THE VOICE FROM WITHOUT - Short story

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conradbrean

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THE VOICE FROM WITHOUT

Although they knew exactly what they were there for, none of them was quite prepared for the events which would unfold. Perhaps it was due to the psychological nature of those events, residing entirely in their minds, begging for outside corroboration.

Dr. Ladder led the twelve men down a flight of stairs into a non-descript lab environment, located in the basement of a prominent Ivy League university. They signed the informed consent papers and then each of them laid down in stretchers.

The experiment centered on administering a substance to the test subjects which the lab was developing, based on psilocybin, a well known psychedelic drug. The subjects had been hand picked due to their extremely religious personalities.

A few minutes passed. Ladder was pleased, but not shocked, to find that the men began to speak of intense religious feelings and, in some cases, of sensing “a presence.”

After days of analysis, the group zeroed in on a particular subject. Steven Reynolds was a librarian and frequent church goer. He didn’t just talk the talk. He walked the walk. That’s exactly what picked Ladder’s curiosity. How could it be that, according to the files, this man had stated he had communicated with an outer space entity after the drug intake?

They called him in to have an informal follow up interview. Once he arrived, he recounted how deeply he felt about the alien episode. It had been a life altering experience. In a sense, he felt he had gotten a rotten deal; he wanted his life back. He went on to reveal something which would soon become an extremely well kept national security secret. The communications had continued afterwards.

Reynolds said he was troubled by a particular aspect of the communications. He said he usually sat down, notepad in hand, and wrote in “automatic writing.” He expressed his concern regarding the fact that the messages where of predictive nature. He was being told about natural disasters all over the globe before they took place. The team immediately asked to see the notes. He handed them, still perplexed by the situation.

One morning, two men in grey suits showed up at Mr. Reynolds’ door. They identified themselves as law enforcement agents. They asked if he had ever been given a security clearance. Knowing little about the subject, the distraught man said he hadn’t.

Once they arrived at a secluded hangar, which the spooks identified as a government “safe house,” they began to interrogate Reynolds further. They asked the name of the entity he was purportedly in contact with. He replied “Satt.” They wanted to know where it came from. He said, jokingly “why, it came from outer space,” to calm himself down. Since the agents were still stone-faced, he said all he knew was the voice sounded artificial, almost robotic.

This was when Dr. Sheila Marks, who was a therapist specializing in deep regressive hypnosis, made her appearance. After introducing herself, she asked the agents to leave the two alone for a moment. They complied.

What she was about to tell him would make Mr. Reynolds’ mind warp even further. She stated that there had been other contactees of his own nature, but they had all died of strange diseases. She told him something else, and asked him never to reveal it to another soul. She said that she had misgivings about the whole project. But the truth, as it had been briefed to her, was the following: She said the government was interested in reverse engineering Satt. She said the intelligence agencies were unsure about it themselves, but they had to check for a possible new angle on global warfare.

That’s where she came in. They wanted her to establish two way communication with the robotic entity. In order to control Satt, they would take advantage of the established psychic link, and then she would regress him and ask him to look into the operational capabilities and design of the machine. And turn the shy librarian into a one man weapon of mass destruction.

Mouth agape, Steven Reynolds asked why they had placed so much trust on the predictions. She replied that his latest predictions, which he had handed in, had all come to reality. Even the ones he had jotted down in a haste and didn’t even have an understanding of, had been looked into and had all come true. It was the year 2049.

In 2050 alone, an earthquake hit Kashmir, Pakistan. Sinkholes developed in populated areas of central China. A flood was recorded in the vicinity of Yangzte River, also in China. A limnic eruption took place in Lake Monoun, Cameroon, killing several people. At the time, all countries were known enemies of the US government.

Theo Antichi. All rights reserved.
 
THE VOICE FROM WITHOUT

Although they knew exactly what they were there for, none of them was quite prepared for the events which would unfold. Perhaps it was due to the psychological nature of those events, residing entirely in their minds, begging for outside corroboration.

Dr. Ladder led the twelve men down a flight of stairs into a non-descript lab environment, located in the basement of a prominent Ivy League university. They signed the informed consent papers and then each of them laid
I'm willing to be contradicted on this, but for me it's "each of them lay down on stretchers
down in stretchers.

The experiment centered on administering a substance to the test subjects which the lab was developing,
problem of word order; it wasn't the subjects that the lab was developing
based on psilocybin, a well known psychedelic drug. The subjects had been hand picked due to their extremely religious personalities.
possibly "for" rather than "due to"?
A few minutes passed. Ladder was pleased, but not shocked, to find that the men began to speak of intense religious feelings and, in some cases, of sensing “a presence.”

After days of analysis, the group
"the group"? The only group mentioned so far is the volunteers; and they would be unlikely to "zero in "on one of their number.
zeroed in on a particular subject. Steven Reynolds was a librarian and frequent church goer. He didn’t just talk the talk. He walked the walk. That’s exactly what picked
piqued
Ladder’s curiosity. How could it be that, according to the files, this man had stated
that
he had communicated with an outer space entity after the drug intake?

They called him in to have an informal follow up interview. Once he arrived
I suspect that first little block would flow better as "Once there"; "Once he had arrived" (since it precedes the following phrase, which is in the imperfect), is just too clumsy
, he recounted how deeply he felt about the alien episode. It had been a life altering
hyphen; life-altering
experience. In a sense, he felt he had gotten a rotten deal; he wanted his life back. He went on to reveal something which would soon become an extremely well kept national security secret.
I'd use a semicolon there; the two sentences transmit one integrated idea.
The communications had continued afterwards.

Reynolds said he was troubled by a particular aspect of the communications. He said he usually sat down, notepad in hand, and wrote in “automatic writing.” He expressed his concern regarding the fact that the messages where
were
of predictive nature. He was being told about natural disasters all over the globe before they took place. The team immediately asked to see the notes. He handed them,
We're short of something here. Logically, it would be "He handed them (the team) them(the papers), but that would feel like a stutter. Perhaps ""He handed them over"?
still perplexed by the situation.

One morning, two men in grey suits showed up at Mr. Reynolds’ door. They identified themselves as law enforcement agents. They asked if he had ever been given a security clearance. Knowing little about the subject, the distraught man said he hadn’t.
Why "distraught"? He hasn't been under particular stress so far, unless the predictions were pushing him over the edge

Once they arrived at a secluded hangar, which the spooks identified as a government “safe house,” they began to interrogate Reynolds further. They asked the name of the entity he was purportedly in contact with. He replied “Satt.” They wanted to know where it came from. He said, jokingly “why, it came from outer space,” to calm himself down. Since the agents were still stone-faced, he said all he knew was the voice sounded artificial, almost robotic.
I know that "that"s can be left understood, but the rest of your wording is so precise that the two missing in this sentence jar.

This was when Dr. Sheila Marks, who was a therapist specializing in deep regressive hypnosis, made her appearance. After introducing herself, she asked the agents to leave the two
of them?
alone for a moment. They complied.

What she was about to tell him would make Mr. Reynolds’ mind warp even further. She stated that there had been other contactees of his own nature,
"of his own nature"? Why not simply "like him"?
but they had all died of strange diseases. She told him something else, and asked him never to reveal it to another soul. She said that she had misgivings about the whole project. But the truth, as it had been briefed
"as she had been briefed"(or even "informed"?
to her, was the following: She said the government was interested in reverse engineering Satt. She said the intelligence agencies were unsure about it themselves, but they had to check for a possible new angle on global warfare.

That’s where she came in. They wanted her to establish two way communication with the robotic entity. In order to control Satt, they would take advantage of the established psychic link, and then she would regress him and ask him to look into the operational capabilities and design of the machine. And turn the shy librarian into a one man weapon of mass destruction.

Mouth agape, Steven Reynolds asked why they had placed so much trust on the predictions. She replied that his latest predictions, which he had handed in, had all come to reality. Even the ones he had jotted down in a haste and didn’t even have an understanding of,
try and get rid of one of the "evens" Possibly simplify to "jotted down in haste and didn't understand"?
had been looked into and had all come true. It was the year 2049.

In 2050 alone, an earthquake hit Kashmir, Pakistan. Sinkholes developed in populated areas of central China. A flood was recorded in the vicinity of Yangzte River, also in China. A limnic eruption took place in Lake Monoun, Cameroon, killing several people. At the time, all countries were known enemies of the US government.

Theo Antichi. All rights reserved.

A tendency to overcomplicate the wording; at times it almost feels like "legalese". There are some assumptions (the fact that something came across as devoid of emotion proving that it was robotic, rather than a translation program from some unimaginable thought process or the fact that the predictions had some sort of causitive effect, rather than being warnings of some inevitable event.
 
Hey, chrispenycate, thanks for the pointers. It's quite true that it kind of sounds like legalese; I've been told that before. I guess I've done too much scientific reading and developed some bad habits.
 
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