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I think Ryden's second one looks better without borders and such. I myself prefer the old pencil without photoshop or anything. This way I can put in a little tiny detail in everything (Especially when I draw city maps 3 dimensionally, gotta put detail in the buildings), and not let color...

I'll do as much as I can handle Embry would be the largest they had attacked. I would use besieged instead of attacked, sounds cooler. With two legions, consisting of a thousand war riders behind him on their black kraals, he was going to burn it to the ground, leaving nothing behind...

It's like a dark blue - purple mix, not a rich purple. I think I'll just restate your writing, change a couple things to show what I would change or write, then give my opinion. The hour belonged to its rich inheritors. From a zenith (A zenith is a highest point so I don't know how you apply...

First...grammar (I won't correct the misspellings) The rain, pouring from dark clouds, prevented my exploration of the forests I’d been forbidden to enter and so I remained in the drearily decorated room, waiting for my parents to return and continue to bore me with accounts of their travels...

It's good, but I'd say its too simple. I've drawn literally thousands of maps, and they come out much better if you spend a lot of time drawing a lot of detail, etc. Look at JRR tolkiens middle-earth map

"A kingdom under a hidden attack" I would take the word "a" or change the end of the phrase just because it sound kind of grammatically incorrect to me. It may be must my style, but I would make this one sentence, then make the rest of the sentence a seperate sentence. The rest of your first...

I just think all these thoughts should be spaced out a little, no offense but the narrator sounds like a chatty school girl =p

Wouldn't that be an awesome book? Battle owls sweeping down on spear-throwing hordes of mice. :D

oh yeah, i love Go!

I've posted my entire story up to chapter 4 (about 40 pages of 8.5 by 11 paper) on here twice over a couple months to get some different critique, but I don't have the energy and I doubt you do so I'd like to know what you think of my Intro, and my Intro only :D Introduction The sun reached...

Here's corrections of some sentences: I could see him standing there through the fog, gripping a single beaten bag (of what? better description) while tears flooded his vivid emerald eyes. No color was left in his face. He stood there, his body contorted. The picture reminded me of ruins; a...

I naturally liked this character from the start, but I have a couple comments. "To lead what’s left of his surrogate family and other families to safety." Fromt he rest of your description it seems that Donik's life is at a peaceful and orderly stage. If your to write a story around him, I'm...

I couldn't find a good poetry forum, and I've been a member of Chronicles for a while so I thought a poem could get some critique (: Release By Will S. Inner breathlessness, outer restlessness By the time I caught up to freedom I was out of breath Grandma asked me what I'm running for I...

I really need a video of Nog laughing, having it be a slip-second act in a 5 minute video on youtube, etc doesnt matter - i just need to shwo my friend him laughing because I think his laugh sounds exactly like it.:D

heh interesting, i am actually writing my own book which is a thread close to yours in this forum if you want to check it out (i have msot the book posted though so far). Before writing the book though I literally thought about it for years and drew about a couple thousand maps and notes. :D

And man explored space, in peace, forever....

it seems like a pretty common idea, but individual in its own. I think that it would be pretty difficult to write though, it takes a special talent to be able to write books like that. All in all, I think it doable and if you think its worthwhile go for it, I'm sure it would be pretty popular...

They walked ceremoniously side-by-side in seemingly deep meditation as they approached the monastery at the edge of the Temple District. Two passing night guards didn’t even give them a glance, as monks are some of the only citizens of Sargon with the privilege to be out in late hours. They...

Chapter 2 A Dark Task It was night. There was no sign of the dank stone walls surrounding the alcove except those covered by moonlight. The temple seemed to be hidden in shadow covered by layer over layer of darkness. Above the indentation in the Temple of Lothliar stood its pinnacle, the...

He remembered the white mountain-tops surrounding his valley. The valley of the Yellow Locust was a wonderful site, not made repulsive by the fires and bricks of industry and the corruption of power. The valley lay to the north, surrounded on three sides by great mountains, a natural defense...