a question bout the history of a world

[asher marquering]

if the history of the world affects the characters in the story indirectly should it be explained during the story or in a prologue or should it be avoided as its considered info dumping this is part of my expedition idea so heres the prologue that i wrote didn't intend for it to become a prologue or anything i was just doing a bit of world building/reforming

During the Great Asia war, the natural environment of majority of Asia showed irreplaceable damages. By the year 2051, due to massive environmental restoration failure, faith had shifted from science to the older ways of belief. In the year 2101, the remains of a strange birdlike creature appeared 10 kilometres southwest of Haikou; this creature appeared to be the remains of the mythical creature Fenghuang. Because of this, some believed that other mythical creatures and beings could exist. One private investor, Eadburga Wang, hires a team to find evidence of the monkey king. She believes he holds some secrets to restore the atmosphere to its pre-Great Asia war state. The atmosphere is by far not the only problem but she believes it is a start.

This is where our story begins

 

[Dave]

I'm not one of the authors here, just a reader, but I can tell you want I would prefer to read. Rather than have a great 'Lord of the Rings' world mythos, written in half a dozen appendices at the back of the book, that few would read, it would be better to have some younger characters sitting around a campfire, who ask an elder, "Tell us the story of the monkey king again granddad." Then the story is told in character by the elder character. If it is a long story it could be told in a series of parts. I've read books where such a story is revealed in parts, and those historical parts mirror the present day part of the story, with only as much being revealed as necessary at that point in the present day story. I think that is far more interesting as a reader.

 

[Pyan]

No, I'd say this was fine, especially if it was on a separate page just before the story itself began. Short, and informative - nothing wrong with that.

During the Great Asia war, the natural environment of majority of Asia showed irreplaceable damages. By the year 2051, due to massive environmental restoration failure, faith had shifted from science to the older ways of belief. In the year 2101, the remains of a strange birdlike creature appeared 10 kilometres southwest of Haikou; this creature appeared to be the remains of the mythical creature Fenghuang. Because of this, some believed that other mythical creatures and beings could exist.

"the" before "majority: "damages" should be singular, perhaps "were found" rather than "appeared", unless that is actually what happened; a miraculous appearance.
I'd also drop a paragraph, or even a whole blank line in here, as it shifts from general background to something more story-specific: it also shifts tense.

One private investor

do you mean "investor" or "investigator" here? if you do mean the former, perhaps a one or two word description of why her investments are relevant?

, Eadburga Wang, hires a team to find evidence of the monkey king. She believes he holds some secrets to restore the atmosphere to its pre-Great Asia war state. The atmosphere is by far not

this is clumsy - better to shift the "by far" to after "problem",and put it in commas

the only problem but she believes it is a start.

and a gap to the last line

This is where our story begins

Sounds interesting!

 

[asher marquering]

at first i thought i would avoid it but maybe l put it in for background purposes and maybe even a prequel spinoff political and/or wartime drama

maybe

 

[Culhwch]

I think there is a place for it, but not in its current form. It's too artificial, for mine, and I'd like to see something more organic. As it's science fiction, I'd stay away from labelling it a 'Prologue' as such, and present this info as an excerpt form a newspaper or history book or some such... For instance, somehting like:

from Global News (05-02-2101)

HAIKOU: Archaeologists from the University of Beijing yesterday announced an exciting new find at a site some ten kilometres southwest of Haikou on Hainan Island, Hainan Province, China. Professor Cheng Xiang described the as yet unidentified fossil as 'a strange, birdlike creature like nothing we have seen before'.

'This is a very exciting find,' Professor Cheng said. 'Since the Great Asia War many archaeological important sites have come to fore. This find could rewrite the history books.'

Xu Feng, popular author of Mysticism in the Twenty-First Century, has a different theory on the find. 'Can there be any doubt?' Feng told a press conference hastily convened at his offices in Shanghai. 'What we are seeing are the remains of the great Huangfeng. This find ushers in a new age of faith in our country...'

And then you could launch into the story proper, with the team arriving at Weng's house or office or whatever, to be told of the mission.

 

[Lenny]

I'd say that something short like that, as a mini-prologue, is perfectly fine.

I do it in everything I've written - I use it to set the scene before the story begins.

 

[The Ace]

After what Dave said, a good example would be Richard Adam's, "Watership Down," as the deeds of el-arairah, are spread throughout the narrative, giving the reader a picture of the past as the present unfolds. David Eddings, "Belgariad," and "Mallorean," take a different approach as the prologue to each volume tells a part of the history of his world relevant to the main text, but I often find these tedious.

 

[jackokent]

I don't like getting a history lesson in big chunks. I've read the camp fire type example and always found it contrived. I've skimmed through the prologues and found them boring. My strong preference is to have the history delivered in tantilising little snippets that fit with the story. In your example, someone could come across teh bird and then say "this must the the only thing left from the Great Asia war" or something.

 

[iansales]

Such blatant info-dumps are considered bad technique -- and most especially a prologue that is nothing but an info-dump. If you need to get information across to the reader, then streamline it into the narrative.

 

[Lenny]

There's an idea... if you're writing a series, and you've got a whole host of important historical events, then it makes sense to make them into books. Why spend pages unnecessarily telling the reader about an event in detail, when they can read about it in another book in the series?

 

[Simon Kind]

I'm not a big fan of prologues, if details can't be worked into the story then should it be there anyway?

 

[jackokent]

I like prologues but not info dumps. I love the really short exerts you get at the beginning of James Bond films and I like prologues to be the same ... ie suck you into the book.

 

[Green]

Here's my thoughts on the whole prologue/infodump thing:

A prologue is not an infodump. If your prologue is looking like it's just an infodump, if that's all it's there for, then dump it.

A prologue should serve a purpose that relates to the story, but at the same time be separate from it (otherwise, why isn't it just Chapter 1?), and, perhaps, in some way pave the way for it, thematically or otherwise. This doesn't mean that a prologue should be the history of all that came before - that would be bad technique.

Have a read of the prologues of all your favourite books - I would bet that the vast majority of them do not have a purely infodump structure. They will have something from a different angle, or telling part of the story that has import not immediately obvious. Perhaps they are separated in time, perhaps not. I'm a big fan of the prologue, if done correctly, but always keep in mind that they are not essential.

Also, there is nothing wrong with infodump, and in truth it is essential in all stories ("Tell me, oh wise Obi Wan, what happened to my father?")... the key is getting it across without it seeming contrived. I'm with Jack in that I find the campfire infodump contrived. I think it's a difficult thing, and something that you probably can't get perfect on the first pass - give it your best shot, and improve it on the rewrite.

My advice is: Leak it in gradually. If I've noticed infodumping in a book, and not found it poor or just plain crap, I've often found the following "formula" to be pretty prevalent:

1. Mention the thing you want to infodump in passing. Just mention it, as though it's completely normal and an everyday thing. This serves to make the reader go, "Eh? What was that?"

2. A while later (perhaps a couple of chapters later or something), mention it again. Perhaps talk about it in a little bit of detail. The reader thinks, "Hmm. I remember reading that. I wonder what that's all about."

3. Later still, and when it is actually important to the story, explain the thing. "Ah, so that's what that is. Cool."

This is crude, but can be effective if not too intrusive.

 

[Daniel Hetberg]

Tad Williams' Otherland series has random max-one-page columns opening each chapter. Although they're not related to the story at all, they imho greatly expand the sense of world detail and consistency. Like, you would find an excerpt from personals, or advertising, or movie reviews and stuff like that. If you have more background info to 'dump', you could consider this variant.

 

[flynx]

I thought that was fine Asher. Not too long, plenty of background and reminded me a little bit of the Starwars prologue.

You could use it quite easily, but it needs some heavy editing.

I remember watching a series on TV called 'Monkey', very entertaining and this sounds like a good start to a good story. That series also had a narrator and you could easily use yours throughout.

I was a bit unsure about the names you used though. Haikou? Fenghuang? They could well be real but sound a bit contrived.