesn't scare me, by the way, I love to fly...but I don't trust that theory. And one day it's going to find out and turn its back on me. Hopefully it won't make all its friends gang up on me as well, otherwise I might just suddenly fall off the earth...
  17.  
    dustinzgirl

    dustinzgirl Mod of Awesome

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    That took me a minute, but once I got the joke I lol'ed!
  18.  
    HardScienceFan

    HardScienceFan 'what to eat' fan

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    You disappoint me,Dusty.Tsk,stk,a minute,no less.
    Hrad Porn is a composer a lot of people Google.He's not that well known actually.Because his pieces are very atonal,full of dissonants,he is largely forgotten now
    His most famous piece is called: Eno Nhgti Dnast,which is hungarian for
    Margana.
  19.  
    dustinzgirl

    dustinzgirl Mod of Awesome

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    LOL

    I think I heard that composition once or twice back in my early years. It went well with being really, really drunk.

    ;)
  20.  
    brsrkrkomdy

    brsrkrkomdy New Member

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    My crackpot theory is this: World events are set up in such a way that public opinion is being shaped for the benefit of mass manipulation by secret organizations and shadow governments with the intent of world domination. And the global populace of people from all walks of life like you and me have no knowledge of what really happened. And if we do, the informations we culled from the Internet are automatically dismissed as another set of crackpot conspiracy theories. After all, we are manipulated to disbelieve anything that's even remotely true. Cthulhu Fatagn!

    Seriously, I cooked up this little "theory" from several sources like newspapers and such. Even a little bit of Jean Baudrillard. ;)

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