Discussion -- March 2015 75-word Writing Challenge

Oh Telford, Telford.
*shakes head sadly*

telford -- The author provides the reader with broad comedy in this scatological tale.

Victoria, your classy, cool understatement is the perfect antidote to what's becoming a badly behaved thread. And the naughty step people have ate all my popcorn. Already. Bah. Next naughty writer must being supplies.

@telford, first thing I read when I woke up. Thank you for an early morning snort of laughter x

Victoria Silverwolf said:

telford -- The author provides the reader with broad comedy in this scatological tale.

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Broad? It's so broad I hear Paul Shane has already started filming the TV adaptation.

well, mine's up... by my count 2 whole words under the limit... even managed to hide a homage of sorts within...

I'm worried now that my story was too..vulgar--at least the Linguist's name--and I would feel terrible if I offended any Chronner, or if I stepped over the family-friendly line. If the Mods would prefer it, the story could be removed, or the linguist's name changed..? CC

@Cascade - The Best Medicine - I'd like to think that Doctor Vorden is about as much a PhD as Dr Dre (I forgot about him), and that it's his standup stage name. Still, if the standup comedian is the only one left on the ship who can save the Empress's life, then you'd want him to employ all the skills at his disposal. Hmm, on second thought, maybe the ship was attacked because they had the stand up on board. I mean, talking about dying on stage...

@Cat's Cradle - First Contact - Why You Laughter? - This is just pure, schoolboy naughtiness wrapped up in a perfect little skit. I'd like to think that Linguist Maxi Pad was dressed up in badminton gear, or mountain climbing equipment, because we all know that's what you do when you've got your Maxi Pads on, right ladies? See, I learned all I know from TV too!



@StilLearning - Dedicated Fan - the first non-bodily-fluid-related story in, oh, I don't know, weeks I think? A witty, Galaxy Quest type subversion showing the real reason people join the space navy. I love the idea of Rabcka being in a huff for the rest of the day, even as the enemy start firing.

@telford - The Kleenex Maneuver - Aaaaaand.... Normal service is resumed! Although when I read the title I thought I might be even more risque... Premier League quality pun-ditry abound in this tip-top Trek tissue tale.

Right, I must do some work. More reviews soon!

Cat's Cradle said:

I'm worried now that my story was too..vulgar--at least the Linguist's name--and I would feel terrible if I offended any Chronner, or if I stepped over the family-friendly line. If the Mods would prefer it, the story could be removed, or the linguist's name changed..? CC

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I thought it was funny, although that may say more about us than anybody else...

And anyway, you can't change the Linguist's name, I've already used it in my review!

And thank you so much Victoria for the excellent review!

Many thanks to Victoria and DG for the overly generous reviews.
CC, don't touch a word of your entry. It's a classic and far less distasteful than mine.
Kerry, glad you liked it.
DG, so do I get a little taste from this adaptation?

I'm sure the residuals will be winging their way to you in lovely lime green envelopes very soon. Although for some reason brown envelopes seem more appropriate...

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh my, will the puns never end. Thank god I didn't make puns the subject this month (as I'd planned to). I fear for the sanctity of Chrons if I had.

Puns would have been good.

Although the dam that holds back the reservoir of bad innuendo carry on style snippets that sits in my subconscious would not doubt burst.

Cat's Cradle said:

I'm worried now that my story was too..vulgar--at least the Linguist's name--and I would feel terrible if I offended any Chronner, or if I stepped over the family-friendly line. If the Mods would prefer it, the story could be removed, or the linguist's name changed..? CC

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I don't see any problems with your story, @Cat's Cradle. I thought it was funny (clever too). Nice one.

On the other hand -- a huge groan for your story, @Mr Orange. Lovely.

Thanks for the review, Victoria.

I didn't read any other posts before sticking mine up and I've noticed at least one other Buck Rogers (note to self, must kill Springs), with a robot in and a willy joke - what can I say. Cats Cradle has started well too (note to self, must kill Cat's Cradle too (note to self PPS - charge battery packs for RAY GUNS)), I would never have thought of maxi pads, very clever (note to self - all killings to be completed before voting starts).

I have only thing to say, @Bowler1 .

Be-de-be-de, Buck.

@Mr Orange - Fate of the ESS Vortludo - The Esperanto Space Agency's first forays into the murkier corners of the galaxy do not end well, but at least the crew are spared the epic groanworthiness (as pointed out by Hex) of that frankly magnificent piece of punnin... sorry, cunning, wordplay.

@Bowler1 - Viewing Figures - RAY GUNS? YAY GUNS! Another satirical sideswipe as this time the urgency felt by the characters is dwarfed by the vicarious thrill experienced by the TV viewer. Having said that, what happens next Bowler1? Tell us tell us tell us please please please!!!

@Boneman - Annoying Hal-ucination - the joker becomes the jokee in this space opera mash-up as Hal claims another unwitting human victim. When will they learn, eh? Love the journey from the crap (as in, er, poo) jokes to the quite sinister finish. Is Star Trek simply one long Hal-lucination? I think we should be told.

Tywin – Heh, you can just imagine poor old Zipzod coming out of that ship and shouting “Are you taking the pi…” any way another very entertaining story, that puts the reader in one place before whipping to the other with it’s great ending, and the obvious solution to getting the most from your fighters in the shortest space of time. Interesting take on the term urgency.

farntfar – These stories suddenly seem to have taken on a rather disturbing toilet humour. Quite literally. Did Zipzod provide the Ningis incidentally? But no, this story ended with something that sounded a lot more scatological. And funny. There is a certain madness on show here, a wild imaginary outing that is just crazy (In the best possible way). And I managed to avoid any toilet humour.

HB – There is an old saying about acting in haste repenting at leisure, and here we get to see it in action! And what action it is! I’m sure HB is basing this on something a little bit closer to home. Although travelling fast it was probably not quite that fast. In fact if he’d be any faster he would have posted this story in last month’s challenge.

D G Jones – Taking hold of the subject matter by the nacelles, we get a run of clever comments playing off the popular conceptions of a certain actor/show. It’s nice to see the sex change for a certain actor, while the whole ear fetish thing is to the point and works a treat. There is the double twist in that taken to the extreme it might seem that Quinto is dancing with himself. Herself. Oh I don’t know

Cascade - …the first manages to duck, but the second takes the bar straight in the face.” One of the greatest truths, that laughter is indeed the best medicine. Of course there are extremes and this might be one of them, but I got the point of the story. So did the empress apparently.

CC – One of my favourite TV comedies in recent years was the short-lived, just 2 seasons The Neighbors. To be fair it was a bit of a misfire, the basic premise was excellent, but the execution was never as good as it could have been. But when it did hit the mark… it was hilarious. Why am I rattling on about about this you may ask? Well the characters in the show were mostly aliens, who came to Earth and took their names by copying those of sport stars they saw on TV. This reminded me of that, but it was funnier. If the TV show had taken this approach it might not have been such a >Final words have been redacted on grounds of public decency<