DISCUSSION -- April 2015 300-word Writing Challenge (#17)

:) Telford, thank you! For the vote certainly, but the kind words--wow! I already have trouble finding hats (because of my big noggin), but your nice comments are pushing my hat size up a notch or two. :) Greatly appreciated, and I'm very happy you liked the story. CC
 
Shortlist:

Jo Zebedee

Juliana

Denise Tanaka

Starbeast

Tywin

Cascade

Ursa major


That's longer than usual for me, reflecting the difficulty I had judging this one. There was a very wide range of approaches to this challenge. After looking at all the entries again, I had to select those which seemed most real to me; those which made it easy for me to suspend my disbelief and enter the worlds which these authors had created. With that in mind, here are my choices.

VOTES

"Planes and Trains" by holland.

This calm slice-of-life from the near future was completely convincing. It's a fine example of the most difficult type of science fiction to do well. The author seems to have peered into tomorrow and brought back a report on what was found there.

"A Reminder of Guilt" by Perpetual Man

Here the author creates a local legend which has the authenticity of a genuine folk story. The realistic details of a specific time and place lead to an almost mystical feeling of nostalgia in the reader. It seems that we are reading about events which are both strange and familiar, like half-lost memories.

"The Last Flight of AIbel 7" by johnnyjet

Creating a three-dimensional character is one of the most difficult tasks for any writer of fiction. This task is particularly challenging when the character is something other than a human being. The author has accomplished this feat with distinction.
 
I always like having 3 votes, as opposed to the single ones for the 75 word challenges. Even with 3 though it's still often a difficult task to whittle it down from all the excellent entries. Anywho, following is my shortlist and votes(*).

TheDustyZebra-Through a Glass, Darkly-damn that Bermuda Triangle, mixing time travel into mysterious disappearances.
Ursa Major-Burning Devotion- religious intolerance, paid back with fiery retribution.
johnnyjet-The last Flight of AIbel 7- an old man reunites with an old ship for one last hurrah. What do they have to lose?
Victoria Silverwolf-The Survivor-isolation, a slow descent into madness, and a final release. Very poignant. *
Ashleyne. B. Watts-Heels Over Head (Alternate Lifestyle)- a chilling story that could have been on The Twilight Zone tv series. Or the Outer limits.*
mosaix-Learning Curve-Snarth joins the human race in being unable to understand the human race. *
 
This month's stories were amazing. It's gonna be hard deciding which to shortlist and vote for. Here are my thoughts/reviews:


The Milk of Freedom (A Modern Fairy Dairy Tale) by Cats Cradle – Written in the style of a charming political soliloquy that 'milks' the audience. This tale could possibly be a prophecy of the future. One day, other species could rise up and fight for their rights, and so they should.


WITH A WHIMPER NOT A BANG by Jo Zebedee – The author took me on a vivid downward spiral. The imagery within this piece dragged me in to a fantastical mirror, reflecting the effects of drug abuse. A chilling depiction of how addiction can take over one's life; a life where nothing matters but the vice.


Whisper in the Wind by Juliana – Little details kept me intrigued as I joined the character's journey, ending on a reveal which I found was dark, yet comforting.


The Airplaneby Denise Tanaka – A humorously written example of what can happen when you don't think things through properly. Try too hard to be what you're not, and you may end up trapped in a life you never truly wanted.


Passage by Willwallace – A story exploring the begging and ending of the oldest religions. Makes me wonder of all the tradition and knowledge that must've been lost as apekind slowly evolved into humankind. An interesting look at how what was once popular can be rendered redundant.


Driving Into Darkness by Starbeast – An action-packed story about a fearless individual. The cold narration made the chilling content all the more powerful.


The Survivor by Victoria Silverwolf – A thrilling story of survival, showing how isolation can bring people together.


The Ace by Tywin - The author sent me on a whirlwind of an adventure by vividly capturing the power of a child's imagination.


Skylarking by telford - An exhilarating aerial battle. History is creatively mixed within the comedic banter of the two characters. A story which show the effects of underestimating your enemy.


A Gift of Yesterday by jastius – The author concocted an imaginary tradition that took me to a place where chilling events are not only seen as acceptable, but normal also.


Economy by Cascade – A story of hope slowly fading away as children cope with the loss of those in authority. The innocent youth of the main character mixed with mysterious events gave a spooky feel.


How the Other Side Dies and Lives by LittleStar – Filled with horrific details and set in a horrific world, this story made me feel the characters' bitterness and fear. Those seen as less than human are treated no better than cattle.


Too Late by Ratsy – The author depicts how human instinct can sometimes be useless in the face of danger. A story portraying how regret always comes when it's too late.


New Flock by Remedy – With clever references to one of the most known bible stories, a government conspiracy is uncovered. One small voice can inspire the millions to rise up against ruthless giants.


Beyond by Luiglin – When the Gods come to visit, Tartak acts on the opportunity to walk amongst them. Those seen as godly can sometimes be more human than we realise.


The Heraldby Phrebrat – The authors sails us through the world like an ever blowing gust of wind, spreading the message of peace across civilisation.


The Spark of Consciousness by TitaniumTi – A scary story of how unpredictable a global catastrophe could be. Sometimes, the most curious things can be born through chaos.


Planes and Trains by holland – Riding a horse and cart was once the main way of getting about, but is now seen as a rare treat that not everyone experiences in this day and age. A interesting look at how airplanes could also be discarded and forgotten in favour of more efficient technology in the future.


A Day In The Life of A Dragon Keeper by Karn Meashalanadea – Kevin stares danger in the face without batting an eyelid, in this heroic tale, filled with excitingly imaginative fantasy.


After The Crash by Alchemist – A clever tale with subtle anthropomorphic quirks. The reader benefits from this tale's re-readability factor.


A Reminder of Guilt by Perpetual Man – A story that reminded me of how important it is to show respect by holding devastating events in our memories, no matter how much we'd rather forget them.


An udderly unbelievable lesson (I'm not kidding) by Moonbat – This tale is filled with philosophical humour. Misdirection proceeded the last line, amplifying the comedy and making me giggle.


Kerry Buchanon – An evil plan is put into action in this thrilling sci-fi adventure, taking the reader on a roller-coaster ride, ending on a devilishly funny pun.


The Last Flight of AIbel 7 by johnnyjet – No matter how old you are, no one wants to end up a broken down old wreck, to damaged to join in as the world moves on. Who wouldn't take the chance to relive their glory days.


Mettle Over Mind by Marmalade – Magical details bring this story to life. After being prodded and condescended, Sen gets the last laugh.


Derelict by Glen – This strange tale blurred the lines of reality, taking me into the mind of a character conflicted with his own existence.


The Return by Crystal haven – The character wakes and has to piece together the events of a catastrophe. A fuzzy memory adds fear to this story. That fear is cranked up when the character realises they're a long, long way away from home.


Learning Curve by Mosiax – A story displaying how unusual and intriguing human behaviour might appear when viewed from a being outside our species.


Things that die hard by Venusian Broon – The innocent curiously of a child is humorously portrayed. I like the idea of gremlins ruining our appliances and causing mischief; it'd be nice to have someone to blame when technical issues occur.


The Ballad of Failing Tours by Chrispenycate– A poetic story which left me with a feeling of melancholy. A tribute to the amazing things that can be experienced because of airplanes. The world slips into an almost vegetative state when tourism declines and the planes are left decomposing, grounded on their overgrown runways.


Tempus Fugit by The Judge – The author took me on an A-to-Z adventure to witness an attempt at correcting some of the worst atrocities in history. Does anyone have the right to change history, though? The effects could be unpredictable. It's better the devil you know.


Through a Glass, Darkly by TheDustyZebra – The legends and myths of the Bermuda triangle are used to describe the possibilities of recent and historical events involving missing air-crafts.


Burning Devotion - A religious symbol is cleverly twisted to tell a story of how non-conformity can cause one's piers to shun them.


Last Stand by Culwhch – Filled with explosive sci-fi action. A hero gives the ultimate sacrifice in a last ditch attempt to destroy the invaders.



I'm gonna take some time to think before voting.
 
Great stories.

Thanks to those who reviewed the stories. It's always good to hear how your story was received.

Thanks goodness we have three votes. My favourites this month were these:
  • Juliana - neat story, realistic details, and a touch of the supernatural
  • Starbeast - powerful, even shocking scenes, with a pleasing ambiguity - what were his reasons, why was he so angry?
  • Victoria Silverwolf - rich language, not a word wasted, engaging story
  • Tywin - the power of make-believe
  • Cascade - and I thought the flight from Aus to UK was bad
  • Remedy - a lot of story on a big stage in this short format
  • Phyrebrat - poetic, big picture, hopeful
  • holland - interesting focus on the past from the future
  • Culhwch - great atmosphere
 
Shortlist: Juliana

Votes: Tywin / Remedy / Karn Maeshalanadae
 
Thank you, Starbeast, for your review. It's considerably better than my story!

Suggested name for the story (far, far too late to be useful): Double Oh-oh.

You're welcome Kerrybuchanan. Oh Kerry, don't be so hard on yourself, I like what you came up with. I know it's tough to write a story within 300 words (and tougher for 75), but you do very well at writing stories. Don't feel alone, many of us are very critical of our own selves, it's normal. So, stay calm, and write on. Just relax and have fun with the challenges. Their good exercises for brain-stretching.

Excellent title.

Okay, what I said about the 75 goes double here. Sigh. Hours, yes hours, well one hour, reading and rereading these brilliant entries and I'm supposed to whittle them down? Not fair. Anyhoo:
Honorable mentions to everyone but in particular: Beasty, Remedy, Perp, Moonbat and Alc.

Thank you Telford for the short listing, you made my day.

Remedy & SB! Thank you for such a lovely review. That'll do in lieu of votes or mentions! #happy ;) pH

You're very welcome Phyrebrat.

Shortlist:

Jo Zebedee - Juliana - Denise Tanaka - Starbeast - Tywin - Cascade - Ursa major

Thank you Victoria Silverwolf for placing me on your list of favorites. You made my day.

This month's stories were amazing. It's gonna be hard deciding which to shortlist and vote for. Here are my thoughts/reviews:

Driving Into Darkness by Starbeast – An action-packed story about a fearless individual. The cold narration made the chilling content all the more powerful.

Wow! An amazing job of reviewing everyone. Thank you Ashleyne B. Watts.

Great stories.

Thanks to those who reviewed the stories. It's always good to hear how your story was received.

Thanks goodness we have three votes. My favourites this month were these:

Starbeast - powerful, even shocking scenes, with a pleasing ambiguity - what were his reasons, why was he so angry?

Thank you Glen for the short listing and complementing the reviews. You made my day.

300 words was tough to squeeze in my tale, but I'll talk about my entry after the voting.
 
I'm so bad at this listing stuff...I just cannot cull worth a darn. I'd intended my list to have no more than 10 names, and I think I have twice that, and even then the cutting was painful. So here we are:

Shortlist: Starbeast, Ashleyne, jastius, LittleStar, TitaniumTi, holland, Perp, Ursa

Semi-finalists: Juliana, Victoria, telford, Cascade, Remedy, Moonbat, Glen, TJ

Votes:
Jo Z., WITH A WHIMPER NOT A BANG--great atmosphere, terrific writing.
Tywin: The Ace--A beautifully-unfolding tale of innocence and imagination.
marmalade: Mettle Over Mind--an exciting tale, with wonderful characters and a terrific last line.

Best of luck in the voting to all participants! :)
 
Oy, forgive me, all...I think it was kind of suggested in another thread that sometimes a like is sufficient as a response in the discussion threads for these challenges, but sometimes it doesn't seem quite sufficient enough to me. So I'm going to be boorish, apologies. First, you are very welcome, telford...it's a terrific story. And LittleStar, thank you so much for the vote; it's truly appreciated! :)
 
What a great morning & it's Monday no less! Thanks for the great reviews, Victoria, Starbeast, Remedy & Ashleyne. An even bigger thanks to Tywin for the short listing. And the biggest thanks of all to Victoria & willwallace for the votes!

PS: Still painstakingly reviewing these awesome stories.
 
Really tough this time. All the entries are great. Congratulations to all!

However, I finally came up with:

Long List, Short List and *** Favorites ***:
*** The Milk of Freedom (A Modern Fairy Dairy Tale) - Cat's Cradle ***

Whisper in the Wind – Juliana
The Airplane - Denise Tanaka
Driving Into Darkness – Starbeast
The Survivor - Victoria Silverwolf
Economy – Cascade
The Herald – Phyrebrat
The Spark of Consciousness – TitaniumTi
Planes and Trains – Holland
After the Crash – alchemist
The Return - crystal haven
*** Learning Curve – mosaix ***
Things That Die Hard - Venusian Broon
*** Tempus Fugit - The Judge ***
Through a Glass, Darkly – TheDustyZebra

Last Stand – Culhwch
 
Firstly, thank you very much for the mentions thus far, and even more for the votes, Cascade and Marmalade. I'm already doing one better than last time... Next time three votes... then the world!:whistle:

I wouldn't usually do a short list, but this time around I could have voted for so many more, so I feel they need at least a mention from me:
TDZ
Venusian Broon
Mosaix
Marmalade
Perp
Remedy
Tywin
Jastius
Cascade
Juliana

They always are strong, but this month especially so in my book.

Also, @TheDustyZebra, I smell a novel in your entry:p Please, tell us the rest! I want to know how they all got caught up together!
 
I'm so bad at this listing stuff...I just cannot cull worth a darn. I'd intended my list to have no more than 10 names, and I think I have twice that, and even then the cutting was painful. So here we are:

Shortlist: Starbeast, Ashleyne, jastius, LittleStar, TitaniumTi, holland, Perp, Ursa

Thank you Cat's for placing me on your short list. You made my day.

Really tough this time. All the entries are great. Congratulations to all!

However, I finally came up with:

Long List, Short List and *** Favorites ***:
Driving Into Darkness – Starbeast

Thank you Johnnyjet for placing me on your long list. You made my day.



Votes
Cat's Cradle - "The Milk of Freedom (A Modern Dairy Tale)"
Ashleyne B. Watts - "HEELS OVER HEAD (ALTERNATE LIFESTYLE)"
Venusian Broon - "Things that die hard"




Finalists
Telford - Cascade - LittleStar - Ratsy - Remedy - Luiglin - Karn Maeshalanadae - Alchemist -
Perpetual Man - Johnnyjet - Mosaix




Honorable Mentions
Jo Zebedee - Juliana - Denise Tanaka - Willwallace - Victoria Silverwolf - Tywin - Jastius - Phyrebrat - TitaniumTi - Holland - Moonbat - Kerrybuchanan - Marmalade - Glen - Crystal Haven - Chrispenycate - The Judge - TheDustyZebra - Ursa Major - Culhwch
 
Thanks for the shortlisting, CC :)

And a massive, Ginormous thanks to both WillWallace and Starbeast for the votes and comments :) !!

It's been extremely hard choosing who to vote for, this month. Every story was amazingly written. The following three lists are in three random orders...

My Honourable Mentions:

The Ballad of Failing Tours by Chrispenycate

Driving Into Darkness by Starbeast

and Burning Devotion by Ursa Major


My Shortlist;

A Gift of Yesterday by jastius

WITH A WHIMPER NOT A BANG by Jo Zebedee

Tempus Fugit by The Judge

The Airplane by Denise Tanaka

The Return by Crystal haven



My votes go to:


A Day In The Life of A Dragon Keeper by Karn Meashalanadea


Whisper in the Wind by Juliana


and The Ace by Tywin
 

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